# Your worst examples of corporate jargon, buzzwords, and/or gobbledygook that you've encountered (New Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2025, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943 "2025-06-21T18:19:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/1 "2025-06-21T18:19:50Z")
The worst I ever saw belonged to a company called Medspeed. One day about 15 years ago I was driving along and I saw a car with Medspeed livery, and words “Now Hiring,” so I went to their website to apply. What I was met with was – and I swear I’m not making this up – something that read like: “At MedSpeed, we synergize agile logistics solutions to seamlessly optimize the end-to-end movement of mission-critical medical assets. By leveraging scalable infrastructure, dynamic delivery frameworks, and cross-functional stakeholder alignment, we empower healthcare ecosystems to achieve operational continuity, real-time responsiveness, and sustainable value creation. Our commitment to leveraging best-in-class innovation ensures that every specimen and supply chain touchpoint is an opportunity for transformative outcomes and disruptive impact.” That’s not the exact wording (thanks ChatGPT!) but it’s close enough. [Their website](https://www.medspeed.com/) is slightly less arcane now – _slightly_ – but it still has some zingers like: “MedSpeed integrates healthcare organizations through the **system-wide** , **last mile** movement of physical materials…” I _think_ what all of this means is that they transport medical this & that from Here to There, apparently in some innovative way. What are some of your examples? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/2 "2025-06-21T18:37:12Z")
It was at a job interview for Chief Operating Officer. I had a cold, so was jacked up on cold meds, which didn’t help much. I don’t remember the exact wording, but the CEO used words like “leveraging”, “infrastructure” and “networking” as I recall. When she got done asking the question, I just looked at her and asked “Can I buy a vowel?” Luckily, she and the guy with her both laughed. I explained my health issue of the moment and we moved on. I got the job, which turned out to be worse than not getting the job. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/3 "2025-06-21T19:19:43Z")
The jobs I apply to keep saying ‘must pass a drug test’ which is something I still can’t figure out. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/4 "2025-06-21T19:21:42Z")
Must-see for anyone who has to put up with this gobbledygook in their job. Bonus points if you’re familiar with Crosby Stills & Nash’s work and how inappropriate it is to this type of content. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/GyV_UG60dD4/maxresdefault.jpg ""Weird Al" Yankovic - Mission Statement (Official 4K Video)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyV_UG60dD4) ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/5 "2025-06-21T19:25:26Z")
One of the reasons I never applied at MedSpeed 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/6 "2025-06-21T19:28:19Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > “At MedSpeed, we synergize agile logistics solutions to seamlessly optimize the end-to-end movement of mission-critical medical assets. By leveraging scalable infrastructure, dynamic delivery frameworks, and cross-functional stakeholder alignment, we empower healthcare ecosystems to achieve operational continuity, real-time responsiveness, and sustainable value creation. Our commitment to leveraging best-in-class innovation ensures that every specimen and supply chain touchpoint is an opportunity for transformative outcomes and disruptive impact.” Translation: Must be able to drive a car from point A to point B. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/7 "2025-06-21T19:30:49Z")
If you showed that to me, I would assume it was a conscious parody of corp-speak. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/8 "2025-06-21T19:45:00Z")
Getting on for 20 years ago, staff members from a US client (west coast) used to set my teeth on edge with the word “Bandwidth”, eg - “That’s a whole project in itself - I don’t have the bandwidth for that right now. Do you have the bandwidth?” “No, I don’t have the bandwidth. Sorry.” It caused me physical pain, that word. j ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/9 "2025-06-21T20:49:57Z")
I am sick and tired of doing Value Optimization work all the time lately. It just another name for cross reduction that hurts the suppliers. Don’t get me wrong, it’s neccesary, but it sucks to listen to management constantly focus on it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/10 "2025-06-21T21:19:40Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > If you showed that to me, I would assume it was a conscious parody of corp-speak. I thought it was toned down so as to not strain credulity. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2025, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/11 "2025-06-21T22:38:48Z")
People use that word, in that way, to this day. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2025, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/12 "2025-06-22T05:12:06Z")
Not a specific example, but when “downsizing” was used in place of “corporate layoffs” to sound better but now downsizing is a bad word so they’re trying to replace it was “rightsizing” which will inevitably lead with that being replaced in 20 years. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2025, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/13 "2025-06-22T05:27:21Z")
We call it reduction in force now, or RIF. It’s been a while since I’ve heard right sizing. I find right sizing far more obnoxious than RIF. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2025, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/14 "2025-06-22T13:00:10Z")
Is this close?: > **[Google Image Result for...](https://images.app.goo.gl/jGYUqkBwLULAagLm9/)** ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2025, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/15 "2025-06-22T14:19:57Z")
I did a rant years ago\* about how hard it is to find what many companies do. A company might screw on the tops of toothpaste tubes, but their website will have stock pictures of good looking people in an office smiling at each other and will say they are synergizing technology or something, before telling me all about their DEI / green initiatives (I’m in favor of both, I just don’t want to see it before knowing what the company even does and/or how to contact them). \* Thankfully I can give this legwork to AI now ---
**Author:** ![Chelonaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@Chelonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chelonaut)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2025, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/16 "2025-06-23T09:51:33Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > Must-see for anyone who has to put up with this gobbledygook in their job. One line puzzled me: “Against this purple-poster-flexible-solutions for our customer base” What does purple poster mean in corpolingo? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2025, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/17 "2025-06-23T13:54:11Z")
WAG: They cater to both political parties while supporting neither? ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2025, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/18 "2025-06-23T14:37:48Z")
I think the line is > Our business plan will foster flexible solutions for our customer base ---
**Author:** ![Chelonaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@Chelonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chelonaut)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2025, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/19 "2025-06-23T17:05:37Z")
Right you are. I had problems deciffering the last part of the song, and looked up the lyrics on a site I found via google. Didn’t contemplate that it was crowdsourced and the crowd just make stuff up when in doubt. ---
**Author:** ![mtnmatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@mtnmatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mtnmatt)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2025, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943/20 "2025-06-23T17:12:52Z")
As a former English major who has made a career in tech, I have to do a lot of tongue-biting when the jargon inevitably comes out. I’ve lost track, but at some point, we began discussing “learnings” from an experiment or whatever, which was really grating initially, but I’m getting over my reaction. But this week, some junior colleague started describing what we’d come to understand after an exercise as **“the learns.”** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/your-worst-examples-of-corporate-jargon-buzzwords-and-or-gobbledygook-that-youve-encountered-new-thread/1019943.md?page=2)