# Your Name For The Bits 'n' Pieces **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151 "2001-12-06T02:17:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/1 "2001-12-06T02:17:00Z")
So, what do you call 'em? My favorite name for the penis: **schwanz** , as used by George Carlin. And yours? Female nicknames welcome, I just don’t have any good ones. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/2 "2001-12-06T02:32:42Z")
I like **pecker**. Just sounds cool. I don’t really like any of the common nicknames for the female bits, and haven’t come up with a good one of my own. ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/3 "2001-12-06T02:46:12Z")
Mr. Happy! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/4 "2001-12-06T03:11:16Z")
I refer to my “female bits” as **neko** , the Japanese word for cat. 😃 My last boyfriend had **Li’l Joshie** (his name was Josh) but I’ve yet to stumble upon a name that I like for my current boyfriend’s genitalia. I happen to be rather fond of both words ending in “ck” for the male anatomy – that “k” sound just makes 'em sound really sexy, to my ears. ---
**Author:** ![SlightDistrurbance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SlightDistrurbance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlightDistrurbance)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/5 "2001-12-06T06:14:46Z")
His?? Heim and the Lads. ((long story)) Mine?? Twinkie ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/6 "2001-12-06T06:48:43Z")
Lord Gargantuous von Throbbicus. Or Lil’ SPOOFE, to his friends (you wanna be Lil’ SPOOFE’s friend?). ---
**Author:** ![Dub56](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@Dub56](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dub56)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/7 "2001-12-06T07:20:09Z")
In a jocular context, “Junk” is good for strict laugh-factor . . . “So i’m sitting there, adjusting the junk, and my mom’s just staring at me, horrified that i would do such a thing at the wake . . .” ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/8 "2001-12-06T08:21:33Z")
**Santa** …it all goes back to this cool pair of Santa decorated Boxers I had a few years back. They met their untimely demise and I have only in the last week found a substitute so **Santa** may finally resume his…umm…gift giving duties, that’s the ticket…duties.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/9 "2001-12-06T10:36:38Z")
The Incredible One-Eyed Wonderworm!! Or,just Bubba. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/10 "2001-12-06T11:04:27Z")
Little Sequoia! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/11 "2001-12-06T14:24:28Z")
“it” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2001, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/12 "2001-12-06T14:26:07Z")
From an episode of _Mad About You_, an ex of mine and I started using the term “schmecky.” ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/13 "2001-12-07T00:05:31Z")
The SO calls his “Stanley” The power drill. ---
**Author:** ![BalmainBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@BalmainBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BalmainBoy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/14 "2001-12-07T02:16:37Z")
PERCY so, in polite company, you can take your leave by saying “just going to point Percy at the porcelain”. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/15 "2001-12-07T02:53:37Z")
Unit and the Nards (band name?) ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-name-for-the-bits-n-pieces/97151/16 "2001-12-07T03:27:48Z")
**Gilligan**. My little buddy that gets into trouble all the time.