# You're a comic Editor in Chief: make us angry! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 18, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845 "2009-05-18T12:34:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/21 "2009-05-18T20:01:10Z")
Bring Uncle Ben back. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/22 "2009-05-18T20:07:02Z")
Hire Rob Liefeld. ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/23 "2009-05-18T20:14:46Z")
All superhero books are canceled, until I get pitches for them that honestly do something wholly new with decades-old characters. In the interim, we publish only anthology series. Or: Each page of a book is now a single giant panel. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/24 "2009-05-18T20:39:46Z")
The illustration is boringly representative. I’m hiring only abstract expressionists from now on. For instance, the next issue of Spiderman will be rendered entirely as a blue triangle in every frame. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/25 "2009-05-18T20:47:06Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m going to require that all female characters have realistic looking breasts. Ooh, that’d work. I like it. I’d reduce the entire Marvel stock down to 4 teams - X-men, Avengers, Spiderman/Daredevil and Fantastic 4. That’s it. Use those or nothing. No bringbacks. If someone’s pronounced dead in frame by a competent authority (a doctor, someone with medical training, a god), that’s it, they’re dead. Not withstanding fake announcements for deceiving opponents like in a recent superhero film, I mean. Oh, and the standard “Wolverine cannot really die - until Christ returns” rider. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/26 "2009-05-18T20:59:13Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > The twins were later revealed to be the children of the Calculator, and Wendy’s coma was the driving force behind Calculator’s search for the Anti-Life Equation. The Anti-Life Equation can be used to revive the comatose? ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/27 "2009-05-18T21:00:48Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > I’d reduce the entire Marvel stock down to 4 teams - X-men, Avengers, Spiderman/Daredevil and Fantastic 4. That’s it. Use those or nothing. So…you wouldn’t do anything, then? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/28 "2009-05-18T21:02:27Z")
I would answer this, except that only I remember that we did this already and the winner was (Doper at that time) Mike Straczynski,\* who was transported back to implement his idea.\* ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/29 "2009-05-18T21:12:29Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Along the same lines: Batman’s new costume - pink, with fringes. Fancy! > > Making any beloved hypermasculine character gay or at least effeminate\* will have the same effect. Let’s take this one as read. Ah, a return to [the](http://davidnessle.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/rainbow-batman.jpg) [classics](http://blog.rifftrax.com/wp-content/photos/RainbowBatman1.jpg). > [@JThunder](#): > > Hire Rob Liefeld. There’s a winner. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/30 "2009-05-18T21:13:25Z")
The reincarnations of everyone who’s died and come back are rescinded . . . almost. They are gathered together in Team DEAD, a collection of zombie superheros. There will be much gnashing of teeth. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/31 "2009-05-18T21:30:02Z")
Good news, everyone! [Simon Bisley](http://www.simonbisleyonline.com/simon-bisley-pic4.html) has been signed to draw Neil Gaiman’s new [Death](http://www.geocities.com/area51/zone/9923/post3.jpg) miniseries! ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/32 "2009-05-18T21:36:20Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > So…you wouldn’t do anything, then? Come on, there’s at least three Avengers teams right now, not to mention the whole Initiative shenanigans. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/33 "2009-05-18T21:40:57Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > Come on, there’s at least three Avengers teams right now, not to mention the whole Initiative shenanigans. Exactly my point - 3 Avengers, 2 X-Men and at least 5 spinoffs thereof, a weekly Spiderman… Runaways is about the only major 616 book that’s not tangled up in one of the named groups…everything else is tangled up in Dark Reign, which is all tied up in Avengers/X-Men/F4/Spiderman… ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/34 "2009-05-18T21:44:08Z")
Send in the clones! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/35 "2009-05-18T21:46:27Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > The Anti-Life Equation can be used to revive the comatose? That was the theory Calculator was operating under. It’s not what woke Wendy, though…he never got to use his anti-life device. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/36 "2009-05-18T21:54:35Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Exactly my point - 3 Avengers, 2 X-Men and at least 5 spinoffs thereof, a weekly Spiderman… > > Runaways is about the only major 616 book that’s not tangled up in one of the named groups…everything else is tangled up in Dark Reign, which is all tied up in Avengers/X-Men/F4/Spiderman… Ah, my mistake. I thought you meant a single instance known as The Avengers. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/37 "2009-05-18T22:14:25Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Batman decides nothing can be done to avert Gotham City’s descent into squalor and becomes an alcoholic, drinking himself into a stupor every night, ignoring the Bat Signal. This actually sounds like a pretty interesting story…except that the readers would have to believe that he could _physically_ come back from alcoholism and be Batman again. It worked for Iron Man, since the tech was really doing all the cool stuff, but to go from being a drunk to the World’s Greatest Gymnast/Martial Artist in a big hurry might stretch credulty. ---
**Author:** ![planetcory](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/planetcory/32/1032_2.png) [@planetcory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/planetcory)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/38 "2009-05-18T23:02:11Z")
I’d kill Superman. Permanently. No gimmicks. Instead of being an existing character that (almost) nobody can be better than, he’ll be an ideal for the remaining heroes to aspire to without editors worrying about anybody’s powers being too powerful. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/39 "2009-05-18T23:22:38Z")
> [@stuthehistoryguy](#): > > This actually sounds like a pretty interesting story…except that the readers would have to believe that he could _physically_ come back from alcoholism and be Batman again. It worked for Iron Man, since the tech was really doing all the cool stuff, but to go from being a drunk to the World’s Greatest Gymnast/Martial Artist in a big hurry might stretch credulty. Maybe he’d have to forgo that and “simply” be the world’s best detective. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/40 "2009-05-18T23:30:59Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > The reincarnations of everyone who’s died and come back are rescinded . . . almost. They are gathered together in Team DEAD, a collection of zombie superheros. There will be much gnashing of teeth. And gnawing of braaaiiinnnss. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845.md?page=3)