# Your patience for idle talk? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786 "2011-11-03T21:54:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/21 "2011-11-04T16:49:53Z")
This situation doesn’t happy very often for me, but when it does, I call that shit out within the first five minutes. My herd of guy friends in high school once came up with the idea of building a shed in the woods behind Lumpy’s house so they could have a place to get drunk. They were all sitting around tossing around ideas about where to buy supplies, how much it would cost, when they would build it, how to insulate it, etc. Eventually someone noticed that I, the only experienced carpenter in the room, had not contributed anything to the conversation. I was asked what I thought of it all. I shot the fuckers down big time. I pointed out the two important facts: A) they would never commit the time and the money to finish to project, so any commitment whatsoever would eventually be for nothing. B) Even if I helped, we did not possess nearly enough collective knowledge to make it happen. Insulation? Waterproofing? Forget it! They didn’t take too kindly to my pessimism, but of course I was right in the end. They bought some 2x4s and cement, put a few posts in the ground, and that was the end of that project. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/22 "2011-11-04T17:18:19Z")
Doesn’t bother me. Unless it’s about getting out of an abusive situation, then I just can’t sit around listening to it. I am a person who makes decisions veerrrryyyyyyy sssllllooowwwlllyyyyy. I know it drives some folks nuts. But I take into account every tangent and think things through carefully before I make a move. For instance, it takes a minimum of six months for me to buy a car. Once my decision is truly made, I act quickly and decisively, and others have told me that everything just seems to fall into place. Well, duh, that’s because I’ve been planning it for six months! so if you haven’t heard me talkign about it, then I just look like an extremely lucky and impulsive person for whom the slightest whim comes off without a hitch and the best deals always seem to fall into her lap. But truly, a great deal of thought and research has gone into everything, and then one morning I wake up, or the best possible deal appears, and you’ll hear me say “I know what I’m going to do today!” And BOOM! New whip in the drive. That’s not to say your friend isn’t just farting around for no reason. . . but also remember that you are a stronger and braver person than most MOL, and what looks easy to you really isn’t for others. Unless we’re just talking about learning to ice skate or somehting, in which case kick her in the behind already! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/23 "2011-11-04T18:07:05Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Apparently I am a “terrible” listener. Though I prefer to think of myself as “solution-oriented.” Exactly! Some people, I’ve learned, don’t actually _want_ solutions to their problems, and just want to vent. I learned this about her fairly quickly, which made it easier for me to listen to her whining. I just thought, “She’s only venting, so I’ll let her vent.” But then after something like a year of pretending to be serious, and all the excuse making, agh! Come the fuck on! Please defecate or exit the lavatory! > [@Cryptic\_C62](#): > > This situation doesn’t happy very often for me, but when it does, I call that shit out within the first five minutes. Lord knows I’ve tried, but it won’t stop. Now imagine if you called them out, and they kept talking about it. How long before you strangled? > [@TruCelt](#): > > That’s not to say your friend isn’t just farting around for no reason. . . but also remember that you are a stronger and braver person than most MOL, and what looks easy to you really isn’t for others. That’s very sweet of you to say, but I’m not sure if it’s true. Also, if this were all part of her planning stage, but it was taking forever, I’d be slightly annoyed but would get over it. Not everyone is impulsive like I am, so I let people take their time to make their minds up, even if I would have done so a long time ago. She’s already made up her mind, she claims, and yet she’s just sitting around twiddling her thumbs. > [@](#): > > Unless we’re just talking about learning to ice skate or somehting, in which case kick her in the behind already! It actually is something that simple. I mean, learning to ice skate would take some time and effort, but really, all you have to do is just do it. You wanna know what her fucking “dream” is? She wants a new job in a new city. That’s it. She’s tired of Minneapolis and where she works, so she wants a chance of pace. Holy Big Fucking Deal, Batman, she wants to move to 350 miles away, not build a fucking colony on fucking Mars. Good Gods. I know this economy is ugly, but how hard is it to, I dunno, revise your fucking resume and apply for something? Just goddamn do it already. You know are very good personal friends with three people who live where you want to, lady, and one person works at the same fucking company as you do. Ask around for leads? You don’t even need to buy a plane ticket for an interview. You can fucking drive and stay the night with any one of the three of us. You get like a bajillion paid days off where you work (I used to work there, so I know), so time off isn’t even a big deal. This couldn’t be a simpler piece of cake if Betty-MFing-Crocker prepared it for you, yet there has been zero effort put into it. None. I take that back. She applied for ONE job, and got a phone interview that didn’t pan out. When she thought she may have had a chance, she backpedaled around with claims of how she couldn’t afford to move, and whatever else bullshit. _SO THEN STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT._ Now she’s bothering me because she’s coming to look at apartments, as if she’s going anywhere, and wants to hang when she’s in town. I’m like, “When are you moving again?” She’s not, of course. She’s just going to waste the rental agent’s time with her little delusion becuase _some day_ she’ll move and she wants to have an apartment lined up. I told her that’s not how this works, and nothing she looks at is going to even be available by the time she “moves” so maybe it might be a better idea to just hang around for fun as opposed to taking up an appointment from an actual potential renter. She ignored this, and is going to do it anyway, because damn it, she’s serious about this! Right. So that’s what prompted this whole little thread: my annoyance at her not only bothering her friends about this “dream” of hers that will continue to go unfulfilled, but now she’s dragging other people into it and wasting their time. It really (clearly!) has irritated the shit out of me. Any more talk of this, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to murder a good friend. I need to find a more productive to tell her --once more!-- to stop fucking bullshitting already. I feel like I should say “fuck” some more. Fuck. _Exhales_ Ah. The internet is good for screaming into. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/24 "2011-11-04T21:33:26Z")
She’s probably getting some sort of emotional pay off for not getting it done. Maybe the planning part of it, talking none stop is actually more exciting than actually accomplishing it and if she gets it done that buzz will be gone. ---
**Author:** ![chetsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chetsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chetsmom)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/25 "2011-11-04T21:46:47Z")
Me too! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/26 "2011-11-05T02:15:04Z")
Three words. “Talk is cheap!” Repeat, as required. This is your response, each time, every time. She’ll either stop bringing it up, get pissed and leave, or, maybe actually do something about it. So, to review, only two responses, silence, and ‘Talk is cheap!’. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/27 "2011-11-05T02:20:42Z")
Next year, I’m definately going to Burning Man. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2011, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786/28 "2011-11-05T05:30:04Z")
I was thinking, maybe next time she gets into it, ask her what she’s afraid of. This sounds like someone who is stuck - she’s afraid of something, or she’s afraid of success, or she’s afraid of change, or something that’s getting in her way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patience-for-idle-talk/601786.md?page=1)