# Your Porn Stash **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2006, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589 "2006-01-12T00:28:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/21 "2006-01-12T04:37:01Z")
I have a CD wallet full of VCDs and DVDRs labeled as \*nix distros and web development software from the last decade. “Oh yeah, Redhat 4.1 – that’s the one with Japanese girl who inexplicably carries on a cellphone conversation with some grumpy-sounding guy while she takes on two nerds. That’s a good one.” Steganographic pornographic fantastic. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/22 "2006-01-12T04:39:50Z")
I removed the baseboard from the back of my closet, removed the lower couple inches of the wall, and created a hiding place nobody would ever find. Not even one summer, when I was at Boy Scout camp and my father decided to paint my bedroom. :eek: He just nailed the baseboard in place and painted over it. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/23 "2006-01-12T04:48:59Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > For the longest time, my best friend and I had a deal: if one of us died while still living with her parents, the other would do her best to purge all of the porn and/or pot from the dead girl’s bedroom before her parents found it. She was the only one who knew where _all_ of my stashes and keys and things were, and vice-versa. 🙂 Ah, the Porn Buddy System. Adam Carolla would be so proud, that it’s between girls is all the more exciting! ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/24 "2006-01-12T04:49:21Z")
I didn’t bother acquiring a collection until I was out on my own, and a drawer and my computer hold it all. My high school boyfriend, however, had a HUGE collection of magazines that he simply kept in his old wooden toybox with comforters stacked on top. His mother discovered it and they were all thrown out. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/25 "2006-01-12T05:00:11Z")
Videos (recorded from late-night Cinemax) were on a tape labelled “Mystery Science Theater 3000”. Not so boring for anyone to wonder why it appeared to have been viewed so often, but something my parents had absolutely no interest in watching. It also helped that MST3K was on late at night, so I always had an answer if they noticed that the VCR timer had been on (I was also the only one who knew how to program the VCR). I had two magazines (Penthouse), that I kept in a dresser in the middle of a pile of MAD and Popular Science magazines. Computer stuff may as well have been dropped to the bottom of the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/26 "2006-01-12T05:06:21Z")
Didn’t have to “stash” National Geographic! 😃 (Okay, really it was in an old log I made a “fort” out of.) ---
**Author:** ![BluePitbull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@BluePitbull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BluePitbull)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/27 "2006-01-12T05:30:14Z")
Well, I buy a Maxim, now and then. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/28 "2006-01-12T05:54:42Z")
I used to swipe my dad’s out of his sock drawer and hide it under my bed. But this is the good part: _he’d sneak in and steal it back!!_ Nothing was ever said by anyone, just back and forth. How sick is that?! BTW: I’m a girl. My dad had some truly disturbing hardcore stuff mixed in there, too ::shudder:: I tried not to think about what his “thing” might be. :eek: \<-- blue love doll _snicker_ ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/29 "2006-01-12T06:02:33Z")
In the early 90s, I worked at Rushcutters Bay in Sydney. This is a five minute stroll from Kings Cross, the red light district, and also the place where we’d get off the train to come to work. I had a friend (really - it wasn’t me!) who was a total porn freak, and used to buy magazines on the way to work, rip them out of the paper bag and read them in the staff toilets, and then roll them up and stick them in his hip pocket. The top half of the mag would be sticking out, but he’d wear a jacket, and you couldn’t see it - until… one day he forgot the magazine was in his pocket and he bent over to pick something up. Of course, his jacket rode up, and the magazine sprang out, so that when he straightened up again, it was on the outside of the jacket. “Aaaah, Vince! Dude…” “What?” “Everybody can see your porno.” “What? No they can’t… OH FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/30 "2006-01-12T09:16:07Z")
> [@](#): > > I had a friend (really - it wasn’t me!) who was a total porn freak, and used to buy magazines on the way to work, rip them out of the paper bag and read them in the staff toilets, and then roll them up and stick them in his hip pocket. “Dude, where’s your porn stash?” “It’s in my pants…heh heh heh” ---
**Author:** ![DfrntBreign](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@DfrntBreign](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DfrntBreign)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/31 "2006-01-12T09:56:27Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > When I was 17, I pretty much took care of my own stuff. Isn’t that kinda what porn is for? 🙂 A friend gave me a book a long time ago called “A Child’s Garden Of Grass”. It contained an entire chapter on hiding your stash. The one I’ll always remember: **7. Throwing your stash up in the air.** _Works very well for a short time._ ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/32 "2006-01-12T10:36:28Z")
I give my condolences to the mods who have to read this thread. 😃 Adam ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/33 "2006-01-12T10:46:30Z")
I kept my pot and cigarettes inside a metal globe of the world at the bottom of a closet. I dropped it one day and the two halves detached, and I realised this was the ideal hiding place. I kept my porn in my brother’s closet without his knowledge, because I was a bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/34 "2006-01-12T11:22:27Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I kept my porn in my brother’s closet without his knowledge, because I was a bastard. Thats great! ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/35 "2006-01-12T13:08:27Z")
I took the backs off of my speakers, applied velcro for easy access, and kept my porn mags in there. Naturally, because of the magnets in the speakers, I couldn’t keep video tapes in there, but I velcro’d the case boxes to the outside back of my dresser drawers. This way, when the drawer was pulled out far enough for clothes, the cases were still hidden, and would only be discovered if the drawers were removed completely from the dresser. As far as the speakers go, I really went the extra mile on them: I was terrified of getting caught, so I ground off the threads from the screws and then glued the screw heads back over the screw holes. Made it look like the backs were still screwed on instead of velcro’d. ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/36 "2006-01-12T14:41:11Z")
We keep a stash right now (porn, toys, etc.) To keep our kids out of it, we have it all stashed in a large cube chest with a lock on it. The chest is kept in the living room and used as an end table. It makes for some interesting ‘across the room’ looks when we’re entertaining. 🙂 As fr when I was younger…well, I went to boarding school, and one shelf in the dorm’s communal library had nothing but porn. Amazingly, there was very little theft of materials- everyone just borrowed and returned them. Anyone taking them when they left (we all had our favorite volumes) added another to the collection. Three cheers for the honor system! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/37 "2006-01-12T14:54:42Z")
One lounge on the dorm floor I lived in as an undregrad had a large cardboard box on the floor into which went all the random Playboys and Penthouses. It was called “The Smut Box”, and it was viewed as a communal resource. Until they needed cash for a party one day, and they auctioned it off. Yeah, I lived on a coed floor. I think there were some Playgirls in it, too. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/38 "2006-01-12T15:31:11Z")
When I was a youth, most of the porn got stashed in piles of other magazines. Until I got married, my cousin had the passwords and locations of the computer files so he could clean them out before the computer got sold. Now, of course, the wife has those passwords. What’s fun is that she occasionally…adds to the files. Did I marry a winner or what? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/39 "2006-01-12T16:17:02Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > Ah, the Porn Buddy System. Adam Carolla would be so proud, that it’s between girls is all the more exciting! Thanks! 😃 I’m no longer friends with that girl, and now that I’m a grownup and living on my own I alternate between caring what people find in my house after I die and not really giving a shit (mostly it’s the latter). I can imagine working out a similar buddy system with my current best friend, though it wouldn’t be as exciting because he’s a guy. 😉 > [@DfrntBreign](#): > > A friend gave me a book a long time ago called “A Child’s Garden Of Grass”. HOLY SHIT! My friends and I used to have cassette tapes of that! I’d completely forgotten about it! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589/40 "2006-01-12T17:14:54Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Ha, you want to feel _really_ old? I say more or less the same thing to people younger than me. “Dedicated porn websites with streaming video? Kids today. We had to make do with swapping low-resolution gifs over all-text BBS that we connected to with our 24.4 dial-up modems! And we _liked_ it!” Damn right we did! Aside from that, most of my early porn was leaflets handed out on the streets of Vegas. I have (had?) one Playboy, which featured the cousin of someone I was interested in. It came in handy when I moved and had no cable, DVD, VCR, or Internet. I used to hide it from my parents, but after a while I stopped caring, and it has since disappeared. Grr. My copy of Spiderbabe is still around, and resides in plain sight with the rest of my DVDs. Everything else is on an external HD thats stays home (I have an iBook, and my parents are computer illiterate). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-porn-stash/339589.md?page=3)