# Your spouse and board games Chess/Cribbage **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Tags:** chess\ **Created:** [April 11, 2022, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682 "2022-04-11T19:43:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/1 "2022-04-11T19:43:19Z")
I really couldn’t come up with a good title… My Wife and I started playing chess 5 years ago. I taught her. She wanted to learn. We now also play cribbage. We play ~8 games of chess and ~6 games of cribbage a week. No set schedule. We just do because we enjoy it so much. We will give each other mulligans in a chess game now and then, but we are quite competitive. We’ve been married 27 years. It’s very interesting. I’m a GIS programmer. GIS is maps but more importantly spatial analysis. I see the relationship between pieces very quickly. Chess is a good game for me. My Wife is a Real Estate appraiser. That’s all math and comparable properties. And an eye for detail. She is better at Cribbage. My Wife is a former IronMan, so she likes competition. It’s very interesting and weird. After 27 years of a close and loving marriage, these games have pealed away a layer that shows each other how we each think at some different level. Cribbage does have some luck involved with the deal and turn of the cards. It still takes a heck of a lot of skill. Chess does not have luck involved, though my Wife disagrees (I think that’s why I usually win at chess). Both are games of strategy and planning. Cribbage takes a lot better memory of what your opponent may or not be holding. While with chess, everything is clear. It’s right in front of you but you need to try to predict what your opponent might do. And be ready to change your plan. We play almost nightly. Turn on some classic rock, grab a few beers, and we are ready. Our jobs keep us sharp. But, you get tunneled into one way of thinking. Games like Chess, Cribbage, Gin Rummy (often called 500) breaks your brain away from what you do day after day. It’s wonderful. As said above, it’s been very interesting to see how my Wife and I think a little differently at a very basic level. This is why I put it in MPSIMS, and not the Game room (whatever you want to do Mods, I feel it’s more of a social life sharing thread) If you don’t have a partner or friend to play with, play online. It’s a great way to remove yourself from your grind for a bit. There are lot’s of ways out of the ‘grind’ of course. This is a good and cheap one. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/2 "2022-04-11T21:14:30Z")
Hmm… good call. I haven’t played crib for ages. Can you recommend a good online version ? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/3 "2022-04-11T21:32:33Z")
Online cribbage could be interesting. I’ve been playing against AI. > **[Amazon.com: Encore Classic Card Games - \[PC Download\] : Video Games](https://www.amazon.com/Encore-Classic-Card-Games-Download/dp/B07Z5QXBJH)** > > Buy Encore Classic Card Games - \[PC Download\]: Read Video Games Reviews - Amazon.com I have an older edition; pretty sure “over 150 game variations” includes a whole bunch of solitaire variants. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/4 "2022-04-11T22:02:26Z")
We play backgammon. To me its the perfect balance of luck and skill. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/5 "2022-04-11T23:51:06Z")
I grew up playing cribbage. We are terrible people to play cribbage with. My dad tries to make up new combos; “The London Broil” and “The Neapolitan Triple” are what he usually calls them. My sister tries to enforce a three second rule. I’m horribly erratic. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2022, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/6 "2022-04-11T23:59:15Z")
We play Hive, Blackbox and Crokinole. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/7 "2022-04-12T00:05:20Z")
Mrs. L asked me to teach her cribbage so I did. She hasn’t asked to play since. We sometimes play Uno or Phase Ten but I grew up with Euchre, Pinochle, and 500. I think some people just aren’t card players. I say that because we had the (teenage) grandsons over last weekend and geez! It isn’t that they don’t get the game or whatever, but the protracted gaps between plays (Whose turn is it?) and non-standard behavior (showing everyone all your cards during play), well, it will be awhile again before I consider playing with them again. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/8 "2022-04-12T00:20:38Z")
The Mrs. and I play backgammon regularly, have for decades. I win significantly more than half of the game, because I have a better grasp of mathematical odds and strategy than she does. Even so, she can make intuitive leaps about when risks are worth it and when they’re not. So I’ve learned not to take her hunches for granted, or deprecate them. It’s given me insight into how her mind works, and helped give me more needed practice in keeping my mouth shut. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/9 "2022-04-12T00:46:34Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Hmm… good call. I haven’t played crib for ages. > Can you recommend a good online version ? Hadn’t played in 40+ years (damn I’m old). My Wife and I thought it would be a good two person game. It can be hard to learn. My Wife’s best friend knows it though and taught us. You can play with three people. It turned out to be a going away game. Wife’s (really our) best friend was getting ready to move. I can’t remember the last time we all laughed so hard. A couple of bottles of champagne did not hurt. I’m sorry but while I have played online, it was only on one system. I’m not in a position to recommend it as that’s all I’ve done online. It was AI. But I think you can play against a real person. Donno. This is the site. [Cribbage | Play it online](https://cardgames.io/cribbage/) My Dad taught me chess when I was 9yo. I didn’t play until about 10 years ago. I then played against AI’s. That’s rough. However, I did find [Chess.com](http://Chess.com). You can play real people. For free. Skill levels are set and tracked. I’ve played people from all over the world on that. And it has plenty of learning tools. I played a bit of online chess when I had my hip replaced a few years ago (stupid body). Online chess against a live person, can be great, and a little weird. When playing face to face on the same table, you can say “I’ve got to pee, be right back”. You can set time limits. 15 seconds or I think up to about a week per move online. But that’s the game you are going to play. People are on their honor for that. I would be very, very easy to have an AI help you. Oh, and lobotomyboy63, I used to love UNO. Really, I started this thread for two reasons. - Games like these really exercise your brain. People can get stuck in a rut in their thinking. And the way they think. - Also, I’m saying that it’s very interesting to see how others think, and strategize. I often ask my Wife if she planned something. It generally just happens for her. Or she’s not telling me 🙂 My Wife has only played me in chess. And I really have to watch my ass. There may be some sort of symbiotic/knowledge thing going on. Sort of makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/10 "2022-04-12T01:06:13Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Oh, and lobotomyboy63, I used to love UNO It’s a game to help newbies catch on easily, and it’s fun besides…that’s great. If you haven’t played Phase 10, give it a look…that’s another one that’s easy for people to pick up. Another that I haven’t played in many years: Mille Bornes. I loved that episode where Marty learns chess and kicks Frasier’s ass all over the place. What was Martin’s quote? “I captured your prawn”? [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PyQCIbW50Vo/hqdefault.jpg "Frasier - Martin beats Frasier at chess") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyQCIbW50Vo) ---
**Author:** ![Esturionette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9d8465/32.png) [@Esturionette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esturionette)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/11 "2022-04-12T01:08:50Z")
I think you got really lucky to have a spouse who shares your approach to games. What I can see straight away is that you both like to learn and display skill at your games. My husband is like that, but I am not. We both like the idea of games, but we haven’t yet found one where we would be compatible. Generally my husband likes to make his every move count. When playing chess or strategy board games, he spends considerable time thinking ahead. I tend to lose focus after a while and start making reckless moves, which annoys him. I would really like to be able to play Scrabble with him. I like this game because of a certain amount of randomness and the fact that I get fresh material to work with during every move. However, he doesn’t like games that are too random, and cards are out for the same reason. We tried playing card-based strategy games, but I get confused when there are too many rules, and I never felt motivated enough to properly learn one. The closest we get to enjoying games together is if he’s playing a video game and I watch. If the game has puzzles, I help solve them. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/12 "2022-04-12T01:17:00Z")
> [@Esturionette](#): > > I would really like to be able to play Scrabble with him. > [@Esturionette](#): > > I help solve them Mrs. L is big into Words With Friends. I help her with those when asked. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/13 "2022-04-12T10:42:23Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Cribbage | Play it online Good one, thanks ! I won the first game ! I used to play crib (or dominoes) with friends in the pub (25+ years ago)… My gf & i used to play backgammon, uno or zilch (simple dice game), but not recently 🙁 ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/14 "2022-04-12T11:32:39Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Good one, thanks ! I won the first game ! Hey, that’s great. I’ve only beaten that online game a couple of times. > [@Esturionette](#): > > I think you got really lucky to have a spouse who shares your approach to games. Yes, very true. And while we love to play, it’s very clear that we think differently. It’s very interesting. We play scrabble once in a while, but we cheat like crazy using a dictionary. We are going to Hawaii in 3 days and will take a traveling chess board. We aren’t sticks in the mud though, my Wife has all kinds of activities planned. Hopefully, I can keep up with her. We will be retiring in 5 years or so. It’s great that we can share this. I’m also trying to learn guitar. Lets just say I am NOT a natural at this. Some of this is the realization that when you have an extra 8 hours a day, what are you going to do with that time? ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/15 "2022-04-12T13:12:50Z")
My husband doesn’t like ANY games. Boo. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/16 "2022-04-12T13:23:59Z")
Mrs Cad and I love Cribbage and 2-Handed Canasta. We have a travel cribbage board (foldable with the card deck inside) and a canasta deck on our trips. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/17 "2022-04-12T13:49:16Z")
We generally play Cribbage and Rummikub, which is pretty similar to Rummy 500, but with tiles. My only worry about online cribbage is whether or not it counts your points. We LOVE stealing points from each other, it’s one of the game highlights. You’re watching her count, and thinking “she’s going to miss that AA256, isn’t she?” Then you desperately try to act nonchalant, maybe take a sip of your drink… wait for her to peg, and say “I’ll just take that 15 you missed.” That and cheating. You peg 10 points after counting 5 and see how many times you can get away with it before they notice. We do play a kind of casual game, where these shenanigans add to the fun rather than cause fights, and usually only cheat when we’re way behind. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/18 "2022-04-12T13:50:48Z")
We play D&D with our son, and sometimes computer games together. I tend to win every time we play strategy games against each other (I’ve been playing them since I was 10 or so, she didn’t have a computer until we started living together) and she finds my smugness when I win a bit of a put off (I really need to work on that ☹ ), so we rarely do it nowadays. We really shine when playing strategy games against the computer (like X-Com or Civilization), I’ve noticed when playing those that (in D&D terms), while my INT score seems higher, her WIS score is far far higher than mine: I generally keep track of all possible strategies, their pros and cons, and develop new ones, she decides which one is better. When doing that we generally win, sometimes easily, when I play alone I make stupid blunders and lose far more often. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/19 "2022-04-12T14:00:51Z")
Moving this to the game room. ---
**Author:** ![tofor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tofor/32/13727_2.png) [@tofor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tofor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2022, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682/20 "2022-04-12T14:07:32Z")
> [@Esturionette](#): > > I would really like to be able to play Scrabble with him. I like this game because of a certain amount of randomness and the fact that I get fresh material to work with during every move. However, he doesn’t like games that are too random, and cards are out for the same reason. While there is an element of luck to Scrabble the better player will win almost every time. Occasionally a poorer player can luck into a win, but that’s rare. The same is true of games like Canasta. This was not clear to me for a long time, and I didn’t want to play for the same reason as your husband. Eventually I figured out where the strategy was, and now I like it. My wife has a facility with games that I find unexpected. I am a software engineer: I think logically and solve puzzles for a living. But she wins most games most of the time. Everything from Scrabble to Canasta to Catan. This is a good thing, because I like playing games more than she does, and if I also beat her all the time we wouldn’t play as often as we do (which is already not nearly often enough - we have kids). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-and-board-games-chess-cribbage/962682.md?page=2)