# Your six questions for Osama bin-Laden: SUBMIT HERE! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2001, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955 "2001-10-17T12:00:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/21 "2001-10-18T01:58:56Z")
1. Does this hurt? 2. Does this hurt more or less? 3. More or less? 4. More or less? 5. More or less? 6. Hey are you still alive or… ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/22 "2001-10-18T02:07:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > 6. Now, would you please take your seat, so you can spend the rest of your life watching the sex scenes from _Mitchell_? \*\* BWAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/23 "2001-10-18T03:09:10Z")
another joke of mine nobody gets… [heavy sigh] ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/24 "2001-10-18T03:27:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*another joke of mine nobody gets… > > [heavy sigh] \*\* _Of course_ we got it. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/25 "2001-10-18T04:29:59Z")
What is the third word that ends with “gry?” ---
**Author:** ![Diesel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Diesel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diesel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/26 "2001-10-18T06:53:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*another joke of mine nobody gets… > > [heavy sigh] \*\* Are you kidding? 'Twas the best post yet! And now for mine… 1. Are you ever gonna get off your lazy ass? Everytime I’ve seen you on the news you’re either sitting down delivering a speech, sitting down shooting an AK, or conspiring with your lieutenants from within the saftey of your sleeping bag. 2. What’s with that fucking sleeping bag, anyway? Is that where you go when you don’t want us to find you? Do your followers zip you into it and heave it into the back of a truck when a bomber approaches? 3. So exactly how many suicide bombings did the prophet Mohahmed (sp) carry out? 4. Why are you answering every question with “Allah is the only true God”? 5. “I refer to my previous statement” isn’t going to work either. 6. Seriously, just between you and me… this is all about the chicks, right? ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/27 "2001-10-18T10:34:44Z")
1. If you’re so friggin smart, why did you choose to attack the World’s Most Powerful Nation, the Nation that has fleets of B-52s, laser guided bombs and supersonic missiles, the Nation that put it’s Flag on the friggin’ _Moon_, when your best armament seems to be a beat-up '70s vintage AKM and US Military BDU fatigues? 2. If you’re so friggin’ rich and have so many loyal followers, why do you live in a cave? 3. You _do_ realize that a big part of the reason you guys supposedly “kicked out” the Russians, was that **we** , viz the people you just really pissed off, were helping you out, don’t you? 4. And continuing from that, you _do_ realize that you are now facing not only us- the US- _and_ the still-pissed Russians, but _also_ many of your own countrymen, some of the Pakistani, some Brits and about a dozen other fair-sized groups? 5. Have you yet gotten it through your thick skull and obviously too-tightly-wrapped turban that you are doing far more _damage_ to Islam as an institution and a religion, than most Jews and Christians could possibly hope to accomplish? 6. Does that cave have lots of food and water for when the next Arclight strike collapses all the entrances? ---
**Author:** ![Zaphod\_Beeblebrox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/0ea827/32.png) [@Zaphod\_Beeblebrox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zaphod_Beeblebrox)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/28 "2001-10-18T11:40:55Z")
1- Where are you? 2- Once I find you, would you rather settle our differences in a ring, or a cage? 3- Which bone or joint would you like me to break first, your knee, ankle, arm, ribs, back, neck, or other (please specify)? Feel free to list the second, third, etc. 4- Once I’ve finished breaking every bone in your body, would you prefer I remove your skin (using my left hand) while you’re still alive, or after you’ve died? (Note: your preference here will not affect the outcome. I’m just curious). 5- After I’ve peeled off your skin, would you prefer alcohol, peroxide, or sulfuric acid to be poured on your skinless body? 6- How many pigs can I get to piss and crap on your carcass before it’s considered to be “in bad taste”? ---
**Author:** ![Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/53a042/32.png) [@Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinnie_Virginslayer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/29 "2001-10-18T12:56:59Z")
\*_1. Would you be willing to bang **Lucky**? She . . . has . . . a . . . \* crush on you!!!_ 1. You don’t happen to once been a SDMB member known as **Mark Serlin** or **theuglytruth** , would you? 2. I guess there’s no chance you could shave off that disgusting beard and lose the turban, and use all that charisma to become like a car salesman or something? 3. Why don’t you set an example for your followers and demonstrate how to properly execute a suicide bombing . . in one of your camps? 4. If we bought you a kitten, would you knock it off? 5. Who do you like in the Eagles-Giants game Monday? ---
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/30 "2001-10-18T14:34:27Z")
I’ve only got one question for Osama or Usama or whatever the hell his name is… (1) How does it feel to know that a good precentage of the world’s population feels that you are the load one of your mother’s should have swallowed? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_from\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Man\_from\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_from_Mars)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/31 "2001-10-18T18:38:48Z")
(1) What exactly is Bert’s role in all of this? (2) How does it feel to share the FBI’s Most Wanted List with child molesters and sodomists? (3) Have you written your will yet? (Better get on it right away!). (4) Ever consider shaving off that disgusting beard and using it as a weapon in the ongoing bioterror attacks? (5) Baba Booey!!! ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/32 "2001-10-18T19:43:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*6. Now, would you please take your seat, so you can spend the rest of your life watching the sex scenes from _Mitchell_? \*\* Damn - that’s EVIL, Guinastasia! Brrrr - and now I’m thinking about those scenes… (hork) PS: Are you the same Guinastasia from customerssuck? Oh - my questions? “Why?” pretty much covers it… ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/33 "2001-10-18T19:50:22Z")
1. Is it true that YOU are the head of the Kabul Kwik-E-Mart? 2. Really? 3. You? 4. Really? 5. You? 6. Do you smell something burning? ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/34 "2001-10-18T19:59:38Z")
1. Is it true that YOU are the head of the Kabul Kwik-E-Mart? 2. Really? 3. You? 4. Really? 5. You? 6. Do you smell something burning? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/35 "2001-10-18T20:29:59Z")
1. How come you are not using your fortune to help your starving and suffering brothers in your adopted country? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/36 "2001-10-18T21:33:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Politzania \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > > \*\*6. Now, would you please take your seat, so you can spend the rest of your life watching the sex scenes from _Mitchell_? \*\* > > Damn - that’s EVIL, Guinastasia! > > Brrrr - and now I’m thinking about those scenes… (hork) > > PS: Are you the same Guinastasia from customerssuck? > > Oh - my questions? > > “Why?” pretty much covers it… \*\* _takes a bow_ Indeed, I am the Cheesiest Moderator over at CS. Thank you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mancunian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mancunian/32/12244_2.png) [@mancunian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mancunian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/37 "2001-10-18T22:01:16Z")
1. Is it true you have a tiny dick, and some American bird laughed at it, and this is why you hate America? 2. Is it? 3. Is it? 4. Go on, you can tell me. 5. No honestly, it’s between me and you. 6. I KNEW IT, HA HA. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/38 "2001-10-21T07:30:10Z")
During your life, how many times have you broken a fall by landing on your head? Were you bullied in school,or molested as a child, and do you have sez with goats ? Would a pet ferret be of any help to you? What is it like to know that you fucked your cause ? Are you a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome? You are trying to get as many people as possible to convert to your damaged version of Islam, whatever for? Why would want us as muslims? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/39 "2001-10-21T20:11:48Z")
1.) Now that you’ve attacked the US what do you plan to do next? 2.) What makes you think the folks at Disneyland will let you in? 3.) Now that you’ve joined the ranks of Hitler, Stalin, and Vlad the Impaler, how does it feel to be one of the most hated men in human history? 4.) Has anyone ever told you that you’re in more dire need of a blow job than any other man in human history? 5.) What do you think about the pacifists in America who think the US is wrong for entering this war? 6.) Was that, “I’d like to kill them, but they’re my own best allies in the US.” or was it “I’d like to kill them even though they are my own best allies in the US.”? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955/40 "2001-10-21T21:33:31Z")
1. What would you like on your tombstone? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-six-questions-for-osama-bin-laden-submit-here/87955.md?page=3)