# Your Personal Crazy/Irrational Theories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743 "2006-04-29T15:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/81 "2006-05-04T03:14:39Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > There’s a small Federal Department that watches me, and evaluates how much I like products. If they think I like it too much, it is immediately discontinued, or changed to make it less appealing. Very close to my theory that the likelihood of an item in the store being discontinued is directly proportional to how much I like it. I’ve never forgiven Knudsen for discontinuing prune yogurt, and I’m certain they did it just to spite me! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/82 "2006-05-04T05:51:57Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > That hand lotion that wasn’t too greasy or too smelly? Gone. Try the Cetaphil brand. I use it on my dry, cracky feet all the time. It’s great! Not greasy, and doesn’t smell like anything at all. > [@AskNott](#): > > Mud and curbs are subtly mobile, and they are attracted to newly shined shoes. Curbs follow you? > [@Sampiro](#): > > I believe that cats think in Hebrew, except for Manx cats who think only in English haikus. Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/83 "2006-05-04T11:32:48Z")
> [@davenportavenger](#): > > And they do this to distract the public’s attention away from more important, real conspiracies. Yes, I saw that Duckman episode too. I thought everyone knew that JFK was assassinated by a future version of himself after the _Red Dwarf_ crew accidentally pushed Oswald out the window of the Texas Book Repository, and had to get the Future JFK to come back and assassinate himself so that the Space Programme would continue and the _Red Dwarf_ (and thusly, _Starbug_) would eventually be built… ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/84 "2006-05-04T11:59:09Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > Try the Cetaphil brand. I use it on my dry, cracky feet all the time. It’s great! Not greasy, and doesn’t smell like anything at all. Okay, but if I like it, don’t blame me when it is ‘reformulated’ or discontinued. Those guys are still watching me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/85 "2006-05-12T11:19:46Z")
At the risk of dredging up a too-long-dead thread, I thought I should post this before I forget again. Please forgive me. I have a personal theory that, if you kill a ghost, the person it came from will come back to life. Granted, there are some practical problems with _testing_ this out—it’s notoriously hard to double-kill the noncorporial undead…plus, ghosts don’t actually exist—but that’s not _my_ department. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/86 "2006-05-12T11:44:03Z")
I was just thinking of this thread, what with the World Cup coming up. My friend was convinced that Germany had taken a dive in the final match of the '98 WC against France. When asked why they would do that, he could only come up with “they’ll get some kind of favor in return.” We laughed, but then shortly afterwards they announced who’d be hosting the 2006 World Cup… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/87 "2006-05-12T14:23:13Z")
Someone mentioned socks and dryers earlier. Here’s my theory: Socks don’t get lost in dryers. The truth is, the dryers are being framed. By who, you ask? Answer: The washing machines. Seriously, how many times have you counted your socks between the washer and the dryer? Never, I bet. And the washers know this. It’s the perfect crime! ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/88 "2006-05-12T14:31:42Z")
There’s perhaps some truth to that. You ever notice that there’s a gap between the washer tub and the body of the washing machine? And the top of the tub isn’t connected to anything? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/89 "2006-05-12T14:40:21Z")
**An Arky** Let’s not introduce logic here. It will only get in our way. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/90 "2006-05-12T15:22:55Z")
I think I’ve posted this in another thread, but I think Steely Dan and Van Morrison are the same person/band/whatever. And I think Tiffany Amber Theisen and Yasmine Bleeth are the same person. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/91 "2006-05-12T20:51:59Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > “I believe that gay white men occur when straight black women reincarnate too quickly.”- my friend Tim Ya know, girlfriend, that would explain a lot! Tell Tim thanks for that tidbit. He must be a wise man…and I bet he is faaabulous on the dance floor. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/92 "2006-05-12T20:56:55Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > Men can’t find things because of the way humans evolved. Women are more adapted to finding items because, as gatherers, they had to remember where the berry bushes were located, and be able to find edible roots among patches of useless vegetation. Men had only to locate game on the spot and kill it, thus their brains did not develop as sharp an ability to remember where articles are, or to be able to spot the ketchup among all of the other bottles in the fridge. Come on, Lissa, don’t sell yourself short! That isn’t a crackpot theory…that is scientific fact! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/93 "2006-05-13T08:36:08Z")
State of Origin Rugby League is fixed. This is a diehard favourite theory of mine I will go to my grave believing. mm ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/94 "2006-05-13T23:48:46Z")
> [@mamboman](#): > > State of Origin Rugby League is fixed. This is a diehard favourite theory of mine I will go to my grave believing. Even though I despise all forms of Rugby with a fiery, burning, irrational loathing and intense hatred, I agree with you on this one. There’s just something about the whole thing that screams “Rigged!” to me, and if I ever manage to get a hold of the winners list for the next few years, I’ll let you know… after I’ve gotten back from the TAB. 😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/95 "2006-05-14T00:04:20Z")
What on earth are you people talking about? ---
**Author:** ![AuntPam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AuntPam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntPam)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/96 "2006-05-14T21:06:41Z")
Whenever Kodak was having a bad year, they would pay Trojan to make defective condoms: there are more pictures taken of first babies than any other subject in the world. Rap music is a racist right-wing plot–by offering huge wads of money to stupid, greedy, and often vicious people to demean themselves in public, the racists can say “See, we told you so–They (you know which THEY) are really like that.” On a related subject–the custom of having deafeningly loud, thumping-bass music at wedding receptions–where a substantial majority of the attendees will be older relatives–is sponsored and encouraged by hearing aid companies. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/97 "2006-05-14T23:14:09Z")
PETA is mostly funded by the meat and firearm industries; it’s key leaders may well be _agents provocateurs._ ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/98 "2006-05-15T10:46:19Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > What on earth are you people talking about? [State of Origin Rugby League](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_of_Origin) is a big three game series played between Queensland and New South Wales each year. Inevitibly the team which loses the first game will win the second, leaving “the game of the century” as the showdown decider. It’s gettin’ kinda old… mm ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/99 "2006-05-15T11:57:39Z")
I believe that Organic Fruit and Veggies are from the same Monsanto Farms as the ones covered in pestisides, just marked up with a higher price. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/100 "2006-05-15T15:09:06Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > There is a race of aliens among us who possess the ability to always appear neat, wrinkle free, well groomed and clean. They come from the planet Immaculon 7, and are impervious to sweat, wind, and dry cleaning bills. They are here to make me feel shabby and remind me that I have bad hair. This actually meshes quite nicely with my own theory that _every single being_ appearing on a Sylvan Learning Center commercial is an alien! Now I know which planet, exactly, they come from. Thanks! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743.md?page=6)