# Your Opinion on this Family Matter **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 20, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159 "2009-01-20T18:04:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159/41 "2009-01-23T11:15:44Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > That. > How can anyone get mad at you if you clearly state your intention and give them their chance to have them if they want them? You have been lucky not to run into people like this. It doesn’t matter that the items are unwanted and that they were offered to family members. Sometimes people get emotional and ignore logic. > [@pravnik](#): > > They are yours to do with as you like, and selling or giving them away is entirely your decision and your right. Unfortunately, as soon as you make that decision and exercise that right your family is going to completely freak out on you, and it won’t matter that you’re right and they’re wrong. You’ve already seen the tip of that iceberg. You have to decide whether the extra space in your household is worth enduring casual, icy comments to no-one-in-particular at each and every Thanksgiving for the next 50 years or so. Exactly. > [@astro](#): > > You might make some future wife/wives and daughters quite happy with your portion of the collection. I vote for holding your nose and hanging onto it. Yes, This is clever. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159/42 "2009-01-23T18:00:09Z")
I’m not sure how to explain this but… Do they each know that all the others have refused? I mean, maybe MamaHomie doesn’t want to take them herself, but gets upset at the thought of you getting rid of them because she assumes one of the other three will take them, and therefore you just getting rid of them seems kinda crappy. Perhaps all four of them are operating on some version of that assumption. I think it’s worth investigating that option before you make a decision. And to the rest of you who say “it’s yours to do with what you wish,” well, I suppose that’s technically correct. But if an item would have sentimental value, then it seems quite shitty to just get rid of it without offering it to the other family members. (Of course, if you’re certain they won’t take it, then you’ve done your due diligence and you can do what you want with it.) I agree that boxing them up is an excellent option for all the reasons stated above. And I LOVE the idea of giving them to a younger relative or bride-to-be! > [@Auntbeast](#): > > Boy, do I feel your pain. I have a house full of things that were given to my husband by his grandparents and I can’t do shit about it. In addition, we are moving and I’ve had two HUGE boxes of Christmas decorations of my MIL’s that she a. wants b. won’t take c. won’t let me toss. I finally contacted her other child-with-a-storage-unit and had her come get them. Did I mention that every time the MIL comes to town, I offer to bring her the boxes and for 4 years, there has always been a reason for her not to take them? > …One day, my MIL was at my house, I mentioned I finally got rid of the 4 huge french onion soup bowls that in 15 years we had never used. She freaked out. > … > I don’t know what makes people want to dictate to you what to do with stuff, but won’t take it themselves. Somehow, it makes you the bad guy. I just don’t understand. It’s a control issue. Your MIL is trying to usurp your right to have full control over your own household. But to quote Ann Landers, nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. I have to ask–why did you mention that you had gotten rid of the soup bowls. Would she ever have known? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159/43 "2009-01-23T18:04:43Z")
Sell them. Tell no one. If they ask say “I have carefully stored them away in a safe deposit box”. I doubt if they have enough value for a museum. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159/44 "2009-01-23T21:20:26Z")
Put the onus on the family. Say “I’m going to sell them on eBay.” If you want them for free take them, otherwise the problem is out of my hands now. Then follow through, this is passive aggressive bullying by your family members. The real problem is not the glassware but the fact your family believes by giving them away you are not respecting the memory of your grandmother Alternate solution: Put them near a baby or dog, problem with solve itself ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159/45 "2009-01-23T22:44:08Z")
I don’t know how much room they would take up in a crush proof container or how much storage space you have, but I’d go with storing them securely for another generation to worry about or forcing the issue for someone who’s opposed to getting rid of them to take them off your hands. While they are certainly yours to dispose of as you please, removing them from the family will result in bad feelings that can be avoided. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159/46 "2009-01-24T00:27:53Z")
The dreaded China Set acceleration syndrome! We have China Service(s?) in the following amounts: 1 My Grandmother 2 Her Grandmother (partial) 3 My Mom 4 Her Mom 5 Our Christmas Set 6 Our Wedding set Plus uncounted crystal, Silver, and tea sets. Honestly, I sometimes wish Colorado got earthquakes. I feel for my future daughters in law, as they’re be dealing with 9-15 sets each. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-opinion-on-this-family-matter/482159.md?page=2)