# Your perfect burger **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 9, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281 "2012-02-09T05:33:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/1 "2012-02-09T05:33:32Z")
I just made myself nearly the perfect burger. From bottom to top: Warm sesame bun grilled on the inside only. Schmear of mayo. Layer of crinkle-cut dill pickles. Thin-sliced tomato. Fresh lettuce that I bought from a farm. 1/4 lb burger, ground from a fatty cut of steak. Jalapeno slices. Ketchup. French’s mustard. Top of warm sesame bun grilled on the inside only. The only thing that would have made it better would have been fried onions and marinating the burger in hickory smoke BBQ sauce. Still, there’s always dinner. What’s yours? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/2 "2012-02-09T05:41:06Z")
sesame bun angus beef patty bleu cheese bacon angus beef patty blue cheese onion tomato jalapeno bun ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/3 "2012-02-09T05:46:07Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > bleu cheese French. > [@](#): > > blue cheese Danish? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/4 "2012-02-09T05:46:44Z")
I like my standby. From top to bottom: bun yellow mustard tomato aged cheddar patty ketchup bbq sauce diced onion dill pickle (cut lengthwise, 2 slices) bun It’s surprisingly difficult to find decent pre-made patties here in Edmonton. I’m not sure why. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/5 "2012-02-09T05:48:33Z")
Pretty basic for me: botton of a bulkie roll, a soft tradional bakery roll spicy brown mustard 1/2 lb. fatty ground chuck crisp on the top and bottom, medium rare in the middle 1 slice of Land of Lakes american cheese 2 full strips of bacon, not quite crisp top of a bulkie roll ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/6 "2012-02-09T05:51:11Z")
Bun Yellow mustard Ground chuck patty, 1/4 to 1/3 pound before cooking 1 slice American cheese, which was placed on the patty as it was finishing its cooking, so the cheese melts Mayonnaise, not salad dressing, mayo Bun On occasion I’ll put dill pickle chips, but I prefer my burgers to be quite simple. If I don’t add pickles, then I’ll probably salt the burger. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/7 "2012-02-09T05:53:27Z")
I’m more of a burger minimalist. My favorite is probably a double cheeseburger made with two 1/6 lb or 1/8 lb patties, with American cheese or Merkt’s cheddar spread, griddled onions, dill pickles, ketchup, and mustard on a squishy white bun. I like some of the fancy-ass burgers from time to time, but nothing beats the classic for me. And keep your mayo off my burger (with the sole exception of the mayo that’s in In-N-Out’s burger sauce.) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/8 "2012-02-09T05:58:35Z")
What about Big Mac special sauce? I believe that has a mayo base. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/9 "2012-02-09T06:03:45Z")
Big Mac special sauce belongs only on a Big Mac; and McDonald’s burgers IMO aren’t really in the same food category as true burgers. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but it’s kinds of an apples and oranges comparison. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/10 "2012-02-09T06:08:00Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Big Mac special sauce belongs only on a Big Mac; and McDonald’s burgers IMO aren’t really in the same food category as true burgers. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but it’s kinds of an apples and oranges comparison. Yeah, I’ll eat a Big Mac on the road because I know what I’ll be getting. But if you asked me when the last time I ate a hamburger was, I wouldn’t count those. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/11 "2012-02-09T06:14:15Z")
Sesame seed bun grilled onions olive burger (good ground beef, mixed with chopped green olives, a packet of Lipton onion soup mix and a couple shakes of Worchestershire sauce, grilled outside, preferably) baby swiss cheese top bun Heaven on a bun! ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/12 "2012-02-09T06:14:17Z")
Hearty bun Ketchup and yellow mustard OR my own special sauce I made up with mayo/mustard/cayenne Ground chuck burger 1/4 or 1/3 lb before cooked Tillamook sharp cheddar, thick slice, put on cold NOT melted on the burger Dill pickle slices - lots ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/13 "2012-02-09T06:30:19Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > What about Big Mac special sauce? I believe that has a mayo base. When I go to McD’s, it’s usually double cheeseburger or McDouble for me. Or quarter pounder with cheese. I can’t remember the last time I had a Big Mac. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/14 "2012-02-09T06:35:39Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Yeah, I’ll eat a Big Mac on the road because I know what I’ll be getting. But if you asked me when the last time I ate a hamburger was, I wouldn’t count those. In what universe is McDonald’s not a perfectly cromulent hamburger? For fast-food style burgers, they’re adequate. Nothing to go out of your way for, but nothing so far removed from a fast-food hamburger to be its own category. The real abomination is that dreck that is Burger King. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/15 "2012-02-09T06:36:14Z")
Bottom bun, lightly grilled Burger Olive & mayo sauce (mix: 1 tbs mayo, 1 tsp of olive brine, a dash of coarse black pepper, 1/4 tsp chili powder, 5 finely diced green olives with pimentos) Top bun (sesame), lightly grilled This is a good old fashioned West Michigan olive burger, and it is my favorite thing in the world to eat. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/16 "2012-02-09T06:44:53Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > In what universe is McDonald’s not a perfectly cromulent hamburger? For fast-food style burgers, they’re adequate. Nothing to go out of your way for, but nothing so far removed from a fast-food hamburger to be its own category. The real abomination is that dreck that is Burger King. You can hardly taste the burger in a Big Mac. That’s why the Special Sauce is on it. Yes, Burger King should have been banned in the Geneva Conventions, but that doesn’t improve the flavor of a Big Mac. It’s essential lack of flavor makes it a Special Sauce sandwich, and the burger is some kind insignificant condiment. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/17 "2012-02-09T06:47:52Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You can hardly taste the burger in a Big Mac. That’s why the Special Sauce is on it. Yes, Burger King should have been banned in the Geneva Conventions, but that doesn’t improve the flavor of a Big Mac. It’s essential lack of flavor makes it a Special Sauce sandwich, and the burger is some kind insignificant condiment. Fair enough, I should have realized you were specifically railing against the Big Mac. I have no real qualms with that. The reason I stay away from the Big Mac myself is for reasons similar to yours, but for me it’s not really the special sauce angle as much as it is the extra layer of bun. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/18 "2012-02-09T07:25:49Z")
My perfect burger has no bun. Just a well seasoned meat patty, melted cheese on top, maybe some tomato sauce, on a plate with a fork. And of course a Bombay Sapphire martini on the side. Mmmm, mmm, good…TRM (low-carb enthusiast) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/19 "2012-02-09T09:00:03Z")
> [@](#): > > grilled outside, preferably This improves the flavor of every food that I’ve tasted. I vastly prefer burgers that are grilled outside, but if that’s not an option, I’ll cook them inside in a skillet. Also, those food baskets for the grill are wonderful. We have a small one that has plenty of room for about four burger patties in it, and that’s more than what we need most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2012, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281/20 "2012-02-09T09:55:46Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I’m more of a burger minimalist. My favorite is probably a double cheeseburger made with two 1/6 lb or 1/8 lb patties, with American cheese or Merkt’s cheddar spread, griddled onions, dill pickles, ketchup, and mustard on a squishy white bun. > > I like some of the fancy-ass burgers from time to time, but nothing beats the classic for me. And keep your mayo off my burger (with the sole exception of the mayo that’s in In-N-Out’s burger sauce.) Same here. I don’t really go for an overly complex burger. I also don’t like fresh tomato (it is a texture thing, I love tomato in stuff and can eat purée from the tube). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-perfect-burger/612281.md?page=2)