# Your Patron Saint Designation by . . . Swimming Riddles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2000, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536 "2000-04-27T12:59:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/61 "2000-04-27T18:50:00Z")
Yoo Hoo, SwimmingRiddles… who might I be…? * * * “Organs gross me out. That’s _organs_, not orgasms.” -the wallster ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/62 "2000-04-27T18:52:00Z")
Bless us, St. Mega the Roo: Patron Saint of Marsupials and Shampoo (hey, I made it rhyme!) * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/63 "2000-04-27T18:55:00Z")
I’ve already got a cocktail namesake…does that disqualify me to be a saint as well? * * * ~~Sunshine “It’s not death I fear so much as leaving something so beautiful as life.” ---
**Author:** ![I.M.Kierkegaard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ea5d25/32.png) [@I.M.Kierkegaard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I.M.Kierkegaard)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/64 "2000-04-27T18:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles: > Bless us, St. I.M.: Patron Saint of Dopers with Usernames that Swimmy Doesn’t Even Try And Pronounce, Much Less Understand. (if that is really your name, though, you are the Patron Saint of Ice Cream.) 🙂 Thanks so much Swimmy (you don’t mind if I call you Swimmy, right?). It actually is not my name, but is the name of the father of the Existentialist movement in philosophy. “Key-air-keh-guard” is one pronunciation I have heard as accepted, though I believe there are others… But… can I be the patron saint of ice cream too, even if it ain’t me real name? I love that Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla Heath Crunch stuff… * * * –I am Soren Kierkegaard.– “People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.” ---
**Author:** ![ignatiusjreilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@ignatiusjreilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatiusjreilly)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/65 "2000-04-27T19:02:00Z")
There is nothing so disconcerting as the cold-shoulder rejection. ☹ C’mon SR, how bout just a little peck on the cheek? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/66 "2000-04-27T19:23:00Z")
::sigh:: OK, but just because you’re persistant. : :peck:: Now I’m gonna be the board skank. Happy? Bless us, St. Sunshine: Patron Saint of Newbies Who Don’t Expect Too Much Of the Rest of Us. (darling, don’t ask, demand!) Also Patron Saint of The Crappy Weather that’s been Sticking Around Swimmy’s Area Lately. (sunshine? I have a vague recollection of that that looks like…) * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/67 "2000-04-27T19:35:00Z")
Ahh…sainthood feels so nice! Ok, I haven’t learned the art of demanding yet but I hope I’ve learned how to suck up/say thank you. Observe: “Oh, Swimmingest one, I humbly thank you for your esteemed and witty remarks, of which I am hardly worthy. May the TM continue to be blessed with your radiant presence.” Oh, and also (to clear up them clouds) May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. And rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of His hand. -Irish Blessing * * * ~~Sunshine “It’s not death I fear so much as leaving something so beautiful as life.” ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/68 "2000-04-27T19:42:00Z")
St Casdave-Participles that dangle - he is the saint of! Bless you Swimingriddles for god you are the child of. Go thus unto the world and spread the you light of peace about. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/69 "2000-04-27T19:48:00Z")
I’ve been good, SwimmingRiddles, really I have. Could I forego the whole long beatification process and get canonized instantly by your fiat? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/70 "2000-04-27T19:50:00Z")
Why, thank you, St. Sunshine! You’ll do just fine 'round these parts if you keep up with that. You forgot the last line of that blessing, “And may you be in heaven an hour, ere the devil knows you’re dead.” * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![Glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@Glitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glitch)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/71 "2000-04-27T19:53:00Z")
My good SwimmingRiddles, I would appreciate it if you could designate me as a holy saint of SDMB. Thank you. P.s. - if you can think of something other than anything martial arts related I’ll be impressed even. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/72 "2000-04-27T20:03:00Z")
Bless us, St. Arnold: Patron Saint of People Who Think Swiddles (thanks, Ike!) Drives Something Other Than a Mercury Tracer. (get it? Fiat? bwwhhaahahaaaa. ha. I kill me.) Bless us, St. Glitch: Patron Saint of Cardboard. (still impressed?) * * * “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ```auto My iguana's sick. He's all floppy. Could he have Reptile dysfunction? -Chef Troy, Haiku Master ``` ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/73 "2000-04-27T20:26:00Z")
Oh Great Swimming I have been so good for so long I feel I deserve a Sainthood (Miss Goody Two- Shoes is a sort of boring name) Might you give me my designation? * * * Bargain not with the Darkness: in time it will take us all. Exerpted from The Book of Nod ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/74 "2000-04-27T20:31:00Z")
Oh Great Swimming I have been so good for so long I feel I deserve a Sainthood (Miss Goody Two- Shoes is a sort of boring name) Might you give me my designation? * * * Bargain not with the Darkness: in time it will take us all. Exerpted from The Book of Nod ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/75 "2000-04-27T20:41:00Z")
Oh Great Swimming I have been so good for so long I feel I deserve a Sainthood (Miss Goody Two- Shoes is a sort of boring name) Might you give me my designation? * * * Bargain not with the Darkness: in time it will take us all. Exerpted from The Book of Nod ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/76 "2000-04-27T20:47:00Z")
Oh Great Swimming I have been so good for so long I feel I deserve a Sainthood (Miss Goody Two- Shoes is a sort of boring name) Might you give me my designation? * * * Bargain not with the Darkness: in time it will take us all. Exerpted from The Book of Nod ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/77 "2000-04-27T20:53:00Z")
Oh Great Swimming I have been so good for so long I feel I deserve a Sainthood (Miss Goody Two- Shoes is a sort of boring name) Might you give me my designation? * * * Bargain not with the Darkness: in time it will take us all. Exerpted from The Book of Nod ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/78 "2000-04-27T22:25:00Z")
Oooh! Ooooh! Can I be cannonized too, please? I’m not Catholic, but being sainted will surely make up for the dissappointment I feel when I realize that I can’t get myself excommunicated. Pretty please make me saint of something? * * * “It seemed like a good idea at the time… …but then again, so did the atomic bomb.” -Charles Sismondo ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/79 "2000-04-27T23:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Bless us, St. Narile: She Might Be the Patron Saint of Agnostics. Then again, She Might Not Be. _looks down at self._ Oh my goodness, I’ve had a sex change and didn’t even realize it!! I know that being overwieght gives guys a larger chest, but still… 😛 * * * \>\>Threads killed, no questions asked, just give me the payment, and I’ll post to it…the kiss of death of late.\<\< —The dragon observes ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536/80 "2000-04-27T23:05:00Z")
I never thought I’d say this, but, I want to be a saint. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-patron-saint-designation-by-swimming-riddles/16536.md?page=5)