# Your opinion of this quote please. (Men vs women, relationship type quote) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2015, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597 "2015-08-11T23:29:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/1 "2015-08-11T23:29:48Z")
This quote started a ruckus on my FB page today. Just thought I’d see what you guys thought: WAIT TO SEE IF HE’S ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND FIRST; DON’T TREAT HIM LIKE ONE UNTIL HE’S EARNED IT. Thoughts? (I’m going to add my two cents in later. I have an unexpected errand just come up that I have to run right now.) ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/2 "2015-08-11T23:37:33Z")
I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/3 "2015-08-11T23:41:26Z")
My opinion is that it’s a quip whose meaning is too connotative to say much about its content. It is, however, great for venting & axe-grinding prompted by past relationship troubles which were due to being wronged or having unwise expectations. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/4 "2015-08-11T23:45:07Z")
What does “acting like a boyfriend” mean, anyway? Sending you flowers? Taking you out to dinner? Pestering you for sex? In general, I think it’s a good idea not to try to make a casual relationship too serious too soon. However, I think there are probably better ways to say that, even ways that are pithy and quotable. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/5 "2015-08-11T23:51:51Z")
I would run a mile. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/6 "2015-08-11T23:53:37Z")
I assume the vague general meaning is something like “don’t assume you have a particular sort of relationship with a person without actual evidence to that effect,” which is good advice as far as it goes, though vague. I’m curious as to what people think “acting like a boyfriend” and “treating someone like a boyfriend” entail. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/7 "2015-08-11T23:56:11Z")
How about just cut the B.S. and ask if he wants to be your boyfriend? He says no, you don’t want it casual, jump ship ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/8 "2015-08-12T01:00:43Z")
My opinion is that most of life can’t be summed up on a Facebook post. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/9 "2015-08-12T01:03:53Z")
I assume that the quote means things like sending flowers, and not just expressing interest, else why would it end with “until he’s earned it”? But yeah, it really needs both more context and more nuance. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/10 "2015-08-12T01:06:41Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I assume that the quote means things like sending flowers, and not just expressing interest, else why would it end with “until he’s earned it”? I assumed it meant “don’t sleep with a guy whom you’re not sure will publicly acknowledge you as his girlfriend.” ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/11 "2015-08-12T01:08:45Z")
It could mean anything at all. That’s the beauty of it! Facebook is the opiate of the people. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/12 "2015-08-12T01:15:17Z")
What if a female whose operating principle is WAIT TO SEE IF HE’S ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND FIRST; DON’T TREAT HIM LIKE ONE UNTIL HE’S EARNED IT. meets a male whose operating principle is WAIT TO SEE IF SHE’S ACTING LIKE A GIRLFRIEND FIRST; DON’T TREAT HER LIKE ONE UNTIL SHE’S EARNED IT. ??? What happens if all males and females everywhere followed these operating principles? What happens if an immovable post meets another immovable post? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/13 "2015-08-12T01:22:23Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What happens if an immovable post meets another immovable post? They both bitch about immovable posts on Facebook. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/14 "2015-08-12T01:24:21Z")
Seems like a more confrontational version of “Don’t make someone a priority who is making you an option”, which is solid enough advice. ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/15 "2015-08-12T01:42:38Z")
Once you decipher it, it’s an OK thought, but something about the way it’s phrased is super passive-aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/16 "2015-08-12T01:43:21Z")
“Earned it” is problematic. See, it’s a salaried position, not hourly, so you can get called in at any time, or they can really work that “and other duties as assigned” clause from the employee handbook until you’re a mess. Everywhere is an “at will” state, so don’t get too comfy. And if you strike, they can bring in scab labor. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/17 "2015-08-12T01:47:02Z")
I’m going to guess that “ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND” means being your boyfriend on social media, and being with you in a girlfriend capacity around his IRL friends, in which case I agree: until he does those things, you’re just a side piece without commitment. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/18 "2015-08-12T01:57:28Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What if a female whose operating principle is > > WAIT TO SEE IF > HE’S ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND FIRST; > DON’T TREAT HIM > LIKE ONE UNTIL > HE’S EARNED IT. > > meets a male whose operating principle is > > WAIT TO SEE IF > SHE’S ACTING LIKE A GIRLFRIEND FIRST; > DON’T TREAT HER > LIKE ONE UNTIL > SHE’S EARNED IT. > > ??? > > What happens if all males and females everywhere followed these operating principles? > > What happens if an immovable post meets another immovable post? This was exactly my thought. Also, as stated above. It comes off as super passive aggressive to me. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/19 "2015-08-12T02:05:05Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What happens if all males and females everywhere followed these operating principles? > > What happens if an immovable post meets another immovable post? That was my take as well. It is rather stereotypical in terms of gender roles; all the expectation on the guy to make the first move and prove himself, nothing about what the woman might bring to the party or do to be proactive about her life. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2015, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597/20 "2015-08-12T02:05:25Z")
Sounds like we are supposed to look out for ourselves, but it’s a gamey way of saying so. Man here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-of-this-quote-please-men-vs-women-relationship-type-quote/727597.md?page=2)