# Your Personal Crazy/Irrational Theories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743 "2006-04-29T15:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/101 "2006-05-15T16:07:12Z")
> [@mamboman](#): > > State of Origin Rugby League is a big three game series played between Queensland and New South Wales each year. Inevitibly the team which loses the first game will win the second, leaving “the game of the century” as the showdown decider. > > It’s gettin’ kinda old… OK, but what’s the TAB? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/102 "2006-05-15T16:20:49Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > Sorry you forgot, but [here’s](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7353250&postcount=44) your most recent crazy/irrational thread. That’s not crazy… it’s Catholic dogma… What? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/103 "2006-05-15T20:02:37Z")
My crazy theory is this: You know how back in history, people were superstitious about comets and considered them omens of bad fortune. Well, I say that in the remote past, an advanced world civilization was destroyed by the impact of a comet, much like in _Lucifer’s Hammer_, and the uneasiness about comets that our more recent ancestors felt had its origins the memories and legends of this real catastrophe. I don’t really think this, but think it would make a great SF premise or concept. Feel free to use it, because I can’t write fiction to save my hide. ---
**Author:** ![jawdirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@jawdirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jawdirk)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/104 "2006-05-15T20:10:46Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > 1. Anything - literally _anything_ - can be a runaway success if enough marketing dollars are put behind it. I think that people are truly so impressionable when it comes to marketing that literally anything - a soda based around bull semen, a bug-based candy, the ugliest and least talented actor that ever lived, the most medicore bar band playing at that dive around the corner - could be made into a mass, Britney Spears-level success. This is true, but you have to think a little farther to get to the obvious conclusion. Since literally anything can be a runaway success if enough marketing dollars are put behind it, they generally choose to market “nothing,” because that is the cheapest. For example, the whole “Britney Spears” phenomenon was “nothing,” that just happened to be marketed using a pop star spokeswoman. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/105 "2006-05-15T23:00:50Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > My crazy theory is this: You know how back in history, people were superstitious about comets and considered them omens of bad fortune. Well, I say that in the remote past, an advanced world civilization was destroyed by the impact of a comet, much like in _Lucifer’s Hammer_, and the uneasiness about comets that our more recent ancestors felt had its origins the memories and legends of this real catastrophe. > > I don’t really think this, but think it would make a great SF premise or concept. Feel free to use it, because I can’t write fiction to save my hide. You’ve never heard of Velikovsky or Worlds In Collision? ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/106 "2006-05-16T01:23:21Z")
> [@jimmmy](#): > > No matter what the NFL Redskins do ~80% of the National Press will flop around like they are choking on a peice of fish in a restaurant over how crazy and amateurish it is. > > They do this because they flat out, hate the owner at a very personal level. Never mind that he has turned the Redskins into the western hemisphere’s number 1 most valuable sports franchise and a top 5 world wide most valuable sports franchise, single-handedly mind you – well that’s neither here nor there – he is the “boy billionaire”, a meddler, “difficult” and a dilettante and any signing the Redskins make is questionable and crazy and they all pile on. It is overkill and obnoxious. Why Mr. Snyder, I had no idea you posted on the SDMB! ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/107 "2006-05-16T06:33:35Z")
> [@WVmom](#): > > You know how, when you’re a little kid, time seems to go sooo slowly. “In a minute” takes forever, “an hour or two” lasts for days, and you know that “next year” will never come. Then, as you get older, things start to speed up… Therefore, that 80-year-old you see driving about 10 miles an hour down the interstate is really going about 75, once you adjust for the “time flies” factor. In a way, this is true. That 80-year old has gotten more slow at processing data. Data like how fast another car is approaching, how fast the roadsigns fly by, etc. He’s driving slowly, because, in that way, the stimuli on the road come at him with the same speed they did when he was younger. He feels he’s driving 100 km per hour when in reality he’s driving 80. ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/108 "2006-05-16T09:21:26Z")
I’m actually a character in a teen novel. I think I’m the main character, what with my general lameness and social awkwardness. I’m okay with this; everything’s going to get better in the closing chapters. America isn’t real, it’s a cautionary tale England invented for Australia. The percentage of black jellybeans/ banana fruitbursts in packs of lollies is COMPETELY disproportionate to the percentage of the population that actually like these flavours. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/109 "2006-05-16T10:16:45Z")
_X-Files_ creator Chris Carter and _Wheel of Time_ author Robert Jordan are in fact the same person. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/110 "2006-05-16T10:28:23Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > OK, but what’s the TAB? Totaliser Agency Board- The Bookies, if you will. Gambling (and sports betting) are legal in Australia, so the TAB is a place where you go to place bets on sporting events, horse races, and greyhound races etc. (It’s not the same as a Casino, but nearly all decent pubs and Casinos will have a TAB in them). ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/111 "2006-05-16T16:47:18Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > You’ve never heard of Velikovsky or Worlds In Collision? I’ve heard of them, but does the novel specifically refer to a prehistoric catastrophe and subsequent myths and superstitions? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/112 "2006-05-16T17:47:56Z")
Worlds In Collision was not a novel. Velikovsky never claimed to write fiction. He insisted that he was documenting scientific fact. [http://skepdic.com/velikov.html](http://skepdic.com/velikov.html) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/113 "2006-05-16T18:49:39Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > Curbs follow you? No, but they see me coming. Just as the light changes, and I’m looking around for traffic, they deftly move enough to scuff my shoe. Clever boot-maulers! ---
**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/114 "2006-05-16T19:48:57Z")
> [@](#): > > For about $22.50, teeth can be thoroughly cleaned, and then coated with a simple plastic film and you would never get another cavity or have plak for the rest of your life, making dentists unnecessary. I believe it. When they clean your teeth and poke the sharp thingy into your tooth to “test” for cavities they put a hole in your enamel and actually cause a cavity to form > [@](#): > > The FDA is trying to make and keep everyone fat, so that the fitness industry can take all of our money. This is not a crazy theory, it’s true, they put chemicals in the food to make us more hungry and addicted to the bad stuff (ie. MSG) to make us fatter and therefore eat more food. They hate us. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/115 "2006-05-16T20:55:20Z")
> [@jimmmy](#): > > No matter what the NFL Redskins do ~80% of the National Press will flop around like they are choking on a peice of fish in a restaurant over how crazy and amateurish it is. This 'Skins fan is having a lot of fun with that image. > [@theunfounddoor](#): > > They hate us. But they sure lurve our money! ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/116 "2006-05-17T08:55:14Z")
> [@manx](#): > > I’m actually a character in a teen novel. I think I’m the main character, what with my general lameness and social awkwardness. I’m okay with this; everything’s going to get better in the closing chapters. Heh, just wait 'til you find out your author is Chuck Palahniuk. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/117 "2006-05-17T09:13:25Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Come on, Lissa, don’t sell yourself short! That isn’t a crackpot theory…that is scientific fact! 🙂 Absolutely, and there are several other aspects of human behaviour explained thereby: Time sense: Men keep schedules to within a few minutes because you have to be on the deer trail at _dawn_ when the deer go by, not half an hour later. Women are adapted to the idea that berries will ripen in a certain _month_. Colour: Men need to be able to distinguish a deer from its background. This does not require sophisticated colour vocabulary. Women need to assess and convey information about berries’ exact state of ripeness and health, which is why they have names for colours that men can’t even _see_, such as “taupe” and “puce”. Talking: Silence is a virtue for a hunter. For a berry picker, constant chatter keeps predators at a safe distance (those who’ve learned that human meat has sharp edges), and after all, you can’t scare a berry away. Being able to talk incessantly about nothing at all is a survival characteristic. Asking directions: Men need to be able to read the countryside and navigate solo. Bears and deer seldom volunteer information and any human you encounter is probably a stranger who will not welcome you on his hunting range. Women, operating closer to home, have no problem asking another tribeswoman “Where was that huge lingonberry patch that was nearly ripe two weeks ago?”. Shopping: Berry pickers can flit from bush to bush checking to see which are the biggest and ripest and will best repay the time spent actually picking. The berries won’t run away. Hunters will look at a pheasant and decide it’s _good enough_ and let it have it. It’s no use looking around for a better one and expecting the first one still to be there when you come back. Elimination: Faeces are pungent-smelling and make good territory markers. If you want to appropriate hunting range from a rival tribe, a good way to do this is to drop a marker in enemy territory. The bigger and smellier this is, the better. It’s a good idea to go armed while you do this. Completing such a mission is a favour to the tribe and a mark of courage, and should be advertised. This explains why men can’t take a dump empty-handed (a newspaper will do if you don’t have a flint spear), why they make such a smell, and why they take such pride in it. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2006, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/118 "2006-05-17T11:46:10Z")
My girlfriend has a theory that humans are attracted to partners who are different to them so that the offspring are a nice average. For example, tall men find short women so their children are of average height (and therefore not too tall or short to compete on the evolutionary playing field). Fussy eaters pair up with people who will eat anything so their offspring are not too extreme one way or the other (disadvantaging their chances of reproduction). Impulsive, emotional people get together with stable, thoughtful people who consider their actions - thus keeping the impulsive one in check (and the offspring will be moderate). This list of attributes is non-exhaustive, and the olive thing already mentioned is a subset of this theory. Therefore, rather than small groups of people evolving in one direction or another, short people fancying short people and tall people being attracted to tall people (creating two dissimilar species), the entire race evolves together with homogeneity ensured. This theory is based on a sample of one couple (me and her), there is little evidence that all these things have a genetic (and therefore hereditary) basis, and there does seem to be evidence against it (pygmy and incredibly tall tribes in Africa, for example). Doesn’t stop her believing it, though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/119 "2006-05-18T01:05:11Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Colour: Men need to be able to distinguish a deer from its background. This does not require sophisticated colour vocabulary. Women need to assess and convey information about berries’ exact state of ripeness and health, which is why they have names for colours that men can’t even _see_, such as “taupe” and “puce”. It’s amazing, in the modern era of firearms, telescopic sights, GPS systems, and so forth how many hunters still have trouble differentiating between a Deer/Wild Pig/Other Game and “Another Hunter”, unless the other hunter is wearing Day-Glo Orange Camouflage (and even then, accidents happen, unfortunately). It’s a non-issue around here because there’s a LOT of land to hunt on and not all that many people hunting it, but I’m told parts of the US are like Disneyland on the first weekend of Hunting Season and Day-Glo Camouflage is a must unless you want to be shot at… ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743/120 "2006-05-18T12:18:32Z")
I’m a sports jinx. I was born in Chicago in late July, 1969, so I feel personally responsible for the Cubs blowing the pennant that year. So I lived in Chicago until '82 and what happens when I move? The Bears win the Super Bowl and the Bulls actually start winning. What happens the minute I arrive in San Diego? (1) I killed Air Coryell and the Chargers start to suck. (2) The Clippers leave town. (3) First the Padres steal the pennant from my Cubs, and then of course blow the series. So then in '93 I move to Los Angeles. (1) The Lakers start to suck for a while. (2) The Rams and Raiders leave town. (3) The Padres and Chargers start winning now that I’m gone from San Diego. Through it all, the one Chicago team that I’ve really stuck with, the Cubs, still haven’t won a pennant, and it’s all my fault. When they got too close, the government sent in Agent Bartman to fuck with me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-personal-crazy-irrational-theories/354743.md?page=7)