# Your most shameful culinary practices

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Tags:** food-cooking\
**Created:** [March 23, 2021, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498 "2021-03-23T15:42:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 9

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/161 "2021-03-24T20:10:11Z")

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Peanut butter, butter and banana sandwiches.

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/162 "2021-03-24T20:10:48Z")

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> [@Sitnam](#):
>
> The best part of Munster is the rind.

I found that the theme song was what I liked best…

[![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FTl5bRYxe80/hqdefault.jpg "The Munsters - Theme - Longer Version") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTl5bRYxe80)

🤪 🤪

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/163 "2021-03-24T20:14:52Z")

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C-rats, and my Dad said some vets liked them with chocolate sauce. 😱

> [@kitap](#):
>
> Good red wine vinegar salad dressing - very sparingly dribbled on -is excellent on a good-quality roll.

Yes, I use that when I make Sub sandwiches.

> [@TRC4941](#):
>
> I like the cheap frozen pizzas - Tony’s, Red Baron, Roma.

I see you there and raise you- Totinos.

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**Author:** ![Dogginit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogginit/32/16920_2.png) [@Dogginit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogginit)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/164 "2021-03-24T20:17:58Z")

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> [@Seanette](#):
>
> I’ve done things like a bowl of Count Chocula for dinner (yes, even at 51, I still like the Monster Cereals)

Thursday night is always cereal night at our house, by then we’ve gone through the week’s meals from cooking on the weekend, too tired to cook…Cocoa Crispies or Rice Chex (I like mine with a little Brer Rabbit molasses, though I’m sure that’ll go the way of Aunt Jemima & Uncle Ben 😠)

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/165 "2021-03-24T20:21:30Z")

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_What does mama’s little baby love, then?_

Probably Vegemite. 😛

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**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/166 "2021-03-24T20:26:22Z")

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Sometimes I make my gravy in the microwave, it was a trick I learned while working at a catering place that didn’t have a stove. Hard to get a roux to properly brown up, but not impossible. I’ve gotten a knack for it. Still prefer the stove, but if I’m short on burners, into the nuke box it goes. (I can also melt chocolate in the microwave, now that’s a dangerous proposition.)

I also use box wine for cooking. I used to have bottles, but the boxes last much, much longer before turning sour.

I use my immersion blender to scramble my eggs, whether for cooking or as an eggwash.

I use instant mashed potatoes. Everything else may be made from scratch, but I very rarely actually make my own mashed potatoes out of whole potatoes.

The last time I made stock was about a decade ago. I buy the prepackaged stuff.

Speaking of which, during the covid shortages, I couldn’t get any fresh cilantro. In the greens aisle though, I found a little squeeze bottle of cilantro paste. I bought it as I had no other options, but now, I pretty much use it exclusively. They also have ginger paste that I use for a number of dishes. I’ve taken to picking up the basil paste to make a quick pesto with as well.

I’ve pretty much stopped buying garlic bulbs, and instead get jars of pre-minced garlic.

People haven’t noticed, and still quite enjoy what I cook up. I’m terrified of the ghosts of my past chefs looking over my shoulder though.

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**Author:** ![Dogginit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogginit/32/16920_2.png) [@Dogginit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogginit)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/167 "2021-03-24T20:32:22Z")

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> [@Superdude](#):
>
> Ketchup on hot dogs, if I use any condiments at all.
> 
> I _like_ well done steak.

There is a special spot reserved in Hell for you 😉

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/168 "2021-03-24T20:35:08Z")

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I’ve read that MSG is actually helpful for folks on a low-sodium diet, as it can make foods more palatable with overall lower amounts of sodium. (In ofther words sodium in MSG + table salt to make food tasty \< sodium in table salt only to make food tasty.) Plus, many people don’t have a sodium sensitivity that affects their blood pressure. (My wife, for instance, is constantly 100/60-ish and she would salt a salt lick.)

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**Author:** ![Dogginit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogginit/32/16920_2.png) [@Dogginit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogginit)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/169 "2021-03-24T20:35:24Z")

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> [@solost](#):
>
> Yep, that’s the video. Sure, we all have different notions of what we find gross or disgusting, and I wasn’t as bothered by it as my wife was. But harvesting the resulting liquid from huge piles of anchovies and salt fermenting for months in giant open vats only covered by corrugated metal sheets, reaching up to 104 degrees at times, I think most would agree is not the most appetizing process to observe.

Not a whole lot different from the way tabasco sauce is made, only with peppers instead of fish.

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**Author:** ![Dogginit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogginit/32/16920_2.png) [@Dogginit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogginit)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/170 "2021-03-24T20:45:25Z")

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Peanut butter & French’s yellow mustard on crackers of almost any kind make a delightful snack, as my great-uncle & great-aunt taught me.

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**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/171 "2021-03-24T20:54:48Z")

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Sometimes I’ll skip the plate and chow down over sink when no one is watching. Usually a messy sandwich. Likewise I’ll taste what’s cooking directly from the pan over and over.

It’s been awhile since I’ve succumbed to Oreos dipped in coke.

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**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/172 "2021-03-24T20:58:30Z")

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I will sometimes eat nothing but Ruffles and cottage cheese, with a little bit too much black pepper stirred in, as an entire meal.

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**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/173 "2021-03-24T21:01:36Z")

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> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> Suet is usually granular in presentation - either because it’s chopped up directly from chunks of hard animal fat (presumably with some connective tissue) or because it’s formulated into pellets using rice flour etc (in the case of vegetable versions of suet).

If you can find suet in the market at all in the US, it’s just chunks of beef fat that you might put in a birdfeeder. I’ve seen granular “vegetable suet” on “Nadiya Bakes”, but that’s not a product I’ve ever seen here, and in fact, when she said she was using suet and I was shocked that when she then said “vegetable”, because suet, in my experience, is ALWAYS beef fat. (wikipedia says it can also come from sheep, but I’ve never seen it.) The comparable substance from a pig is lard, except you can also find purified lard sold in tubs and sticks. (Called beef tallow if it were made from suet.)

But we have a variety of "shortening"s, including lard, but also vegetable shortening. They are usually sold white, and typically used for baking – for making pastry “short”. I suspect you use “suet” for most of the things we use “shortening” for, despite the difference in form.

Similarly, I observe that on the Great British Bake Off the contestants typically dissolve sheets of gelatin. I have never seen a sheet of gelatin, it’s usually sold as a powder here.

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/174 "2021-03-24T21:02:37Z")

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When pressed for time, I’ve been known to use store-bought croutons for salads. 😒

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**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/175 "2021-03-24T21:03:40Z")

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Well, here is a cite that supports the “short gluten strand” etymology:

> **[Fats and oils: shortening](https://www.ifst.org/lovefoodlovescience/resources/fats-and-oils-shortening)**
>
> A shortening is defined as a fat, solid at room temperature, which can be used to give foods a crumbly and crisp texture such as pastry. Examples of fat used as “shorteners” include butter, margarine, vegetable oils and lard. It is also possible to...

From the text:

> The fats and oils break down the gluten into “shorter strands” hence the term shorteners.

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**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/176 "2021-03-24T21:31:21Z")

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> [@kayaker](#):
>
> When pressed for time, I’ve been known to use store-bought croutons for salads. 😒

You bounder! You utter cad!

😄

Forgot to add - I lovelove_love_ fruitcake. Especially the cheap Claxton variety that’s only ever sold at Christmas.

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**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/177 "2021-03-24T21:32:28Z")

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O em gee me too!! I get everybody’s fruitcakes in December!

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**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/178 "2021-03-24T21:37:28Z")

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I like fruit cake, too. The stuff with lots of glaced fruit in it, in funny colors. Not that dry stuff that’s mostly cake.

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**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/179 "2021-03-24T21:43:26Z")

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> [@TRC4941](#):
>
> -I don’t do a lot of baking, but if I do I usually just buy a mix and canned frosting. Except for cookies.

Total coincidence: just yesterday I tried out a tip from a friend for cake mix cookies. Dead simple:

One box of ‘ordinary’ cake mix. Like Betty Crocker, Duncan Hines, whatever, the kind that’s a single packet of powder about 15 oz. without special tubes of other stuff to add, generally costs about a buck fifty? Any flavor.

1/2 cup of vegetable oil. Again, any cheap-o bland oil.

2 teaspoons of vanilla. (Can skip, or sub other extracts, it just makes the end result seem more ‘home made.’)

2 large eggs.

Dump the four ingredients into a bowl and mix till there are only tiny lumps left. Stirring by hand works fine.

Optional but highly suggested: add 1/2 cup of a suitable mix-in. Like chocolate or toffee chips, ground nuts, shredded coconuts, raisins or any chopped dried fruit, broken up candy bars. Whatever you please.

Drop little dollops onto a greased or parchment paper lined cookie sheet (they spread, so allow room) and bake at 350 f. for 12 minutes. Cool two minutes on the cookie sheet, then transfer to newspaper or wire racks to cool completely.

Or, heck, eat them while they’re still warm. 🙂

Makes about three dozen cookies and barely 20 minutes from opening the cookie mix box to stuffing them into your maw. They’re damn good while warm, and still soft/chewy. They do get firm/crispy after a couple days, but still not bad for almost no invested time at all.

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**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-most-shameful-culinary-practices/938498/180 "2021-03-24T22:17:20Z")

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Yes, it is true that sodium, in reasonable amounts, isnt that dangerous to most people.

Hmm, I will have to look that up.

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