# Your private, off the wall theories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 5, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963 "2012-05-05T06:39:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/81 "2012-05-09T19:36:10Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > It’s in Wikipedia, so it must be true. By the tabloid standard of truth; i.e., it’s true someone claimed that. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/82 "2012-05-09T19:59:27Z")
Our species is conscious in the plural; it mulls things over across the course of a few hundred years, clarifies its thinking, etc. The individuals of our species, despite the illusion of independent individual thinking, mostly only contribute very tiny variations, little nudges in the direction fo one or another already-existing pattern of thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/83 "2012-05-09T20:03:16Z")
I’ve spelled this out here on this board before… Airplanes can’t really fly. I mean, c’mon, they’re the size of a building, weigh tons, but because they have flat parts that stick out a certain way, and they go a few dozen miles per hour they can float in the air? Y’sure, tell me another one. I believe that someone is going to get ahold of the Wright brothers original calculations and redo them - they’re going to discover that on page 148, in column 3, that they forget to carry the 7, and consequently all of their calculations were faulty. At the exact moment that is discovered, every plane aloft will immediately cease to be able to fly. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/84 "2012-05-09T20:44:14Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > I’ve spelled this out here on this board before… > > Airplanes can’t really fly. I mean, c’mon, they’re the size of a building, weigh tons, but because they have flat parts that stick out a certain way, and they go a few dozen miles per hour they can float in the air? Y’sure, tell me another one. > > I believe that someone is going to get ahold of the Wright brothers original calculations and redo them - they’re going to discover that on page 148, in column 3, that they forget to carry the 7, and consequently all of their calculations were faulty. At the exact moment that is discovered, every plane aloft will immediately cease to be able to fly. :eek: Well, I for one believe in your theory, you’re speaking from experience. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/85 "2012-05-09T20:56:51Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Our species is conscious in the plural; it mulls things over across the course of a few hundred years, clarifies its thinking, etc. > > The individuals of our species, despite the illusion of independent individual thinking, mostly only contribute very tiny variations, little nudges in the direction fo one or another already-existing pattern of thinking. That’s fascinating. To me, it’s little more implausible than consciousness itself, which exists among thousands of individual cells, none of which can lay claim to their own consciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/86 "2012-05-09T21:01:53Z")
> [@fumster](#): > > I still hold that the Gulf is Mexico is an impact crater, despite no scientific evidence to back it up. +1 Its the one that killed all the donosaurs (anyone else remember when the dinosaurs were supposed to have been killed by some sort of superplague?) > [@even\_sven](#): > > I believe that reliance on cars is the main driver of obesity. I think a lot of weight is determined not by trips to the gym or concentrated activity, but by the sorts of seamless, constant, low-level activity that was once a part of daily life. We’ve lost a lot the “easy” ways to keep in motion, largely because people rarely walk routinely. Have you seen the portion sizes at cheescake factory? Especially the portion size of their cheesecake? Now compare it to portion sizes in places like Italy and France. That has got to account for some of it too. > [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Well I do like Ferraris, fish & chips, and Napoleon… 😛 And who is the famoious German romantic/lover you would like to point out to us? > [@Koxinga](#): > > Another theory I posted a while back: [The Elves killed Isuldur](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=2753912). Not a modicum of evidence in the Professor’s writings AFAIK, but still, it makes sense, darn it! Makes sense. Never trust an elf. > [@Lumpy](#): > > IQ scores keep going up because cesarian section now allows children whose heads would have been too big to be born survive. I think average heights are increasing because of all the hormones we pump into our meat. I think that allergies are increasing as a result of all the anti-biotics we pump into our meat. I think autism and learning diabilities are highly overdiagnosed largely as a result of parents who don’t want to admit that their kids are stupid. ---
**Author:** ![papaford81](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@papaford81](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papaford81)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/87 "2012-05-10T01:53:06Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Hardly a new concept. Here are some Wikipedia links: > > [Social cycle theory - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_cycle_theory) > [Cyclical theory (United States history) - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclical_theory) > [Edward R. Dewey - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_cycles) > > It’s a favorite model of Marxists, proto-Nazis and Henry Kissinger. Either from the point of view that “Let’s destroy stuff to start another cycle.” or “_Those people_ are making our wonderful society decline.” Or both. This is why i love wikipedia. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/88 "2012-05-10T02:05:24Z")
Not the same concept I had in mind, though. What I was thinking of was purely descriptive, i.e., this is what’s happening no matter what you do, and no one is really to blame for it – it’s just a macro aspect of human nature. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/89 "2012-05-10T04:24:21Z")
ADD is correlated with microwaved food. People with Schizophrenia are “the chosen ones.” Autism is connected with something caused by people–chemicals, foods, technology, something… This is embarrassing and cathartic all at once. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/90 "2012-05-10T05:49:47Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > You’re a [little bit right](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicxulub_crater). > > Personally, I think Oswald was the lone assassin. No conspiracy. However, if there had been a conspiracy, I’d bet money that LBJ was involved in some manner. Nope. Hoover. In both Kennedy shootings. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/91 "2012-05-10T12:37:09Z")
Goldfish are humans who masturbated too much, reincarnated ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/92 "2012-05-10T13:58:03Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > ADD is correlated with microwaved food. [QUOTE=living\_in\_hell] Autism is connected with something caused by people–chemicals, foods, technology, something… [/QUOTE] Could it be . . . microwaved food? ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/93 "2012-05-10T14:09:26Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > All side effects of perscription drugs are built into them for the sole purpose of selling more perscription drugs. The drug industry does not give a damn about people, only about profits, and this is the easiest way to increase drug taking. I agree, I have American relations who are taking meds for something, then another med to counteract the side effects of that meds, then another med to counteract the side effect… They are taking up to 15 different tablets a day! ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/94 "2012-05-10T14:16:59Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Nope. Hoover. In both Kennedy shootings. If there was a conspiracy in RFK’s shooting, it involved Nixon. My private, off-the-wall theory. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/95 "2012-05-10T14:45:39Z")
> [@The\_Man\_In\_Black](#): > > I just read that wiki. Holy shit. Does the author really believe what he wrights? Oh, yes. You will find a few radical professors here and there who buy into less drastic versions of this–generally people with no specialized training in the periods in question. Not much you can do when they already have tenure. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/96 "2012-05-10T14:48:43Z")
JFK’s assasnation was arranged by [Hugh D. Auchincloss](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_D._Auchincloss), the very protective step-father of Jacqueline Bouvier. ---
**Author:** ![DearestDane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@DearestDane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DearestDane)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/97 "2012-05-10T16:37:16Z")
Atheism is caused by observational deficiencies. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/98 "2012-05-10T17:03:03Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I think autism and learning diabilities are highly overdiagnosed largely as a result of parents who don’t want to admit that their kids are stupid. I feel the same way but would also add ADD/ADHD.\* \*There are, however, a number of children who legitimately have these disorders. I actually feel worse for them as we are spending far too much time and energy on children who don’t really need it. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/99 "2012-05-10T17:52:15Z")
> [@fumster](#): > > When I first heard about that impact crater I thought I had been vindicated, but as you said it is still not seen being as causing the Gulf. It’s not big enough. Chicxulub crater is 180 km in diameter, the Gulf of Mexico is about 900 km from north to south, 1600 km from east to west. The largest known impact structure in the world is the [Vredefort crater](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vredefort_crater) in South Africa, which is about 300 km in diameter. There are [lakes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manicouagan_Reservoir) that were formed by asteroid impacts, but they’re not even close to the size of the Gulf of Mexico. There are also crater lakes filling volcanic craters, which is the more common use of the term crater lake. Crater Lake in Oregon is in a volcanic crater, not an impact crater. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/100 "2012-05-10T17:52:20Z")
> [@bup](#): > > … quantum physics is a hack job that predicts “well” (if saying that at subatomic scales probability _is reality_ can be considered “predicting well”), but that misses some huge core fact that makes everything ‘make sense,’ if you will. This. And I suspect there are basic logical faults in modern physicists’ philosophical understanding of the universe, which are not only reasonably apparent, but correctable, but the set of people who sufficiently grok a basic philosophy of logic to point them out barely overlaps with those patient enough with the mathematics of a fantasized quantum universe to become experts in physics. And now quantum physics is \*chic, \*so it’s hanging on. Or maybe the universe really is that strange. > [@bup](#): > > That’s fascinating. To me, it’s little more implausible than consciousness itself, which exists among thousands of individual cells, none of which can lay claim to their own consciousness. Oh, I suspect all matter has basic consciousness. What brains give us is networking between molecules and long-term complex memory storage. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963.md?page=6)