# Your top 5
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 25, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001 "2003-04-25T01:23:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/1 "2003-04-25T01:23:52Z")
[Disclaimer] Any post by me after 9p EST should be taken with a grain of salt since I have been probably been drinking for several hours. [/Disclaimer]
Ok, I stole this from Friends. Sue me.
Pick a list of 5 people that your SO would agree to give you a free pass in your monogomous agreement (wink wink, nudge nudge).
I’ll start:
1. Jaime Pressley
2. Kylie Minogue
3. Shania Twain
4. Elizabeth Hurley
5. Fernada Martinelli (do a google search)
(I’m going to shut my computer down before I embarass myself further)
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/2 "2003-04-25T01:36:39Z")
Google - "Did you mean to search for: Fernanda Martinelli "
Tsk tsk Google! you forgot the question mark.
Fernanda Martinelli is mighty fine.
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### Author:  [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/3 "2003-04-25T01:53:51Z")
Agggghhhh!!!
Now FERNANDA will see this and I’ll NEVER have a chance.
(It takes awhile for all my programs to close before my computer shuts off 😉 )
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### Author:  [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/4 "2003-04-25T01:57:16Z")
1. Monica Bellucci
2. Jessica Alba
3. Aishwarya Rai
4. Shania Twain
5. Zhang Ziyi
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### Author:  [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/5 "2003-04-25T04:05:37Z")
1. Patrick Stewart (Alas, he is not interested. I have no penis…)
2. Spiderman. (But it has to be the _real_ Spiderman, not an actor portraying him.)
3,4,5) There are no other exceptions to our monogamy. I believe the only reason the first two are acceptable is because they are impossible. Which is fine.😃
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/6 "2003-04-25T04:16:28Z")
Uh. When did Patrick Stewart become gay?
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### Author:  [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/7 "2003-04-25T04:40:02Z")
Tobey Maguire (I can have sex with him when he comes up to me and says "I need your sweet hot lovin’)
Charlie Robison (this is the least grudging “sure you can” in the world. He said “Hell, _I’d_ do him.”)
That’s it. If one of my race car drivers wanted to sex me up, and I asked permission, I might get it if there were money involved.
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/8 "2003-04-25T04:44:47Z")
Oh, yeah. My list too.
1. Tiffani Thiessen
2. Catherine Zeta Jones
3. Britney Spears
4. Stacy Keibler
5. Zhang Ziyi
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### Author:  [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/9 "2003-04-25T05:09:58Z")
**Aesiron** , I guess you’d have to ask him!😉
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### Author:  [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/10 "2003-04-25T05:11:30Z")
1). Syd Barrett…but only if it was pre-baldness, diabetes and severe on-set of schizophrenia.
2). Grace Slick. Pre-1975. (Granted, she’d be on _his_ list, too, but this is beside the point)
3). Ashton Kutchner
4). Elizabeth Hurley
5). Julian Casablancas from the Strokes
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/11 "2003-04-25T05:12:11Z")
Or you could ask his wife…
Ian McKellan, the only actor I might call “equally gifted” re: Patrick Stewart, is gay. The man himself is straight.
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### Author:  [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/12 "2003-04-25T05:21:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Marley23 \*
> \*\*Or you could ask his wife…
>
> Ian McKellan, the only actor I might call “equally gifted” re: Patrick Stewart, is gay. The man himself is straight. \*\*
AH HA! I **KNEW** he wasn’t gay! Sorry, sweetheart, you’re gonna have to back off now. Because, well, it _could_ happen!😛
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/13 "2003-04-25T05:28:52Z")
Er, yeah… that was sort of my whole point in asking her when he became gay.
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### Author:  [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/14 "2003-04-25T05:30:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Aesiron \*
> \*\*Er, yeah… that was sort of my whole point in asking her when he became gay. \*\*
Yeah, I know. My whole point is that she is **my wife!** 😃
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### Author:  [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/15 "2003-04-25T05:31:37Z")
Oh, sorry, keep forgetting the sig line.
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### Author:  [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/16 "2003-04-25T07:13:42Z")
Excuse me while I blush and slink away, muttering “But I really _thought_ he was…”
It’s neat that he isn’t though!😉
(I promise never to mention it again, **d\_redguy.** )
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/17 "2003-04-25T07:26:32Z")
You people confuse me. Or maybe it’s the late hour.
Either way, my brain hurts.
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### Author:  [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/18 "2003-04-25T07:56:40Z")
AFAIK we’re non-monogamous anyways _grin_ but the list would be:
1. kd lang
2. Del LaGrace Volcano
3. Patrick Swayze
4. Susan Sarandon
5. David Bowie
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### Author:  [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/19 "2003-04-25T12:10:45Z")
**Aesiron** - Let me try to cure your brain pain. 😃
**d\_redguy** and I are married- to each other.
The reason he never minded my lusting after Patrick Stewart is because I figured the liason could never occur. This is because I thought he was/is gay.
Now we know that he isn’t, thanks to **Marley23**. So he was teasing me by saying I would have to take him off of my list, because it is now possible, though HIGHLY unlikely, that the opportunity COULD, technically, arise. (Bad, bad pun.)
So, I promised him that I would never mention it again, after showing pleasure in the new knowledge.
Hope that helps! 😉
Many apologies to everyone from us both for the gigantic hijack!
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### Author:  [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)
#### Post date: [April 25, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-top-5/171001/20 "2003-04-25T13:33:22Z")
My husband won’t give me a Hollywood Roll In Zee Hay, but I already told him he can have Raquel Welch. Bastard.
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