# Your relationship with your pets **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2011, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911 "2011-03-16T13:27:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/81 "2011-03-17T23:28:31Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I first read this as “poop science,” which both of my pets could benefit from. Done the poop science. When our dog was still an active guide dog breeder, we got enrolled in a study where we had to rate her poop on a 0 - 5 scale. No samples, at least. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/82 "2011-03-18T00:17:38Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Done the poop science. When our dog was still an active guide dog breeder, we got enrolled in a study where we had to rate her poop on a 0 - 5 scale. No samples, at least. Rate based on what criteria? ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/83 "2011-03-18T12:09:50Z")
Our JRT is not allowed in the bed by my husband, but I find it enormously snuggly and cute when he curls up in the bend of my knees under the covers, so we compromise: I let the dog hop in the bed with me when my husband isn’t home, and neither of us burdens my husband with the knowledge of it. The dog does get a Christmas present, but it’s just a squeaky rubber chicken like he periodically gets anyway. His only outfits are the coats we have for rain and for cold in the dead of winter. > [@Anaamika](#): > > I have a gecko so he is incapable of doing most of those things. 😃 I laugh to even think of him sleeping on the bed. But then again, he does conk out on the floor of his tank. > > I don’t even get him Christmas presents. But I love him as much as you can love a reptile, and when he does his “last gecko in the shop” move I just melt. I desperately need to know what the “last gecko in the shop” move is. Does it involve big puppy eyes and your gecko glued to the front glass of his tank? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/84 "2011-03-18T13:57:22Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I used to let Olive sleep with me, but my boyfriend won’t have it. All right. I admit I did a double-take there. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/85 "2011-03-18T14:47:39Z")
We have a dog and a cat. I wouldn’t mind the cat sleeping on the bed, but she almost never does. Dog is too big and hyper and drooly. I do talk to my pets as if they understand or something, though. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/86 "2011-03-18T15:19:32Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Just added another option – “have a pet but none of the above.” :smack: Or you could have added: _Pets aren’t human._ ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/87 "2011-03-18T16:40:34Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Or you could have added: _Pets aren’t human._ So you can’t have any kind of relationship with anything that isn’t human? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/88 "2011-03-18T17:08:18Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > So you can’t have any kind of relationship with anything that isn’t human? :rolleyes: You don’t want to start [that again](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=597118). The discussion will just circle its tail for pages. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/89 "2011-03-18T17:32:26Z")
Eh. Some people are obsessed with pointing out how important it is to them personally to be considered superior to something else. Other people overcompensate by driving Humvees. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/90 "2011-03-18T17:36:37Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > You don’t want to start [that again](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=597118). The discussion will just circle its tail for pages. Not only are you absolutely right, but you’d think I’ve been around long enough to have known better. Statement withdrawn. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/91 "2011-03-18T18:43:10Z")
Had a dream last night that, instead of dogs and cats, people had pet spiders the size of dogs or cats. All different colours and shapes. I helped one little girl get her white, cat-sized pet spider down from the ceiling, where it was clinging. It had run up there because she was colouring its abdomen-fur pink, and had tied a pink bow around its neck. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/92 "2011-03-19T00:43:24Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Or you could have added: _Pets aren’t human._ If you’re going to threadshit, doing it in a thread started by a mod probably isn’t your best bet. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/93 "2011-03-19T00:52:16Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Had a dream last night that, instead of dogs and cats, people had pet spiders the size of dogs or cats. All different colours and shapes. I had a spider living just inside the front door of my apartment for about three months last summer that some might consider to be a pet of mine. I named it (Boris, of course), and took care not to vaccuum too closely. Then he left me. ☹ Of course, if he’d grown to the size of a cat and tried to sleep in my bed, I suspect I might have left him. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/94 "2011-03-19T02:37:59Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > I had a spider living just inside the front door of my apartment for about three months last summer that some might consider to be a pet of mine. I named it (Boris, of course), and took care not to vaccuum too closely. Then he left me. ☹ > > Of course, if he’d grown to the size of a cat and tried to sleep in my bed, I suspect I might have left him. _If_ he’d given you the _option_ of leaving. . .muahahahaha! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/95 "2011-03-19T04:52:28Z")
How about making up songs for your pets? I noticed there was no option there. Today’s was sung to the tune of ‘‘Maniac’’ H_e’s a Merlin cat, Merlin cat on the floor And he’s meowin’ like he’s never meowed before_ ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/96 "2011-03-19T11:42:14Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > How about making up songs for your pets? I noticed there was no option there. > > Today’s was sung to the tune of ‘‘Maniac’’ > > H_e’s a Merlin cat, Merlin cat on the floor > And he’s meowin’ like he’s never meowed before_ Well, I made up one for Ponch once, to the tune of _Froggy Went a’courtin’ Ride_, because he was on the ottoman, and I was rolling the ottoman around the living room: Kitty went a foot-rest ride, honey Kitty went a foot-rest ride, baby, Kitty went a foot-rest ride, then jumped down to run and hide Honey, baby mine. But honestly, **mudgirl** was about seven at the time, and I did it more for her amusement than anything else. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/97 "2011-03-19T14:12:50Z")
By the way, never gave the stats from the book that started this whole thing: 70% let pets sleep on the bed 2/3 (sic) buy Xmas presents 23% cook special meals 18% dress up So it actually looks like we’re slightly _less_ pet-crazy than the general population, except on the sleeping arrangements. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/98 "2011-03-19T14:19:54Z")
I chose the last option. My pets are _always_ allowed on the bed. I don’t dress them up or buy special gifts, but they are given rewards and treats on normal days. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/99 "2011-03-19T17:56:28Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > By the way, never gave the stats from the book that started this whole thing: > > 70% let pets sleep on the bed > 2/3 (sic) buy Xmas presents > 23% cook special meals > 18% dress up > > So it actually looks like we’re slightly _less_ pet-crazy than the general population, except on the sleeping arrangements. 2/3 is 0.67%, for future reference. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911/100 "2011-03-19T18:08:37Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > 2/3 is 0.67%, for future reference. 🙂 It’s a bit closer to 67%, isn’t it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-relationship-with-your-pets/574911.md?page=6)