# Your Wierdest Fantasy/Fetish **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640 "2001-04-03T14:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/141 "2001-04-06T17:05:06Z")
silent rob: Oh sweetie, esoteric equipment and creativity…now I just need to get to Canada… Fallen Angel: kind of notes? Oh pretty much any kind of notes, I have a few odd phrases scribbled here and there and I like seeing how I can improve them. Not to mention the big soft spot I have for goths with long hair. (hijak: TEN hours and I see mine! _does the bouncy happy dance_) Fantasy/Reality: The thread in GD about SMBD was a good place to discuss this serious stuff. One of my comments, that I hold to, is that I am a sub, not a doormat. I talk over what’s going to happen and what I like first, and nothing uncomfortable should happen for either party. People kink different ways, sex is for fun, and no one should do anything they don’t like. Now if I like my SO tying me up and talking dirty, its not non consentual anymore is it? The minute it becomes non consentual its bad and they lose their balls. (As soon as I get out of these ropes…) But until then, worrying other people or no, its my way of having fun. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/142 "2001-04-06T17:14:58Z")
_slaps her fluffy empty head_ Lets try those initials again, shall we? And a bit slower for the blonde at the keyboard. BDSM. Much better… ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/143 "2001-04-06T20:09:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\*:: **Bunny** walks in, wearing a leather corset, black leather thong 6" stilleto boots.:: > /crack of riding crop/ > > Y’all have been very, _very_ bad. Bend over for your punishment! > \*\* Heh. I hope you use your IRL name and not your screen name when topping. “Mistress Bunnygirl” is just too tough to say without giggling. It’s like a Drill Sergeant who dots her “i’s” with a heart. Thwak! “Yes, Mistress Bunnygirl!” Thwak! “Thank you, Mistress Bunnygirl!” Thwak! “Harder, please, Mistress Bunnygirl!” ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/144 "2001-04-06T21:17:38Z")
**manhattan** , our Mistress decides how she wants to be called, and you’ll not mock her if you know what’s good for you. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/145 "2001-04-06T21:58:44Z")
Hey! You can’t talk that way to **manhattan**![sub]please notice the correct spelling[/sub] Don’t make me come over there… and that’s _Master_ **manhattan** to you! [Edited by Eutychus55 on 04-06-2001 at 06:07 PM] ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/146 "2001-04-06T23:02:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > **silent rob: Oh sweetie, esoteric equipment and creativity…now I just need to get to Canada…** I’ll be waiting, darlin. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/147 "2001-04-07T03:21:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I don’t associate **non-helpless** bondage with this either, or give it any negative connotation. > > Well, we’re glad you understand and condone SOME of our fantasies. Nice to have your approval for those. > > -L \*\* Who said anything about my “approval”? Where did I imply that my “approval” mattered in any way, shape, or form to the actions of others? Why on Earth would anyone care about, or need my “approval”? Is there a serious lack of comprehension here? Just because _some_ people were attacking you earlier for being “too sexy for this Board” don’t lump me in with them. Why the defensiveness? ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/148 "2001-04-07T03:32:40Z")
I don’t have weird fantasies, mine are pretty mundane. **Dire Wolf** ’s post on the first page, I"d like to be on the receiving end of that one. Other than that the only thing I can think of is a predeliction for men in race driver or mechanic suits. ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/149 "2001-04-07T03:49:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > **Dire Wolf’s post on the first page, I"d like to be on the receiving end of that one** Duly noted. 😉 At the moment, I’ll settle for anything involving **racinchikki**. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/150 "2001-04-07T03:54:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > **I certainly read a judgemental quailty in your post. I may have been wrong but that is how I read it.** Well, you **are** wrong. > [@](#): > > **A moot point as I have no children but I can tell you that it is possible to have a complete seperation of your fantasy life and your real life. I have fantasies that are not posted here that I would never act on IRL. How many people have a fantasy about killing thier boss? How many people actually kill their boss?** Please. Don’t be so literal re: the children example. And, IMO, simply not acting on an impulse does not mean a “complete separation”. > [@](#): > > **Manny wanted to stop the hijack and get back to the good stuff. So you don’t get it. So what. You could post saying ‘I don’t get that.’ but you didn’t. As far as your claim that ‘the left’ says about womens fantasies, I’m not sure what you mean by ‘left’. Maybe ‘extreme left feminists’ would be more appropriate.** What is your real problem here? Don’t tell me how I should post. I am not going to post a handy-esque “I don’t get it” and leave it at that. Here we have a miscommunication - a problem with clarity - and it sounds like you want me to be less clear. I tried to explain. I failed. OK - so now I have people coming after me saying essentially I am mean, bad old Anthracite just come in here to spoil everyone’s fun. This reaction, rather than just, oh, I don’t know - _asking_ me to clarify, seems driven by snittiness more than anything else. > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I didn’t come in to spoil everyone’s fun. I was raped - twice. > > I find this sentence to be confusing. You say you don’t want to spoil the fun but then you bring up a subject that is a complete turn off.\*\* Try putting the post together in context and it becomes more clear: > [@](#): > > I didn’t come in to spoil everyone’s fun. I was raped - twice. I just honestly don’t understand how the abduction/forced-helpless sex thing can be pleasurable in any way. I’m trying to say that I did not come in to spoil people’s fun - these sex/fantasy/flirt threads are just not that serious. I am trying to explain _why_ I did not understand how it could be pleasurable in any way. > [@](#): > > **Thank you for sharing this with us and joing the thread.** Just like SexyWriter does need any approval from me, I do not need any approval from you. You really come off sounding like a condescending jerk. OK, since obviously some people have difficulty with this, I will explain, clarify, and elaborate. And if you want to just come in here and try to take cheap shots/score points/whatever, go to the Pit, or I will take you there myself. 1. I wanted to know to what extent the “rape fantasy” was based on _actual_ rape experience. How close to reality women wanted it. And I did originally want to know why, but realize that: a) I wouldn’t understand, and b) It’s not my damn business anyhow. 1. I don’t care what people fantasize about. In fact, I have some interesting ones of my own. Ever read the stories in the Lesbian Orgy thread? I am not, and did not “judge” or “disapprove” of anyone here. And I don’t have the right to do so even if I did. 2. I do not believe that fantasy means that one is completely separated - that the person with the fantasy has **no** urge, desire, or directive to experience the fantasy. I am not saying they would ever act on it. But surely, it seems to me there must be the urge, otherwise where does the fantasy derive from? This is more of a GD issue, and I have neither the research background nor time to back it up. It is my **o p i n i o n**. So you can go ahead and keep picking on me for it, it does not matter. There. Everyone please go back to having fun now. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/151 "2001-04-07T04:01:09Z")
Oops, I better clarify this so I’m not a baaaaaaaaad girl: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*3) I do not believe that fantasy means that one is completely separated \*\* I mean to say “I do not believe that a fantasy is completely separated from urges or tendencies in reality.” Or something like that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/152 "2001-04-07T04:12:47Z")
**Anthracite** , the reason you’re getting such harsh reactions is the same reason this thread is so popular. People have lots of little or big kinks that drive their fantasies. They feel a little worried about them, and it feels really good for them to be able to talk about them in a relatively safe and anonymous environment. They are already a little nervous about these ideas being out there. I’m sure a lot of people held back a lot because they couldn’t handle everyone seeing that deep inside their sex psyche or whatever. When you ask even a semi-inflammatory question, it’s going to get them riled. they are in a tough position where they are somewhat delicate and defensive. No wonder they snap back when they feel they’re being judged in a place where they are supposed to be able to write freely and safely. Understand that and everyone should be able to chill. MarxBoy ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/153 "2001-04-07T04:22:25Z")
So in other words, I spoiled everyone’s fun. OK, you started the thread. I’m outta here. Unless people want to keep firing at me some more. I’m sorry I even posted; I really wanted to try and understand something here that I have a great difficulty understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/154 "2001-04-07T04:35:56Z")
\*There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror. \* W. Somerset Maugham ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/155 "2001-04-07T05:18:07Z")
AR, nothing you do would surprise me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/156 "2001-04-07T05:23:58Z")
Heh, **Wolfie** … Supersadomasochisticexpialidocious! ---
**Author:** ![Frannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Frannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frannie)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/157 "2001-04-07T05:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > I’m sorry I even posted; I really wanted to try and understand something here that I have a great difficulty understanding. From what I understand, in the rape fantasy, the woman IS in control, cuz it’s a FANTASY. That makes it much different than “real” rape. It’s soooooooooo much different! I can only _begin_ to understand “real” rape, cuz I was able to free myself from it. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/158 "2001-04-07T12:11:28Z")
Thank you **Frannie**. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/159 "2001-04-07T13:06:57Z")
**Anthracite** - I _do_ understand what you’re trying to say, and I _do_ appreciate your concern. (No, not being condescending here, being serious) Going along with what **Frannie** said, there’s also the element of BDSM with it, and that whole play aspect there. By my thinking, it’s a game (in some ways like playing Doctor/Nurse or Teacher/Student) It’s just a little rougher than the two examples I named. 😉 As with BDSM, in this particular fantasy, there are two things that are key… having a safe word and trusting, implicitly, the person that is participating in the fantasy with you. Someone that you know that when that word is uttered, will **stop**. My ex and I did BDSM from time to time. We were also in the swinger crowd. There would be times at parties that he would be asked if he would “lend me out” to some of the guys there. I **always** had final say on that. And I never said yes. Not because I didn’t trust them, but because I didn’t trust them enough for _that_. Your posts **have** made me reconsider something, though, **Una**. Maybe I need a new name for this particular fantasy. The connotations of it _are_ far too easy to misunderstand. ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640/160 "2001-04-07T13:15:35Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Anthracite_ > **So in other words, I spoiled everyone’s fun.** Yes you did **Anthracite** , well mine’s anyway. I lost my appetite for this thread after your posts because I felt **really** insulted and annoyed when you put my submissive fantasy and real rape in the same thought. I find the thought of being raped IRL completely abhorrent. I was surprised and relieved when I saw so many other women with the same fantasy as me, because as **Marxboy’s** post so eloquently said (thanks Marxboy, well said) its hard sharing fantasies thinking maybe something isn’t right with it, but then you realise other people have the same one’s and its just a _fantasy_ and there is _nothing_ wrong with that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-wierdest-fantasy-fetish/60640.md?page=9)