# Your spouse calls you from a strip joint... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694 "2008-09-22T16:33:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/41 "2008-09-24T14:28:02Z")
šŸ˜ƒ great replies, Iā€™m taking notesā€¦ My spouse has called me from the back of a police cruiser . . . . . . . . . . . I told him if he was really in custody they wouldnā€™t be letting him make no phone call :dubious: Nevertheless there he was sitting in the ac, after getting assistance pushing his roadster off the highway from the nicest PO, soon to retire good cop! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/42 "2008-09-24T14:31:58Z")
> [@chela](#): > > šŸ˜ƒ > great replies, Iā€™m taking notesā€¦ > > My spouse has called me from the back of a police cruiser Iā€™ve called my wife from an ambulance before. She wanted to know if I was drivingā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/43 "2008-09-24T16:16:25Z")
I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/44 "2008-09-24T16:19:01Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. To answer more in the spirit of the OP, if my SO called from a male strip club I would be upset. I would be upset because itā€™s something weā€™ve talked about and he knows that I wouldnā€™t like it. Calling me and announcing it would be extremely rude. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/45 "2008-09-24T16:47:54Z")
ā€œTell your Mom I said hello.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/46 "2008-09-24T16:49:39Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. My girl would flip the fuck out. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/47 "2008-09-24T16:57:27Z")
> [@malkavia](#): > > I love strippers. Itā€™s a weakness. Some would consider it a strength. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/48 "2008-09-24T17:25:45Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. I think I wrote that _I_ wouldnā€™t mind if Kim wen tto a striip club, not the reverse. The situations are not identical. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/49 "2008-09-24T17:36:58Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. Itā€™s one of those issues for which the collective Doper response is from Mars and the rest of the world is from Venus. The are a lot of answers in this thread made in jest, of course. Thereā€™s also the comfort of dealing with this as a hypothetical situtation. And lastly, the hypothetical situation is relatively context-free ā€“ but everyone can imagine, I assume, contexts in which the call from a strip club would most unwelcome. Some percentage of women could laught it off IRL ā€¦ but think about it, Doper women: what percentage of your female friends and relatives would be as accomodating? Really and for true? The anecdotes below outline where Iā€™m coming from, so that sampling bias can be determined. These are but three of a myriad of examples that shape my perspective: 1. A simple call from a strip club ā€“ even without the ā€œa naked womanā€™s dancing in front of me!ā€ tag ā€“ would absolutely devastate my wife. Just crush her, and in a way much like walking in on me in bed with her best friend. What can I say? 2. A friend of my wifeā€™s left her husband more or less summarily upon learning that he checked out softcore online porn. Full disclosure: there were ā€œIā€™m not attracted to you anymoreā€ issues ā€¦ so some may question my use of ā€œsummarilyā€ above. But the separation was very quick once the online activity was discovered. No talking it out, no counseling, nothing. That was full-blown cheating with another human being as far as she was concerned. 3. One of my good friends had his bachelor party at Hooters, requesting that we not make it into a strip-club hopping night past an evening of sports, wings, beer, and tight T-shirts. We all obliged, and there was no further action beyond the trip to Hooters. His then-fiancee found out about it, and carried on for a few days about it (me, my friend, and the fiancee all worked together in close quarters at the time). She was openly weeping about it ā€¦ and not just upon finding out, but several times afterwards. Again, her reaction and apparent level of hurt was much like Iā€™d expect a woman to react to catching her SO red-handed having sex with another person. And from where Iā€™m sitting, itā€™s not even a matter of trust in their spouse. At all. The issue seems to be more that another female could even begin to have the slightest spark of an effect on their man. Just the concept ā€“ even fully in the abstract ā€“ seems painful for a lot of women. Again, from where Iā€™m sitting. ---
**Author:** ![Walkabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walkabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walkabout)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/50 "2008-09-24T17:45:03Z")
ā€œHave fun. Donā€™t wake me up when you come home.ā€ Iā€™m fairly certain my husband goes to the strip joints from time to time when he goes on his golf jaunts with the guys. I donā€™t really care, as long as he doesnā€™t try to bring home souvenirs. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/51 "2008-09-24T17:48:38Z")
> [@](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. It wouldnā€™t bother Pepper Mill. She knows Iā€™ve been to them in the past. And she knows me too well. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/52 "2008-09-24T18:10:22Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. When I first got married, this sort of scenario wouldā€™ve either (a) never happened because (b) Iā€™d never let it go and it would be a fight for years to come or, (c) if I could get past the thought of it somehow and the Other Half felt so inclined, there still would be (d) too many tears, hurt feelings and insecurities to deal with for him to have taken the risk. At least on the telling part. He mightā€™ve gone, but Iā€™dā€™ve been none the wiser. I was so threatened by other women then, that even regular olā€™ porn magazines sent me into a tizzy and, Iā€™m ashamed to admit, I was another that basically forbid a bachelor party. Hooters probably wouldā€™ve been too much for me to handle as well. Sad but true. Now, this wouldnā€™t faze me at all. Iā€™d simply want to know what time to expect him home and if heā€™d be bringing dinner. And possibly if I could have an equal amount of money that he spends on tips for my current hobby of choice. Heh, whatā€™s good for gooses and ganders and all that. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/53 "2008-09-24T18:23:41Z")
Okay, honest answer: My internal reaction would actually be ā€œew,ā€ but I wouldnā€™t feel hurt or betrayed or anything. Actually, this past summer at one of the festivals we attend, there were some people (men and women) doing pole dancing after dark. And that I liked quite a bit, because it was entirely and obviously voluntary - people got to keep their tips, but even the best dancers pocketed around $30 or something; no one was there for the cash. The first few were obviously professionals, and my GOD! the things these women can do with their bodies are stunning. Iā€™m not talking quarters or ping-pong balls, just gyrations and wiggles and thighs stronger than iron. My husband was there, somewhere, in the crowd as well, but I lost track of him pretty early on. The dancers got worse as the event went on, as the amateurs and the drunks got up the nerve. Finally once of his (my husbandā€™s) exes got up, and she was just TERRIBLE! I felt simultaneously smug and nauseated. šŸ˜ƒ Hey, Iā€™m poly, Iā€™m not perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/54 "2008-09-24T18:24:09Z")
How much did you make dancing? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/55 "2008-09-24T18:32:06Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > How much did you make dancing? Is that an answer to the OP or a question for me? If the latter - none. I didnā€™t dance. Iā€™d love to learn, but watching the other amateurs, itā€™s not something Iā€™m going to do in public for the first time. When itā€™s good, itā€™s really really good, and when itā€™s bad, itā€™s terrible! I did slip my friend Snoo a couple bucks, though. She was awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/56 "2008-09-24T19:17:10Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I find it sort of odd that nobody would be upset. Or, if itā€™s just that nobody who would be upset by this has responded. My wife would be upset. Of course, sheā€™d also be confused as I think strip clubs seem kind of skeevy (especially the ones around here) and would never go to one. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/57 "2008-09-24T19:28:27Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Is that an answer to the OP or a question for me? If the latter - none. I didnā€™t dance. Iā€™d love to learn, but watching the other amateurs, itā€™s not something Iā€™m going to do in public for the first time. When itā€™s good, itā€™s really really good, and when itā€™s bad, itā€™s terrible! > > I did slip my friend Snoo a couple bucks, though. She was awesome. An answer to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694/58 "2008-09-24T19:52:29Z")
Me: ā€œHey, thereā€™s a stripper dancing in front of me right now!ā€ Mrs. Bubbadog, " Good, get _her_ to do your laundry and cooking!" Actually Mrs BD would be amazed since she knows that Iā€™d rather watch a woman walk down a street than dance on a pole. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-spouse-calls-you-from-a-strip-joint/464694.md?page=2)