# Your private, off the wall theories **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 5, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963 "2012-05-05T06:39:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/141 "2012-05-16T20:10:05Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > When a best of seven playoff series is at 3-0, the umpires or referees get told to give every break to the trailing team in order to keep the cash cow alive. Oh yeah, especially in the NBA, and it’s been going on forever. Best-of-sevens are in no way meant to filter athletic superiority, but are purely designed to milk ticket and ad revenue. One of my greatest joys were the Celtics back in the Bird days. They were able to still shamelessly steamroller opponents in series even with the referees doing everything in their power to fix the games to extend series lengths. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/142 "2012-05-16T20:20:11Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > When a best of seven playoff series is at 3-0, the umpires or referees get told to give every break to the trailing team in order to keep the cash cow alive. I respectfully disagree. IMHO, they’re told this prior to the start of the series. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/143 "2012-05-16T21:24:56Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > I’m pretty sure that by the usual definition of those words, the two are incompatible. I meant it in that the legalizing of allowing people to own other people will be presented as an issue of economic rights - who _says_ one consenting adult can’t agree to be bought by another consenting adult, hmm? ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/144 "2012-05-16T21:53:02Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I meant it in that the legalizing of allowing people to own other people will be presented as an issue of economic rights - who _says_ one consenting adult can’t agree to be bought by another consenting adult, hmm? And corporations are people, so corporations can own people who work for them:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/145 "2012-05-16T21:58:30Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > And corporations are people, so corporations can own people who work for them:eek: And corporations can own _other_ corporations. :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/146 "2012-05-17T00:33:14Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I meant it in that the legalizing of allowing people to own other people will be presented as an issue of economic rights - who _says_ one consenting adult can’t agree to be bought by another consenting adult, hmm? Well in practice that would probably be indentured servitude, not slavery. 99+% of the time when someone wants to own another person, what they really want to own their _labor_. And I still don’t buy it; libertarianism is most commonly held to mean a lack of coercion and a minimal or non-existent State. Both indentured servitude and outright slavery require that the State uses the power of the law to enforce the bondage and punish rebellion. Not of course that you couldn’t have such a system and **call** it libertarianism, in the same sense that North Korea is the Worker’s Paradise; but that gets into the argument oft repeated on this board of “but that’s not REAL libertarianism!”, with about eight different viewpoints on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/147 "2012-05-17T00:51:49Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Back pain is viral. Why not? We now know that stomach ulcers are bacterial. The large increase in peanut allergies over the last 20 years is down to selective breeding of high volume producing but alas more toxic varieties. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/148 "2012-05-17T01:11:57Z")
My crazy off the wall theory is that if everyone played more video games and watched more porn, the world would be a much better place. I think that the government should subsidize video game and pornography industries to make them cheaper and more accessible and promoted more highly. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/149 "2012-05-17T07:36:15Z")
Everytime I have a near-miss incident, I wonder if, in some alternate universe, I’m dead, and my consciousness remains in whichever universe I’m alive in. ---
**Author:** ![DearestDane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@DearestDane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DearestDane)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/150 "2012-05-17T07:56:04Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Humans are actually slaves controlled by mind waves from our owners, pet dogs and cats. Dogs do that? I thought only cats did. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/151 "2012-05-17T16:58:15Z")
Microsoft’s mid-90’s investiture in Apple was basically a huge bribe to keep Steve Jobs’ mouth shut during the upcoming anti-trust litigation instigated by the DOJ. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/152 "2012-05-17T17:02:42Z")
Eh, it wouldn’t have helped a bit if Jobs was subpoenaed. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/153 "2012-05-17T20:41:03Z")
I have a friend who thinks that someday people will be extinct and another creature will be running the planet, who will regard humans like we regard the dinosaurs. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/154 "2012-05-17T20:49:30Z")
That the earth is somewhat like a dog, with humans somewhat like it’s fleas. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/155 "2012-05-17T21:07:16Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > Microsoft’s mid-90’s investiture in Apple was basically a huge bribe to keep Steve Jobs’ mouth shut during the upcoming anti-trust litigation instigated by the DOJ. Actually, though it wasn’t a bribe, you’re not really far from the truth. Part of the impetus was the desire to keep a well-known competitor afloat - Apple going under during the trial would have been a PR disaster that would have cost far more than $150mil. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/156 "2012-05-18T14:29:07Z")
My private OTWT are all character assassinations of ordinary people I encounter in everyday life. just yesterday, as I park and breeze into the dry cleaners, there’s a skinny guy in faded wellworn clothes and a 5oclock shadow who nearly salutes me as Ipast. Boy he’s in a good mood, then I assume he’s a panhandler hitting up the customer base. But he follows me inside, chatting me up, clearly he works there. Instead, i adjust my paranormal story, to he’s killed the kindly Danish proprietor, their bodies are hidden behind the old industrial washers, and he’s gonna take my jackets and then take me to the dry cleaners. More murder mystery and OTWT at the grocer. Why do I notice the disaffected hipster guy in produce. WIth his family unit, he’s standing apart, apparently moping, with his hands in his pockets staring oddly at his wife and babblingg toddler. Clearly he feels useless, and resentful, and is thinking of buying bleach and tarps and twine… ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/157 "2012-05-18T14:53:22Z")
I am a 100% skeptic, realist, atheist. …but I suspect that there is an afterlife, of sorts. This is not the same I saying I _believe_ there is: there’s zero evidence for it, and it makes sense to assume its non-existence. What I mean is, if I had to bet on it (and somehow see the result either way), I would bet on _some form_ of continuation. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/158 "2012-05-18T19:21:03Z")
The annual flu shot drives (which we somehow did without for the first four decades of my life) are to keep in place a standing capacity to mass-immunize the public in the event of a biological attack. ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/159 "2012-05-18T20:08:08Z")
Anti-biotics have been one of the greatest boons for mankind but their side effects have been radically underestimated. They kill large numbers of intestinal bacteria which people have historically lived in symbiosis with. The lack of symbiotic bacteria creates problems with the immune system causing such diseases as asthma, auto-immune disorders, and depression. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963/160 "2012-05-19T02:38:46Z")
I believe that magic does “work.” If you perform a “magic ritual” to get a better job, for example, you will probably end up focusing a lot of your energy on finding a job. Not surprisingly, you will probably be in a better mindset to see and take advantage of opportunities. I believe that a lot of the effects of SSRIs comes from the fact that depression is often cyclical, and the point where you are together enough to seek help is probably pretty synchronized to a natural upswing. Drugs often need adjustment and tweaking later on because that’s when you are headed on a natural downswing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-private-off-the-wall-theories/620963.md?page=9)