# Your tax dollars at work

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-tax-dollars-at-work/496652>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 16, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-tax-dollars-at-work/496652 "2009-05-16T16:03:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-tax-dollars-at-work/496652/1 "2009-05-16T16:03:26Z")

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As some of my fellow Dopers may be aware, I have rejoined Americorps \*NCCC and my team new is currently stationed in New Orleans after an exhausting 2-day trip in our trusty van, the Millennium Falcon (fastest ship in the galaxy). Many things about this team are different from my first team in long-ago 2004, most notably that we haven’t wrecked a single van yet, but some things are the same, such as that we are rather hazard-prone.

Name, Age, Origin

**Collard Greens** , 23, Michigan. Our team leader.  
Injuries: one mysterious intestinal ailment, almost certainly due to the NJ public water supply (see below, **C-Rae-sy** ).  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: “If someone can lick your eyeball, that’s true friendship.”

**Pittsburgh** , 19, Pittsburgh PA (duh).  
Injuries: None so far.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: Has managed to become engaged to about half the girls in Americorps, as well as possibly to **Mr. Americorps** as well.

**Burrito Man** , 19, California.  
Injuries: Hit himself in the head with a piledriver while working on a fence, requiring numerous stitches.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: Writing and performing an acoustic rock song about the barking dog next door that goes something like “Prince/Prince of the swamp/Prince is the dog with the chain around his neck”.

**C-Rae-sy** , 22, Arkansas.  
Injuries: Nasty kidney and stomach infection caused by drinking New Jersey tap water.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: Pouncing on **Burrito Man** shortly after he split his scalp open (as described above), not to care for his injury, but to frantically apply Tide-2-Go to his blood soaked shirt.

**Boss Hogg** , 21, Washington DC.  
Injuries: None so far.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXoSGV7pyzk).

**LizWhiz** , 19, Ohio.  
Injuries: a nasty sunburn.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: “I love \_\_\_\_” (the blank being pugs, Starbucks, or anything else a 19-year-old girl would love).

**Mipp** , 24, Mississippi (this is me, btw)  
Injuries: my thyroid appears to be attempting to escape my body.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: My ability to sing along to every Disney song in the van, and know all the words.

**Baked Ziti** , 18, Delaware.  
Injuries: Dumped horse manure on both herself and **Burrito Man** while driving a Bobcat.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: “If I could, I’d have sex with your hair.” – said to **LizWhiz** as she fucked the latter’s ponytail with her little finger.

**Mr. Americorps** , 22, Georgia.  
Injuries; Sunburning his scalp after shaving his head.  
Best/Strangest Quote/Deed: Going for a 2-mile run wearing a silky yellow dress, a shaved pate, and running shoes.