# Your Patron Saint Designation by . . . Swimming Riddles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2000, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536 "2000-04-27T12:59:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/41 "2000-04-27T16:33:00Z")
Bless us, Saint SwimmingRiddles, Patron Saint of Patron Saints! Esprix * * * Evidently, I rock. [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/42 "2000-04-27T16:41:00Z")
You do realize that by making me a saint, that whole Biblical heiarchy thing that has worked so well for all eternity is out the window… Ah, fuck it! Cannonize Satan, my good man! * * * Yer pal, Satan [http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif](http://www.raleighmusic.com/board/Images/devil.gif) _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Two weeks, four days, 14 hours, 41 minutes and 11 seconds. 744 cigarettes not smoked, saving $93.06. Life saved: 2 days, 14 hours, 0 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/43 "2000-04-27T16:45:00Z")
When I was a young lad, I was so gay and mean I used to chase the girls around, just like young St. Augustine. St. Ausgustine, he got to be a saint so if I get to be one too, ma, don’t you faint. – Bokonon All this is by way of saying, SwimmingRiddles, I’d love to be canonized by you! ---
**Author:** ![h\_thur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/db5fbb/32.png) [@h\_thur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h_thur)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/44 "2000-04-28T05:08:00Z")
Please, please, make a saint of me. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/45 "2000-04-28T05:13:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Bless us, St. Sealemon: Patron Saint of UserNames That Swimmy Can’t See Without Hearing Harry Belafonte Say Them Out Loud. Also Patron Saint of Shrubberies. Oh, very nice. Very nice indeed. I’ll set up a nice two lair effect with my shrubberies. All I need now is a Master Shrubberer to bless. Thanks, SW! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/46 "2000-04-28T05:18:00Z")
Bless us, St. Milo: Patron Saint of Lost Keys Bless us, St. Falcon: Patron Saint of Three Minute Mystery Groupies Bless us, St. Trout Mask Replica: Patron Saint of Clever Retorts Bless us, St. Breckinshire: Patron Saint of Shameless Begging for Recognition. And Patron Saint of Pizza. Bless us, St. Johnnyharvard: Patron Saint of People Who Gloat About Kissing And Make Those Of Us Who Are Not Kissing Feel So Much Better About Our Astounding Lack of Kissing Lately. Conversely, Patron Saint of Shoelaces. Bless us, St. Satan [I highly enjoyed typing that, by-the-by]: Patron Saint of Classic Sigs and One Half of the High Holy Board Couple. Bless us, St. RTFirefly: Patron Saint of Silly Poems About Saints Running Around Being Pimp Daddies. And Patron Saint of People Who Sneeze a lot. h\_thur, I’m not sure anyone could make a saint out of you. KIDDING! Bless us, St. h\_thur: Patron Saint of Windchimes ps: Sealmon, I think that’s “a nice two LAYER effect…” Ni! * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/47 "2000-04-28T05:39:00Z")
St Casdave sounds good ,but for what? ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/48 "2000-04-28T05:42:00Z")
Can you really make a saint of me? * * * …ebius sig. This is a moebius sig. This is a mo… (sig line courtesy of WallyM7) ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/49 "2000-04-28T05:45:00Z")
Bless us: St. Casdave: Patron Saint of Dangling Participles * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/50 "2000-04-28T05:45:00Z")
Oh, sure, _Mullinator_ gets to be patron saint of Republicans you respect. Does that make me patron saint of Republicans you laugh heartily at? If not, what am I the patron saint of? * * * JMCJ “Y’know, I would invite y’all to go feltch a dead goat, but that would be abuse of a perfectly good dead goat and an insult to all those who engage in that practice for fun.” -weirddave, set to maximum flame ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/51 "2000-04-28T05:48:00Z")
Bless us, St. Cabbage: Patron Saint of cruciferious vegetables and holder of the most holy and clever Wally sig yet! * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/52 "2000-04-28T05:49:00Z")
Ahhh, what do you make an agnostic like myself patron saint of? (Bless us Narile, patron saint of…ehhh, whatever. ?) * * * \>\>Threads killed, no questions asked, just give me the payment, and I’ll post to it…the kiss of death of late.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/53 "2000-04-28T05:56:00Z")
Cool! Hey Swimming, what would I be the patron saint of? * * * VB I’ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. It’s broken. - A Wally original! ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2000, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/54 "2000-04-28T05:58:00Z")
I do not want to be the patron saint of putzes. How about patron saint of porno actresses? I could be that. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/55 "2000-04-27T18:05:00Z")
Bless us, St. John Corrado: Patron Saint of Board Members whose Usernames are Not Colorado, But sort of Sound Like it. And also Patron Saint of Republicans That Swimmy Laughs Heartily at. Bless us, St. Narile: She Might Be the Patron Saint of Agnostics. Then again, She Might Not Be. Bless us, St. Vestal Blue: Patron Saint of All Things Hot and Firey (get it? Vestal? eh…that’s weak.) How about Patron Saint of Can Openers. Bless us, St. Wally. Patron Saint of Porno Actresses, Strippers, and (conversely) Heart Medication. Also Patron Saint of Dopers Who Get Stuck Thinking Up Arcane Titles and Stuff for Other Dopers. (wasn’t the sig thread the first of its kind? * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![ignatiusjreilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@ignatiusjreilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatiusjreilly)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/56 "2000-04-27T18:05:00Z")
I wasn’t gloating. It was just a really really good kiss and I had the urge to share… ::eases next to Riddles:: > [@](#): > > …And Make Those Of Us Who Are Not Kissing Feel So Much Better About Our Astounding Lack of Kissing Lately… y’know, babe… I can help you take care of that little problem whenever you want… {smooch} ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/57 "2000-04-27T18:09:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles: > \*\* > > Bless us, St. Vestal Blue: Patron Saint of All Things Hot and Firey … > > {/B] My, you _are_ quick! Yes, I get it! I like hot and firey…right, falcon? 😉 Thanks, Saint SR! * * * VB I’ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. It’s broken. - A Wally original! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/58 "2000-04-27T18:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Bless us, St. John Corrado: Patron Saint of Board Members whose Usernames are Not Colorado, But sort of Sound Like it. And also Patron Saint of Republicans That Swimmy Laughs Heartily at. I swear, if CalifBoomer ever tries to invoke me… Thanks, SR. * * * JMCJ “Y’know, I would invite y’all to go feltch a dead goat, but that would be abuse of a perfectly good dead goat and an insult to all those who engage in that practice for fun.” -weirddave, set to maximum flame ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/59 "2000-04-27T18:44:00Z")
[bathroom graffiti] “SwimmingRiddles made me a saint.” “If I give her the yarn can she make me one too?” [/bathroom graffiti] ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/60 "2000-04-27T18:50:00Z")
Bless us, St. Otto: Patron Saint of Posts that I don’t Really Get, But Am Pretty Sure Have Something To Do With Sex. Also Patron Saint of Broccoli * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536.md?page=4)