# Your recent Food Fails **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 29, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919 "2014-10-29T17:04:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/41 "2014-10-30T18:14:27Z")
Made cupcakes last week. The quality wasn’t bad (I used a boxed mix) but I was supposed to get 24 cupcakes out of it (which I’ve always done before) but somehow messed up so that only 21 cupcake holders were filled. Yes, I could’ve gone back and taken a little from each that was filled, but I was in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/42 "2014-10-30T19:36:21Z")
Trying to be creative in stuffing my wontons, I created a seafood mixture of crab, mahi mahi and shrimp all diced up in a mayonnaise base. But no matter what and how much I tried to add as seasoning - dill, lemon, dijon, garlic - it still tasted bland. The end result was like eating mayonnaise filled dumplings. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/43 "2014-10-30T21:30:44Z")
Well, there was The Great Gravy Failure of 1970, but that’s far from recent. ---
**Author:** ![justmeetee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@justmeetee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justmeetee)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/44 "2014-10-30T21:33:18Z")
Once made smoked paprika rolls when I grabbed it instead of cinnamon. (Had a cold and couldn’t smell the mistake). And the first time I made beef barley soup I used the whole bag without reading the directions. Added water to small amounts of that for days, lol. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/45 "2014-10-31T00:54:03Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > 1. Ore-Ida crinkle-cut fries, as cooked in an oven. [aside] Am I the last person on Earth to find out Ore-Ida stands for Oregon and Idaho? [/aside] ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/46 "2014-10-31T01:11:30Z")
I once accidentally used salt instead of sugar for a pancake batter recipe. My mom wouldn’t even let me throw it out into the yard for the birds for fear they’d die of sodium poisoning. A few months ago I tried making pizza dough. I have several discs of it and decided to store in the fridge with layers of parchment paper in between each disc. The paper somehow melded itself to the dough so the whole thing become one solid mass. Had to throw it all out. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/47 "2014-10-31T01:12:26Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Pre-cooking is pretty much the answer, unless you use low grill heat and not cook it directly over the coals. Since the surface is the only part that gets the grilled flavor, what’s the point of trying to do otherwise? I never trust grilled chicken, as most people end up with your result. We like doing [flying chicken](http://www.firepit-and-grilling-guru.com/roast-chicken-recipe.html) when camping [at least that is why my goddaughters used to call it. The first time their mom tried doing it she forgot to tuck the wings properly and they sort of spread out.] To explain - we normally do this in a camp ground, it is an old cooking technique for roasting that does not require a spit. It is pretty easy, but you do have to sit there and watch it, and retwist the string occasionally and baste the bird. Set up a tripod so the center is not directly over the fire. Set up a throw away roasting pan under it. Prep a chicken, suspend it from the tripod _next to and above_ the level of the coals. You are cooking by indirect heating, and the drippings fall into the pan below - we like to put a nice marinade there, and brush it over the bird as she spins, and the drippings enrich the marinade. As I said, you have to spin her up again occasionally, and it helps if you tend in the noncoal side of the tripod with foil to reflect heat back to the bird so it has heat from both sides. Think of it as the campfire version of[this](http://www.celtnet.org.uk/images/acton-bottle-jack.gif). Though mrAru is actually thinking of making one of these, to sit in front of our [cast iron hibachi](http://www.rockytopgen.com/catalog/SportsmanGrill.jpg) as some of the camping areas we use have a no firepit rule. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/48 "2014-10-31T01:28:30Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yeah, absolutely nothing wrong with parcooking it inside and finishing it on the grill. I will occasionally do that with other foods if I’m trying to serve up a lot of food at the same time, as my oven can hold more meat than my grill can. > > Otherwise, the technique is two-step for chicken for me if I’m doing it all on the grill. I typically go low heat then high heat finish. So cook it up on the indirect side of your grill until it comes to temp, and then finish it hot over coals. If I’m doing grilled chicken directly over the fire, I use a WSM bullet smoker which keeps the chicken about two feet over the flames. Then you can do it all in one stage without much of a fuss. (If you’re really good with fire control, you can do it in one stage on a normal grill, but it requires fairly regular attention and flipping. It’s just easier to do it with a two-zone grill set-up.) BBQ Chicken (not necessarily smoked) on the grill is one of my favorite meals. Gas or charcoal, I just put it on low and turn the pieces frequently (15 minutes) mopping as I go. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/49 "2014-10-31T01:31:40Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I once accidentally used salt instead of sugar for a pancake batter recipe. Yep, did that myself with pumpkin pie for a Thanksgiving Day party. I was visiting my friends out in Budapest for Thanksgiving, went to the market, bought some pumpkin (or, actually, something more like butternut squash), roasted it, pureed it, squeezed the excess water out through a piece of muslin, cracked in the eggs, spices, sugar. Tasted the batter. Fuck. It was salt. In my defense, I was in a foreign kitchen and there was a giant plastic container of flour and brown sugar next to it, so I just assumed, judging by the amounts, that it was sugar. It was only as I started pouring it that I realized the granularity looked off to me and, sure enough, it was. Back to the market, back to roasting, etc. I did manage to get the pie done in time, though. Felt like a real dumbass, though. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/50 "2014-10-31T01:44:06Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Yep, did that myself with pumpkin pie for a Thanksgiving Day party. I was visiting my friends out in Budapest for Thanksgiving, went to the market, bought some pumpkin (or, actually, something more like butternut squash), roasted it, pureed it, squeezed the excess water out through a piece of muslin, cracked in the eggs, spices, sugar. Tasted the batter. Fuck. It was salt. In my defense, I was in a foreign kitchen and there was a giant plastic container of flour and brown sugar next to it, so I just assumed, judging by the amounts, that it was sugar. It was only as I started pouring it that I realized the granularity looked off to me and, sure enough, it was. Back to the market, back to roasting, etc. I did manage to get the pie done in time, though. Felt like a real dumbass, though. But did they like the pie? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/51 "2014-10-31T01:44:57Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > But did they like the pie? Yes, the pie I served was eaten by all and finished. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/52 "2014-10-31T02:08:11Z")
So all’s well that ends well 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/53 "2014-10-31T02:15:54Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > [aside] Am I the last person on Earth to find out Ore-Ida stands for Oregon and Idaho? [/aside] No, I am. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/54 "2014-10-31T02:56:11Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > No, I am. No, I am–and now, in order to keep that status, I finally have sufficient motivation for completing my doomsday device. ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/55 "2014-10-31T03:38:04Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > We like doing [flying chicken](http://www.firepit-and-grilling-guru.com/roast-chicken-recipe.html) when camping [at least that is why my goddaughters used to call it. The first time their mom tried doing it she forgot to tuck the wings properly and they sort of spread out.] > To explain - we normally do this in a camp ground, it is an old cooking technique for roasting that does not require a spit. It is pretty easy, but you do have to sit there and watch it, and retwist the string occasionally and baste the bird. > > Set up a tripod so the center is not directly over the fire. Set up a throw away roasting pan under it. Prep a chicken, suspend it from the tripod _next to and above_ the level of the coals. You are cooking by indirect heating, and the drippings fall into the pan below - we like to put a nice marinade there, and brush it over the bird as she spins, and the drippings enrich the marinade. As I said, you have to spin her up again occasionally, and it helps if you tend in the noncoal side of the tripod with foil to reflect heat back to the bird so it has heat from both sides. Think of it as the campfire version of[this](http://www.celtnet.org.uk/images/acton-bottle-jack.gif). Though mrAru is actually thinking of making one of these, to sit in front of our [cast iron hibachi](http://www.rockytopgen.com/catalog/SportsmanGrill.jpg) as some of the camping areas we use have a no firepit rule. We have done that a few times in front of a fire with a leg of lamb and tried a duck which worked well. We also did a goose this way, that didn’t work out. > **[Photo Storage](https://photobucket.com)** > > Store your photos and videos online with secure storage from Photobucket. Available on iOS, Android and desktop. Securely backup your memories and sign up today! ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/56 "2014-10-31T05:54:41Z")
Last week. Made an entire pressure cooker’s worth of crow peas and rice with Moroccan ras al hanout seasoning. It should have been tasty but somehow did not work. Threw out 90% of it. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/57 "2014-10-31T06:06:01Z")
I bought a NutriBullet unit . . . the new model that pulverizes food at an enormous speed, and can heat it also. I decided to make an egg-substitute omelet . . . not something the NutriBullet was designed to make. I dumped in all the solid ingredients and poured in the egg substitute. Then I turned it on, for seven minutes. It was still not entirely solid. I could almost sort of taste some of the ingredients, but none of the egg of course. It was like eating . . . well, something I’d never eaten before, and never wanted to eat again. The cats wouldn’t touch it, so I fed it to my partner’s dogs. They loved it, then vomited. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/58 "2014-10-31T10:33:50Z")
> [@orderfire](#): > > So…Poo-tine, amirite? 😉 Ow. You’re not helping. 🙂 > [@gigi](#): > > [aside] Am I the last person on Earth to find out Ore-Ida stands for Oregon and Idaho? [/aside] If it makes you feel better, you might be the first to ask, or to care. I honestly never gave it a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Uniqueorn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uniqueorn/32/2807_2.png) [@Uniqueorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniqueorn)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/59 "2014-10-31T11:16:21Z")
Having the great idea of making latte by pouring milk into the coffee machine, is not a great idea. ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919/60 "2014-10-31T13:56:26Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > They loved it, then vomited. What better compliment from our canine friends! Cuz of course it can be eaten _twice_ then. :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-recent-food-fails/702919.md?page=4)