# Your new pit moderator **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066 "2005-05-09T15:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/81 "2005-05-10T05:46:01Z")
There are giraffes that live two blocks from my house. _Honest_. It’s that kind of neighborhood. We wouldn’t have it any other way. I mean, we are _staying._ ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/82 "2005-05-10T05:46:13Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > **Giraffe** is a BOY? > > OK, who am I thinking of that has a Giraffe-like name but is a girl? > (yeah yeah yeah - welcome and all that other happy shit.) **Gazelle** , maybe? ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/83 "2005-05-10T05:49:14Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > **Gazelle** , maybe? Probably. Did she used to have a longer name? Like… GAZELLE FROM HELL! :smack: Nevermind. And thank you. ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/84 "2005-05-10T05:51:11Z")
Unclviny is not a troublemaker, Unclviny is not a troublemaker, Unclviny is not a troublemaker, Unclviny is not a troublemaker, Unclviny is not a troublemaker. So, how do you prefer your …bribes…donations…honorariums (not bribes, no sir, not here, no way ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge::). Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![unclviny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e274bd/32.png) [@unclviny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unclviny)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/85 "2005-05-10T05:53:19Z")
Hey, How did that smiley thing get in there!?, I hate those damn thingies! Unclviny ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/86 "2005-05-10T05:56:16Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > Probably. Did she used to have a longer name? Like… > GAZELLE FROM HELL! > :smack: Nevermind. > > And thank you. You’re welcome. I’m hiding my vowels, just in case. Sincerely, **Hrmd-sl** ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/87 "2005-05-10T06:27:10Z")
Oh, great. Now we’ll all have to look up “reticulated.” The lexography never stops. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/88 "2005-05-10T06:51:35Z")
“lexography” … I bet he bans you for using that word… ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/89 "2005-05-10T07:45:07Z")
And I, for one, don’t think it was very nice of **TubaDiva** to pit you just because you are a Mod. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/90 "2005-05-10T10:18:05Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Oh, great. Now we’ll all have to look up “reticulated.” The lexography never stops. While you’re in the dictionary, look up lexography. [sub]The study of Superman’s nemesis?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/91 "2005-05-10T11:18:40Z")
YAY! I look forward to four long well polished jackboots stomping on trolls and socks! You do realize, Oh Moderator God, that whomever is the last to post in your offical Welcome thread that you must paypal them $100. It’s tradition. Yeahhhh, that’s the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![griffen2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce7236/32.png) [@griffen2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffen2)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/92 "2005-05-10T11:38:49Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > You do realize, Oh Moderator God, that whomever is the last to post in your offical Welcome thread that you must paypal them $100. It’s tradition. I’ll vouch for that 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/93 "2005-05-10T11:54:55Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Woo! Did ya see how I moderated **El Kabong** ’s post? Moderated the hell out of it! Yeah! What!?! This is an outrageous and unprecedented abuse of power. You’ve changed the whole meaning of my post, assuming the original meaning was, “I am really the worst proof reader ever”. Fascist! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/94 "2005-05-10T11:56:59Z")
WHOO HOO! He’s moderating like a motherfucking **Giraffe**. Or sumtin like dat. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/95 "2005-05-10T12:36:49Z")
Oh great, now we’ll have a new mod showing off his shiny new moderatin’ skillz in every thread here. “Ooh, I fixed coding.” “Ooh, I fixed your link.” “Ooh, you can’t post entire songs here.” “Ooh, you can’t troll here.” Sheesh. I remember when we had broken links in every thread, and we _liked_ it. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/96 "2005-05-10T12:59:48Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > What!?! This is an outrageous and unprecedented abuse of power. You’ve changed the whole meaning of my post, assuming the original meaning was, “I am really the worst **proof reader** ever”. Fascist! That would be “proofreader” – one word. 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/97 "2005-05-10T13:40:46Z")
OK Giraffie, let me help you get conditioned to what life will be like for you once you get in full swing moderating the BBQ Pit. Traffic bitchers: I HATE PEOPLE WHO CUT ME OFF IN TRAFFIC! Just as I was trying to get in the turnoff lane from 540 onto 70 SOME FUCKTARD GOT IN FRONT OF ME JUST AS THE LANE SEPARATED FROM THE HIGHWAY! I had to put on the brakes to avoid colliding with him, and almost got rear-ended myself! HOW DARE HE INCONVENIENCE MY LIFE LIKE THAT? I was 0.00000000005 seconds late getting to work as a result. MAKE UP YOUR MIND WHERE YOU’RE GOING PEOPLE! Semantic Hair Splitters: That wasn’t a degree symbol you used in your formula, dickwad. You used the alt + 0176 key combination instead of the alt + 0186 key combination, resulting in a circle that’s .0034 microns smaller than the standard degree symbol. Get your facts right first or you’re an idiot, cuntface. Those who refuse to come off their pedestals: I refuse to admit I’m wrong, and I’ll act this way because I want to and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Since I’ve subscribed to this thread, I’ll be sure to get in the last word before the mod closes it. So there. Drama queens: You all are singling me out, when I did nothing wrong. You’ve resorted to maligning me, assaulting me, and using personal attacks and insults. I’m sorry you don’t have the emotional security to handle a different opinion than yours. I’m sorry you’re intolerant, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and any other PC appellation that implies agressor-victim unfairness. I refuse to comment any further, as you’ve already made up your minds and arguing with you is pointless. I’m not being defensive. YOU’RE being defensive. I’m not close-minded. You’re just wrong. Topical Issues Trolls: Pope John Paul and Terry Schiavo are being assraped with Satan’s double-dildo pitchfork in hell. Reply to me so everybody can see how much attention I’m getting. Still sure you want the job? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/98 "2005-05-10T13:55:15Z")
**Politico’s** #1. I’m a Repbulican and you are all wrong and here is exactly how to fix what is wrong, jackass. It involves not taxing the Rich Man, try getting off your ass and working for a chance, you teet-sucking douche. #2. I’m a Democrat and you are all wrong and here is exactly how to fix what is wrong, butthead. It involves taxing the Rich Man and helping out our brothers, you cold hearted capitalist! #3. I’m a Liberal and it’s not my fault! And I \*know \* how to fix the problem, what I lack is funding, you bastards! #4. Don’t blame me, I’m Canadian/British/Aussie/Insert other country and we have National Health Care. We will tell you what is wrong with your country and exactly how you should handle the situation. ( Involves beer and pron.) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/99 "2005-05-10T15:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Wile E** _ > > Wait, just how does one get out of line in the pit anyway? Are you [joking](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=4423878#post4423878)? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066/100 "2005-05-10T15:26:12Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > Hear, hear. If only you had a nice long tongue, you’d feel the closer bond of brotherhood that we share. Now I’m hungry for a Tsetse fly… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-new-pit-moderator/303066.md?page=6)