# Your "Puritan Valentine's Day" cards

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-puritan-valentines-day-cards/650280>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 14, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-puritan-valentines-day-cards/650280 "2013-02-14T14:43:54Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-puritan-valentines-day-cards/650280/1 "2013-02-14T14:43:54Z")

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[These](http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6870031/puritan-valentines-day-cards) images have been floating around Facebook the last couple of days. Please add your own. Here’s mine:

I am drunk on your love. Please visit me at the stockade.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Our clothes are gray as God intended them to be.

It is inappropriate for a woman to read. A man must instruct you in praying for forgiveness.

I would give you my heart but it is currently being used to keep me alive. Upon my death, you may use it in a respectful manner.

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**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-puritan-valentines-day-cards/650280/2 "2013-02-14T20:39:05Z")

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Vilets are blue  
roses are red  
keep this bunch in your pocket  
so you won’t smell the dead