# Your private, off the wall theories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 5, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963 "2012-05-05T06:39:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/101 "2012-05-10T17:58:06Z")
The Chesapeake Bay in the eastern US owes its origins to an [impact crater](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chesapeake_Bay_impact_crater), though the whole Chesapeake Bay is not inside the crater, and the shape of the Chesapeake Bay is not suggestive of a crater. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/102 "2012-05-10T18:01:42Z")
The older I get, the more I think we REALLY do live in a simulated reality. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/103 "2012-05-10T18:03:56Z")
In another, I don’t think Humans are completely sentient. I think we are driven by basic ‘animal’ drivers much more than we think. We are not ‘unsentient’ but are not completely ‘awake’…or even 50%. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/104 "2012-05-10T18:04:23Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > The older I get, the more I think we REALLY do live in a simulated reality. I often think that the creators of this simulated reality change it to make it even more incomprehensible whenever we are on the cusp of figuring everything out. (They almost solved Newtonian Physics and electromagnetism, let’s throw away that fixed aether and hit em with some relativity!) ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/105 "2012-05-10T18:11:54Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > The older I get, the more I think we REALLY do live in a simulated reality. Oh good, that’s not just me. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/106 "2012-05-10T18:41:03Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Oh good, that’s not just me. Not sure if you are joking 🙂 I guess I shouldn’t say I do believe it…it’s just that the older I get the more I think the probability that we are gets higher. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/107 "2012-05-10T19:42:58Z")
I think our assumption that we’re intelligent enough to truly understand the universe is unwarranted, and the data in fact argue against it. Looking at the world around us, we see a more or less continuous scale of intelligence with us at the top, other apes and maybe dolphins just below us, then moving down through dogs, cats, elephants, pigs, other large mammals, etc, etc. The exact placing on the scale is naturally open to argument. The point is, we like to think of ourselves as somehow qualitatively different from the rest of the animal kingdom, but I don’t think we are. Now, there are some things that your dog will never ever understand, no matter how hard to try to teach him. I think it’s silly for us to assume, therefore, that everything in the universe is now within our mental grasp, like we’ve tipped over some threshold, and consciousness is somehow equivalent to the potential for infinite understanding. Short version: just like your dog will never ever ever figure out your doorknob, or email, or driving a car, I think there’s a good chance that there are some concepts in the universe that we are just not biologically capable of understanding. I hesitate to offer examples, because that smacks of the God of the Gaps fallacy, but these could include things like time, gravity, and what’s really happening at the quantum level. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/108 "2012-05-10T20:37:38Z")
A couple… I don’t know how “off-the-wall” they are, but what the hell. 1. I believe that capital gains should be tax-free for the first $50-75k of capital gains made. This prevents people from being taxed when they (for example) have to sell stocks to cover a period of unemployment/pay medical expenses/retire… while it doesn’t make a dent in Bill Gates’ or Goldman Sach’s tax bills. 2. In a world where computers increasingly do our thinking for us, I do not think the best “education path” (for want of a better word) for today’s children involves them learning a lot of math and science. The biggest, most marketable and in-demand job skill in the future won’t be technical in nature, it will be interpersonal: how well one relates to other people. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/109 "2012-05-10T20:38:39Z")
I also theorize we’ve done this recently. [Proof!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=638634) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/110 "2012-05-11T02:06:33Z")
> [@fumster](#): > > I still hold that the Gulf is Mexico is an impact crater, despite no scientific evidence to back it up. If you take the diameter of the impact crater as the smaller north-south diameter of the Gulf of Mexico, that’s 900 km. The dinosaur killer asteroid wasn’t big enough to make an impact crater that big. Playing with [a solar system impact simulator created by a favorite professor of mine](http://janus.astro.umd.edu/astro/impact/) (I love using that thing, and I love anything that gives me an excuse to do it), and plugging in values for Comet Hale-Bopp, you could actually do it, if the diameter of the nucleus of Hale-Bopp is at the upper end of estimates (75 km, most estimates have it at more like 40-60 km, though some estimates do have it possibly being as big as 80 km). It’s possible but unlikely that we had an impact with something that big around the time the Gulf of Mexico was formed, since there just aren’t a lot of objects that big knocking around on Earth-crossing orbits. We think most comets are less than 16 km in diameter, but Hale-Bopp shows that there are bigger ones out there. Comet Hale-Bopp could hit the Earth sometime in the future, though this is unlikely. If it did happen, it would create a mass extinction, almost certainly much worse than the one that killed the dinosaurs. If anyone wants to write some dystopian science fiction, there’s an idea that I have thought about here. We discovered Comet Hale-Bopp about two years before it made its closest approach to Earth. If it had been on a collision course with us, we might have known that for up to two years before it happened. There would be no chance of our deflecting something that big in that amount of time- that would only work using [movie physics](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon_(1998_film)). We would probably know for a while, at a guess at least a year, that the impact was coming, but there’s nothing we could do to prevent it. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2012, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/111 "2012-05-11T10:13:14Z")
I think our changing lifestyle of increased pace and constant multi-tasking is itself causing some evolutionary pressure on humans. And I think autism is an emerging “experiment” by mother nature to attempt to deal with it. Purely anecdotal, but in addition to the social problems, I’ve known a few autistic folks who have an astonishing ability to deal with multiple, fast-changing technical problems that are difficult for single-task oldsters like me. Maybe autism isn’t a problem, it’s just mother nature’s code release of Brain 2.0. It’s still in beta and a little buggy, but we’re gonna be amazed at the results in a decade or two. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/112 "2012-05-12T21:32:46Z")
My one is this After doing alot of background reading on Hitler, and even taking lengths to read his psychological profile from WWII, I still find it incomprehensible that a homeless war veteran from the middle of nowhere and who had an attitude problem could become the most powerful man in Germany in the space of 12 years. Which ties in with the simulated reality thinking, maybe someone thought ‘Let’s see how they cope when I propel such and such to a position of absolute power’ for shits and giggles. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/113 "2012-05-13T16:41:29Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > Maybe autism isn’t a problem, it’s just mother nature’s code release of Brain 2.0. It’s still in beta and a little buggy, but we’re gonna be amazed at the results in a decade or two. I think I had a similar theory about Parrots and/or other intelligent birds awhile back—that their tiny little brains were “overclocked” to produce higher intelligence, but at the cost of causing kind of “twitchy” personalities. I forget the exact “twitchy” traits that inspired that particular idea, though…it’s been a long time since I’ve had any birds. ☹ Other off-the-wall theory of the day: PETA is secretly funded by, or at least has been infiltrated by provocateurs from, the meat industry. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/114 "2012-05-14T01:03:21Z")
Jack the Ripper was in the British Military… He, along with his unit was sent to some far flung part of the empire where he continued his spree and no one cared, and he eventually died there. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/115 "2012-05-14T11:27:06Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > I think I had a similar theory about Parrots and/or other intelligent birds awhile back—that their tiny little brains were “overclocked” to produce higher intelligence, but at the cost of causing kind of “twitchy” personalities. > > I forget the exact “twitchy” traits that inspired that particular idea, though…it’s been a long time since I’ve had any birds. ☹ > > Other off-the-wall theory of the day: PETA is secretly funded by, or at least has been infiltrated by provocateurs from, the meat industry. My brother has two parakeets and he describes it as “owning two very, very bad cats”. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/116 "2012-05-14T14:22:43Z")
I have firmly believed for years that the “recommended” amount of soap one uses while washing ones clothes is just enough to leave a slight residue of soap on the clothes. This residue is slightly sticky (though imperceptible to humans, mostly, and leads to clothes looking dirty faster, and thus needing to be washed more often, and so… more soap is sold. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/117 "2012-05-14T14:31:11Z")
That’s no so off the wall. I use half the recommended amount of detergent, and my clothes come out cleaner. Of course, I wash every week, so my clothes aren’t that dirty to start with. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/118 "2012-05-14T15:59:12Z")
Puerto Rico is under contract to be sold-possible buyers are: -Spain (historic ties) -Canada (Canada needs a vacation spot for winter-weary vacationers) ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/119 "2012-05-14T18:46:25Z")
Alarm clocks and timers are most reliable if you don’t use the :00, :15, :30, :45 multiples. You are most assured of an alarm clock working, or oven timer going off properly if you set the time to (in increasing order of reliability) :01, :02, :03, :05, :07, :13, :23, :47. Use other numbers at your own risk, it’s your own fault if you’re late for work. ---
**Author:** ![Bpelta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Bpelta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bpelta)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/120 "2012-05-14T21:49:34Z")
Evidence could come in for some of these, but I’m not looking, and they’re mostly based on personal intuition. I wouldn’t claim any of them as substantiated in any sense, but they are just thoughts which ping pong around my head: [Piers Morgan or somebody he knows tapped Seth Macfarlane’s phone](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrcOge6pMhg) The political, religious, and social movements which developed in America almost all have their roots in responding to something – I don’t know what – in the 1940’s. Generation X ruined America A professor of mine lied on purpose in a speech he gave, because he knew the truth (which I had informed him of) was inconvenient. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963.md?page=7)