# Your nerdy best friend has a crush on cutie; cutie asks you out. What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nerdy-best-friend-has-a-crush-on-cutie-cutie-asks-you-out-what-do-you-do/554773 "2010-09-23T15:15:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nerdy-best-friend-has-a-crush-on-cutie-cutie-asks-you-out-what-do-you-do/554773/41 "2010-09-24T19:53:42Z")
I anxiously await publication of the Rhymer translation of The Bible. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nerdy-best-friend-has-a-crush-on-cutie-cutie-asks-you-out-what-do-you-do/554773/42 "2010-09-24T20:35:53Z")
BBH is a sacred rule, but it’s often over applied, as it would be in this case. It doesn’t apply here because neither has any reason why his “claim” to her is more valid than the others, as both met her at the same time and neither has dated her to this point. Dave has already been more than generous by encouraging his friend to ask her out and promising to wait. As such, Dave is well within his rights to accept her offer, if he so chooses Further, as others indicated, it’s clear that Jenny isn’t all that into Don. If she’s willing to ask Dave out directly, while simply willing to have gone out with Don if he’d asked her, it’s clear that she’s made her choice about who she wants to spend her time with. Trying to pass to get her to go with Don instead would be insulting to her for not letting her make her own choices about who she wants to spend her time with. So, Dave should say yes if he’s interested, and no if he’s not, but Don should have no weight in the matter. For the sake of disclosure, he should probably tell Don, but not for the sake of teaching him a lesson, but because of the sacred code of BBH that women should never come between them, and hiding the facts of the situation could easily lead to that. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nerdy-best-friend-has-a-crush-on-cutie-cutie-asks-you-out-what-do-you-do/554773/43 "2010-09-24T21:15:33Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@TriPolar](#): > > > > The scenario happens all the time. Don is going on to a great career as a Wall St. analyst, he’s going to make a ton of money, while Dave is lucky if his degree in literature gets him a job at Staples. > > Now now. We don’t know that Dave’s getting a lit degree, just that he’s good reading Middle English. He could easily be a business or political science major. **He’ll probably be a senator by his 36th birthday**. \ So you are saying he’s not even qualified to work at Staples? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nerdy-best-friend-has-a-crush-on-cutie-cutie-asks-you-out-what-do-you-do/554773/44 "2010-09-24T21:20:54Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I think I would feel like Jenny is a game player. With Don she’s all demure and shy but she can ask me out directly, oh and I was the cuter one the whole time? Whatever. But Dave **is** cuter. Surely you don’t think he doesn’t know that. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nerdy-best-friend-has-a-crush-on-cutie-cutie-asks-you-out-what-do-you-do/554773.md?page=2)