# Your Onion Headlines: January 2013

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-onion-headlines-january-2013/646246>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [January 6, 2013, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-onion-headlines-january-2013/646246 "2013-01-06T08:32:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-onion-headlines-january-2013/646246/61 "2013-01-10T22:53:31Z")

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> [@Superhal](#):
>
> Humorous Thread Shot Down

Can you provide a link? I would like to read something humorous.

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**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\
**Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-onion-headlines-january-2013/646246/62 "2013-01-13T20:15:37Z")

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**Lance Armstrong pours soul, drugs into creation of the One Bracelet**  
_Former cycling champ attempts to control cancer foundation through black magic_

**Astronomers report possible life spotted on distance planet**  
_Uncertainty marks discovery as one astronomer swears he saw frantic humanoid hurriedly pull tarp over possible alien object_

**Vatican city planners accidentally replace ancient cathedral with Subway**

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