# Your Table is Ready, M'sieur...Zut.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 20, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995 "2000-06-20T16:25:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/1 "2000-06-20T16:25:54Z")
I’ve used the handle “Zut” for years, for a number of different things. One of these things is making reservations at restaurants. I figure if I have to spell my name anyway, I might as well make it short (plus “Zut” amuses me).
Anyway, a few of my friend have confessed to also using fake names, on occasion, while making reservations or ordering pizza or whatever. One uses “J. D. Salinger” (famous American author, for those of you not blessed with a proper American education), one claims to use “Bill Gates,” and a third claims to use “Mike Hunt” (although I don’t believe him).
Does anyone else have a favorite _nom du restaurant_? Do you use your on-line name? A real person? A particularly amusing fake name?
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### Author:  [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/2 "2000-06-20T16:29:52Z")
At Radio Shack, when they ask for your address, I invariably give 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Guess the TV show, and win a priiiiiiizzze.
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### Author:  [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/3 "2000-06-20T16:34:28Z")
I have a friend whose name in restaurants is highly variable. But only when there is a long line of people waiting for their name to be called. If anyone is called twice without responding, suddenly that’s his name and in he goes.
Once I went to get on the seating list and when they asked how many of us I said there were oodles of us, and then after some calculation gave her the real number. Sometime later they called for the “Oodles, party of eight!”
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### Author:  [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/4 "2000-06-20T16:39:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> At Radio Shack, when they ask for your address, I invariably give 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Guess the TV show, and win a priiiiiiizzze.
> \*\*
The Munsters.
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### Author:  [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/5 "2000-06-20T17:11:30Z")
Edwardina is in honor of one of my favorite fictional females, one “Eddy” of The River Why.
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### Author:  [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/6 "2000-06-20T17:34:02Z")
I always use the names of dead white heavyweight champions -Tunney, Dempsey, Sullivan and Marciano. On a related note, a friend likes to play chinese food roulette. The local joint keep the take out bags at the desk waiting for the customer to pick them up. Th name and bill is stapled to the bag and he walks up, chooses a bag that looks about the right size and tells the clerk that is his name. Do not try this if you are a picky eater - ya never know whats for dinner!
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/7 "2000-06-20T17:52:58Z")
I like to use the names of baseball players. I’ve used Ted Williams, Stan Musial, Lou Brock, Frank Robinson, and Mike Schmidt. If someone asks, I just tell them my dad was a big fan.
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/8 "2000-06-20T17:59:17Z")
Kuni (or Cooney) is a lot snappier than either me or my wife’s real name, so we’ve gotten in the habit of using it. But my favorite was a guy named Joe Lewis, who married a woman named Martin. He got it whenever he tried to leave the name of Joe Louis or worse, Martin and Lewis.
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### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/9 "2000-06-20T18:27:44Z")
Pappy Poopdeck. Any time I don’t want to use my real name I use Pappy Poopdeck. Hey MrC! I use 1313 Mockingbird too!
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### Author:  [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/10 "2000-06-20T18:36:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> Guess the TV show, and win a priiiiiiizzze.
> \*\*
Mr. Cynical … I’m still waiting for my prize. 😉
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### Author:  [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/11 "2000-06-20T18:40:54Z")
I invariably use the monicker **“Alek Hidell”** when signing guest books, etc.
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### Author:  [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/12 "2000-06-20T19:12:10Z")
**Rodd Hill** says that he uses…
> [@](#):
>
> …the monicker **“Alek Hidell”** when signing guest books, etc.
All right; color me stupid. What does this refer to, Rodd?
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### Author:  [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/13 "2000-06-20T20:02:21Z")
I have used “John Clark” (Tom Clancy’s fictional spook) and “Roland Deschain” (figure out where that came from, and win…nothing!)
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### Author:  [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/14 "2000-06-20T20:04:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> I have used “John Clark” (Tom Clancy’s fictional spook) and “Roland Deschain” (figure out where that came from, and win…nothing!)
> \*\*
I know I don’t win anything, but isn’t Roland from Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, the first book of which was called the Gunslinger?
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### Author:  [@CreaseMunky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CreaseMunky)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/15 "2000-06-20T20:17:43Z")
I always use the first thing that pops into my head. I’ve been Kenny McCormick, Robert Plant, Ralph Kramden… jeez, just about anything.
Sometimes I go with the single words: Keg, Wonderful, Birthday. My favorite is Useless.
“Useless, party of four.” We cheer for ourselves and go get seated. I use that when I’m out with the hockey buddies mostly.
And Roland Deschain is a Stephen King character from the Dark Tower series. I eagerly await my nothing.
Dammit!! I go downstairs to check the book title and someone beats me to it. grrrrrrrrrrr…
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### Author:  [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/16 "2000-06-20T20:25:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
> **Rodd Hill** says that he uses…
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > …the monicker **“Alek Hidell”** when signing guest books, etc.
>
> All right; color me stupid. What does this refer to, Rodd?
> \*\*
I think it was an alias of Lee Harvey Oswald.
Please correct me if I’m wrong.
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### Author:  [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/17 "2000-06-20T20:27:04Z")
Hi **Zut** –it’s pretty obscure.
“Alek Hidell” is the name used by Lee Harvey Oswald when he mail-ordered his Mannlicher-Carcano rifle, which he either did, or didn’t, use to shoot JFK from the Texas Schoolbook Depository. Or the grassy knoll. Or the manole cover. Or the giant “Hertz” sign.
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### Author:  [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/18 "2000-06-20T20:53:10Z")
Ohhhh. Thanks, **Rodd** (and **little** ). To be honest, I thought it was an Eileen Dover/Seymour Butts kind of thing. I sat here for ten minutes muttering “aLEK hiDELL… ALek HIdell… aLEKHIdell…” and still couldn’t get it.
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### Author:  [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/19 "2000-06-20T20:57:36Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*\*
> > I have used “John Clark” (Tom Clancy’s fictional spook) and “Roland Deschain” (figure out where that came from, and win…nothing!)
> > \*\*
>
> I know I don’t win anything, but isn’t Roland from Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, the first book of which was called the Gunslinger?
> \*\*
Yep.
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### Author:  [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2000, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-table-is-ready-msieur-zut/22995/20 "2000-06-20T21:06:42Z")
I usually pick the name of the restaurant. If I’m at The Red Robin burger joint, my name’s Robin. If I’m at Diedrich’s coffee shop, I’m Diedrich. At Starbucks, I’m either “Star”, child of hippies, or “Buck Naked”, porn star (thank you George Costanza.)
Once I picked the name of the japanese prime minister at a japanese restaurant and the host seemed very offended, so you’ve got to be careful.
My hope is that one day I’ll go to “Pierre’s Deluxe Restaurant Francais” and since my name is Pierre they’ll think I’m the owner and let me in ahead of all the losers waiting for a table. 😃
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