# Your nomination for the Sappiest Song Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 17, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168 "2008-11-17T20:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/61 "2008-11-18T14:46:41Z")
“Last Kiss,” Snickers, and I think it was Pearl Jam. Oh, how I love bad songs. There are some wonderful gems in here. I think I smell an iPod favorites list forming. 😃 How about Garden Party? Remember that one? I don’t know that it’s particularly sappy, but it certainly reeks as a song. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/62 "2008-11-18T15:20:38Z")
Lest we forget, Clint Holmes sang the following in “Playground In My Mind”: \*See the little children See how they’re playing so happy In the playground in my mind. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba La la la la la la la.\* To spare you all further brain damage, I have omitted the part where the rotten child sings “My name is Michael, I’ve got a nickel”. Hey kid, here’s a quarter if you’ll STFU. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/63 "2008-11-18T16:06:15Z")
Ladies and Gentleman I give you: [I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard](http://www.amazon.com/Hate-Myself-Want-Die-Depressing/dp/140130835X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227024294&sr=1-1) ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/64 "2008-11-18T16:15:49Z")
Heh, sappy, not depressing. “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” was a Nirvana song. It never seemed especially depressing to me, but it was of course prescient. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/65 "2008-11-18T16:25:20Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > Heh, sappy, not depressing. > “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” was a Nirvana song. It never seemed especially depressing to me, but it was of course prescient. ::shrug:: many of the songs listed here are in the book. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/66 "2008-11-18T16:57:14Z")
> [@Carm6773](#): > > Don’t forget these: > [Love, Me by Collin Ray](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND7Q6DOdsAY) > [Holes in the Floor of Heaven by Steve Wariner](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJUOFeE_Ouc&feature=related) > and > [How Can I Help You to Say Goodbye by Patti Loveless](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCmlZv7dh3s) Nope. Got you beat. [Don’t Take the Girl](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP1G5i5q-hk) Was the sappiest song I’d ever heard before “Butterfly Kisses.” Then they played it at my friends funeral. Now I want to puke _and_ cry every time I hear it. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/67 "2008-11-18T17:13:44Z")
> [@Black\_Sunshine](#): > > Nope. Got you beat. [Don’t Take the Girl](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP1G5i5q-hk) Does she die at the end or not? I never figured that out. ---
**Author:** ![Avast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Avast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avast)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/68 "2008-11-18T17:58:34Z")
Since “Butterfly kisses” and “Christmas Shoes” have already been mentioned I’ll offer up: **Crystal Shawanda** - [You Can Let Go Daddy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=532jxGDRjGY) It reads like a checklist of requirements for the most lachrymose song award. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/69 "2008-11-18T20:53:06Z")
> [@ShermanAter](#): > > From 1967…Little Becky’s Christmas wish > > [http://www.bigozine2.com/features06/littlebecky.html](http://www.bigozine2.com/features06/littlebecky.html) > > I was 8 years old From **Sherman** ’s cite - > [@](#): > > Not too long ago Tommy was home in a green suit with great big gold buttons. He looked like our mailman Mr. Dewey. Perhaps that’s why Mommy and Daddy got into a big fight and Daddy left. Who does Becky look like, the milkman? ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/70 "2008-11-18T21:58:34Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > What about Johnny Cash’s “Give My Love to Rose”? It’s pretty damned treacly. Homeless guy, just out of prison or some such–hero come across him as he lays dying in the street. “give all my money to Rose. Tell my son to help his mother around the house. Tell Rose to buy some pretty clothes.” etc. > yuck. > Whatever that song is by Elton John and Kiki Dee–I can’t stand it. Doubt it’s sappy, but I just hate it. No, I don’t want to know the title because then it will become an earworm. Too bad! “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart.” You know how we roll around here! ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/71 "2008-11-18T22:03:22Z")
Since all of the really sappy ones are taken, I nominate Foreigner: I Want To Know What Love Is. > [@](#): > > In my life there’s been heartache and pain > I don’t know if I can face it again > Can’t stop now, Ive traveled so far > To change this lonely life > > I wanna know what love is > I want you to show me ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/72 "2008-11-18T22:41:10Z")
I came in based on the thread title to say “Seasons in the Sun”, which is by far the sappiest song ever sung. I don’t see it disqualified by being worn out so much as that as you are looking for second place. Which would be “Patches”, a distant second, but still far ahead of anything which could be third place. Other songs are just cloying in comparison to these two. But you already knew these things. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/73 "2008-11-18T22:46:29Z")
_Don’t give up on us, baby We’re still worth one more try I know we put our last one by Just for a rainy evening When maybe stars are few Don’t give up on us, I know we can still come throooooooouuuuuuuuuuugh!_ [David Soul](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Soul), for all of you blessed enough not to have this one act as an earworm. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/74 "2008-11-18T23:03:08Z")
[del]_Ebony and Ivory_, _Silly Love Songs_ and _My Love_ are all cloyingly awful.[/del] Nope, the award should go to [_Yummy Yummy Yummy_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozqfOzqMvlQ), by the Ohio Something-or-Other. Not only the sappiest, but possibly the worst song ever written. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/75 "2008-11-18T23:05:51Z")
These are epic schmaltz-fests, but let me throw up [“She Can’t Help Herself”](http://www.mp3lyrics.org/l/level-42/she/) by Level 42. LSS, the subject of the song’s parents are killed in a car wreck, she’s sexually assaulted by a family friend, and she’s unable to find love. Mark King, the band’s vocalist, stated that he thought, “Bloody hell, what else can happen to this poor girl?” It’s a great song musically and vocally, but the lyrics are so horrible it makes me cringe. Surely “Macarthur Park” has been mentioned in this thread? I just scanned it real quickly and didn’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/76 "2008-11-18T23:08:00Z")
In all seriousness, I retract my first nomination and replace it with the thread-winner: [Dear Mr. Jesus](http://www.dayofthechild.org/dc98/lyric.htm). This shows up in Texas on country stations around Christmastime. Does it make me evil for laughing at it? ---
**Author:** ![Fuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Fuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/77 "2008-11-18T23:18:17Z")
[Longer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN2etyrsdoU&feature=related) - Dan Fogelberg. Longer than there’s been fishes in the ocean… this song has been sending me into a diabetic coma. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/78 "2008-11-18T23:32:16Z")
[Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42ty-4IsLpQ) - John Denver Click the link… I dare ya! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/79 "2008-11-19T00:49:08Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Too bad! “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart.” You know how we roll around here! Bastard! \ I’d say most stuff by Barry Manilow, or as I like to call him: Barely Manenough. And Paul McCartney and Wings were none too sincere, either. How about “Ebony and Ivory”? That’s putrid. I know that’s Sir Paul and Jacko, but what the hell–Paul always was the Beatle with the worst case of treacle/smarm. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168/80 "2008-11-19T03:08:19Z")
_I hear the cottonwoods whisp’ring above Tammy, Tammy, Tammy’s in love_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-nomination-for-the-sappiest-song-ever/473168.md?page=5)