# Your treatment options in 1899 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 26, 2004, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565 "2004-08-26T05:49:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/21 "2004-08-26T19:55:15Z")
> [@Rodd Hill](#): > > Damn bad show! I’ve been shot in the upper arm by a Boer farmer, with his bloody Mauser. Cheekie chappie was hidden in some bushes, wouldn’t even show himself. We junior subalterns of the Blankshire Regiment call this most unsporting. > > Oh, and a spot of enteric fever, as have several of my fellow officers. Oh dear, that is a problem. Well, I can give you a general anesthetic while we extricate the bullet. Your choice, ether, chloroform, or nitrous oxide? After the bullet’s been removed, some disinfectant should be applied. How about formaldehyde? For your enteric fever, or typhoid fever, as some call it, there are several options. We can give you alum for the diarrhea, opium for the delerium, and digitalis to lower your temperature and pulse rate, but we should do this with care, for death during its use has been known to occur suddenly. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/22 "2004-08-26T19:56:36Z")
Doctor, I am troubled by frequent episodes of carnal desires…the result of which I have sought out entertainment of a gentlemanly sort…in addition, I have a compulsion to frequent certain houses of ill-repute! I have also indulged in bouts of self-abuse…can you reco,mmend a remedy for this affliction? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/23 "2004-08-26T20:01:38Z")
> [@Mishell](#): > > You’re right, I see no reference to this “bipolar disorder” in my books. However, for mania I can prescribe submersion into hot water while a cold douche is applied to the head. Or, that old stand-by, cannibis. I could give you chloroform to help you sleep, and we could try some opium to calm you down a bit. > > By depression, I assume you mean melancholia? For this, we could try some cocaine, maybe some nitrous oxide. Opium is also useful here, in small doses, as is, once again, cannibis. Thank You! It worked like a charm although the opium was a little hard to find. Do I have to take this medication for the rest of my life? ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/24 "2004-08-26T20:24:52Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > How about dyspepsia, rheumatism, and just generally being over 40? For dyspepsia, I would recommend absinthin, or perhaps dilute hydrochloric acid. If you’re suffering from nervous dyspepsia, try cocaine 1/4 grn. two or three times a day. Is your rheumatism of the acute, chronic, gonorrheal, or muscular variety? In any case, opium and mustard plasters should prove helpful. Leeches may help as well, or even a Turkish bath. As for your advanced age, I would recommend yet more arsenic, which is good for the swelled feet of old or weakly persons with weak heart. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/25 "2004-08-26T20:25:29Z")
I love to drink but my husband says he will put me in the sanitarium if I don’t stop. Yet when I try to stop I hear voices and then there are bugs running on my arms, so I have to start again. What should I do, seeing as AA won’t be around for another 35 years? ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/26 "2004-08-26T20:30:17Z")
> [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > I’ve gone blind. BLIND! > > Help me, doctor! I concur with **phall0106’s** assessment. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/27 "2004-08-26T20:37:14Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Doctor, I am troubled by frequent episodes of carnal desires…the result of which I have sought out entertainment of a gentlemanly sort…in addition, I have a compulsion to frequent certain houses of ill-repute! I have also indulged in bouts of self-abuse…can you reco,mmend a remedy for this affliction? There are several excellent anaphrodesiacs available. **Johnny Bravo** , please take note as well. I can offer you belladonna, cocaine, camphor, opium, or various purgatives. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/28 "2004-08-26T20:42:36Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > I love to drink but my husband says he will put me in the sanitarium if I don’t stop. Yet when I try to stop I hear voices and then there are bugs running on my arms, so I have to start again. What should I do, seeing as AA won’t be around for another 35 years? Fear not! Overcoming alcoholism is easy. All you need to do is slowly suck an orange whenever the craving arises. You may also try drinking ammonia as a substitute for the alcohol. Also, water, one pint drunk as hot as possible an hour before meals will remove your cravings. Strychnine nitrate may also be given, as well as the usual, cocaine, opium, arsenic. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/29 "2004-08-26T20:48:57Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Thank You! It worked like a charm although the opium was a little hard to find. Do I have to take this medication for the rest of my life? Yes, I’m afraid so. May I offer you some strychnine and tobacco cigarettes for the constipation that is sure to ensue? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/30 "2004-08-26T22:05:26Z")
> [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > I’ve gone blind. BLIND! > > Help me, doctor! Also, **Johnny Bravo** needs medical attention, for he suffers from The Evils Of Sexual Self-Abuse. Can you cure him, Doctor? Or, must he go to the Sanitarium? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2004, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/31 "2004-08-26T22:12:24Z")
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I suddenly got all better just from _reading_ my prescription. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/32 "2004-08-27T05:58:05Z")
Me? I died of pneumonia in 1896. For the psychological problems (depression, and O.C.D.), I’d probably either be a) a drunk, b) chained to a bed in a nuthouse, or c) have gone to a nice meeting with a .38 bullet by now. (Unless I was rich…in which case “b)” would be changed to “private sanitarium.” Which probably would involve fewer beatings, and a nice garden.) And…were there any treatments for Hayfever in 1899, besides “move to Arizona”? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/33 "2004-08-27T06:43:05Z")
I’ve been working in the factories for the last twenty years, and lately I’ve started coughing up large, bloody black globs of mucous. At least, I hope it’s mucous. Should I be concerned? ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/34 "2004-08-27T14:24:34Z")
I have hives, big ones. All over, never ceasing. And from time to time my tongue will swell. What’s to be done with me? [crossing fingers] c’mon opium!! [/cf] ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/35 "2004-08-27T19:42:15Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Me? I died of pneumonia in 1896. > > For the psychological problems (depression, and O.C.D.), I’d probably either be a) a drunk, b) chained to a bed in a nuthouse, or c) have gone to a nice meeting with a .38 bullet by now. (Unless I was rich…in which case “b)” would be changed to “private sanitarium.” Which probably would involve fewer beatings, and a nice garden.) > > And…were there any treatments for Hayfever in 1899, besides “move to Arizona”? There were, actually. Quite a few, so I won’t list them all, but highlights include ammonia, arsenic as a cigarette, cocaine, strong coffee, formaldehyde, morphine, opium, strychnine, and tobacco. Fun, fun. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/36 "2004-08-27T19:51:28Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I’ve been working in the factories for the last twenty years, and lately I’ve started coughing up large, bloody black globs of mucous. At least, I hope it’s mucous. Should I be concerned? Yes, I would be concerned. However, there are treatment options. We can try blood letting, leeches, and, of course, morphine. Actually, those are treatments listed for pleurisy, which is an entirely different problem. I just really wanted to say blood letting. ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/37 "2004-08-27T20:13:08Z")
> [@DeVena](#): > > I have hives, big ones. All over, never ceasing. And from time to time my tongue will swell. What’s to be done with me? > > [crossing fingers] c’mon opium!! [/cf] That’s a difficult problem. I cannot find hives or urticaria in my reference, or anything that even sounds like it, and I can’t find swollen tongue either. Thus, I am going to wing it. You’re obviously hysterical, so sure, have some opium. Want some leeches for your tongue? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/38 "2004-08-28T01:09:59Z")
> [@Mishell](#): > > Yes, I would be concerned. However, there are treatment options. We can try blood letting, leeches, and, of course, morphine. Can we start with the morphine? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/39 "2004-08-28T02:19:33Z")
I suffer from consumption, and my wife from dropsy. What can you prescribe for us? ---
**Author:** ![Morelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Morelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morelin)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565/40 "2004-08-28T03:46:23Z")
I think I’ve come down with scarlet fever. What should I do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-treatment-options-in-1899/261565.md?page=3)