# You're a comic Editor in Chief: make us angry! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 18, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845 "2009-05-18T12:34:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/81 "2009-05-22T01:45:20Z")
> [@Scissorjack](#): > > Uh, does Death _usually_ wear a half-unlaced leather bustier and a chrome thong? No, only for special occasions. > [@](#): > > And I thought the idea was that she came to visit people whose time was up, not that she machine-gunned them off burning rooftops first… Business has been slow and she’s decided to branch out. Perhaps we could thrown in a story about how with Sandman gone she’s part-timing as “Nightmare”. 🙂 > [@](#): > > To be fair, Bisley _can_ draw; I liked his run on _ABC Warriors_, because his hard-rockin’ style is well-suited to depicting war robots battling demons. I just think putting him on a more nuanced strip like _Death_ would be, um, ill-advised. I also loved his ABC Warriors, and really enjoyed his art in _[Judgement on Gotham](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgement_on_Gotham)_ too… in fact, looking again at the cover of the Batman/Dredd cross-over makes me think that Death might not be outside his scope (given a good, tough editor). Going with the OP, and freely borrowing from an idea suggested by **Love Rhombus** : have Superman get religion. I mean in the real evangelical, declaiming biblical passages (and not in the cool Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction, Ezekiel sense). That should offend and drive away some of the fans (while pleasing some of the others)… and then… have him decide – given his amazing abilities – that he **is** God… and that should heartily offend and drive away the previous supporters. Having the writer slang off at any detractors in a letters page would be icing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/82 "2009-05-22T02:16:48Z")
Marvel: ALL Spider-Man continuity since **Amazing Spider-Man** #100 is GONE. Gwendy’s still alive, it’s still 1971, & Aunt May is about to start dating Doctor Octopus. On the other hand, all X-Men continuity since 1971 is also gone. The X-editor is directed to introduce the new version of a Claremont X-character every 3-18 months only to kill the character off horribly in the next two issues. All other Marvel superhero titles are reduced to sporadic publication, with a minimum time between issues of 7 months. Except Rocket Raccoon, which retcons him to a heroin addict. Also, the graphic gang-rape of Squirrel Girl by 1970’s-style gangsters. That needs to be in there. :Reads rest of OP: Oh, OK, I’ll dump the retcons & the reduced schedules. But I’ll still have the graphic gang-rape of Squirrel Girl by 1970’s-style gangsters & junkie Rocket Raccoon. Those really aren’t that hard to imagine. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/83 "2009-05-22T02:18:22Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m going to require that all female characters have realistic looking breasts. You have no idea how many female fen/Dave Cockrum fen would **seriously** go for that. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/84 "2009-05-22T02:20:03Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Version a) Kill Batman off without setting up an obvious way to bring him back. Refuse to allow any writers to introduce one. Require all writers on Gotham-based books to have the city going on without problem, despite the lack of Batman, because they have a functional police force, and network of capes who don’t need the Bat to keep them on task. Maintain this status quo for my entire tenure. Eventually allow writers to introduce a new Batman, but refuse to let them use Dick Grayson in the role. Possibly make him non-white. (Lucius Fox jr! There’s an idea!) > > Version b) Have Wonder Girl raped and murdered…Wonder Woman becomes a misandrist avenger, breaking all contact with the JLA, starting an all-female team, and savagely beating/killing exclusively male villains. Oddly, I would love the first, & really hate the second. I’m a giant Wonder Girl fan. > [@Eutychus](#): > > The Justice League of America admits Herbie the Fat Fury and Jeffy from “The Family Circus.” A license to print money! > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Reboot all Batman-related stuff a la Batman Begins/Ultimate Marvel and make it a totally separate universe with no other non-Batman-related DC characters. > > So no aliens, mutants, demons or gods. Just Batman and his human rogue’s gallery. Ra’s Al Ghul gets a pass as he’s not technically a demon. > > At the same time, Batman is removed from all other DC titles. Actually, I don’t see what the problem is with this. That’s a positive. (And I like BATO, but it could as easily be BLATO–Black Lightning & the Outsiders. More easily, even.) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/85 "2009-05-22T02:26:55Z")
> [@Anduinel](#): > > Northstar was only going through a phase; he realizes this and proposes to Nurse Annie on the spot. Is it sick that I would dig this? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/86 "2009-05-22T02:33:50Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Have Bruce Wayne get married. Never mind how jarring this is to the character’s established personality. He meets some woman at a social function, decides she’s the love of his life and three months later marries her. **Without** telling her he’s the Batman, and then for a year or two (realtime) have stories about how he manages to conceal his double life from her. Then she finally finds out, and turns into a whiney bitch who’s constantly begging him to give up being the Batman. She becomes the most redundant and least-liked addition to the Batman mythos in history, surpassing even Jason Todd’s infamy. Then, after about ten years or so when for better or worse it’s become established that Bruce Wayne’s marriage is canon, THEN Mrs. Wayne gets killed off, in an utterly pointless and trivial story line, and from then on the fact that there was a Mrs. Wayne is completely ignored and never referenced again.\* > > \*Until another decade or two further down the road, when it turns out she managed to keep a pregnancy completely hidden from him and he finds out about the child he never knew he had. I feel oddly sure I’ve seen this done somewhere. > [@TBG](#): > > In a flashback story we learn that Wolverine was the shooter on the grassy knoll that day in Dallas. Also, Professor X knew it was going to happen ahead of time and didn’t try hard enough to stop it, instead spending the day arguing with Magneto over whether JFK had policies that were mutant friendly enough. Guilt over this is what lead to Xavier’s decision to found the X-Men in the first place. Oh, and he wiped Logan’s mind of any memory of the event, and the missing chunks of his memory ever since were a side effect of this wiping. I dunno, I might like that better than what they ended up doing. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/87 "2009-05-22T02:35:20Z")
OK, DC. Reveal that every powered individual in DC is really a spinoff of Superman, deriving their powers from Kryptonian tech or biology. Yes, even the Martian Manhunter. And the Endless. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/88 "2009-05-22T02:41:03Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > OK, DC. > > Reveal that every powered individual in DC is really a spinoff of Superman, deriving their powers from Kryptonian tech or biology. > > Yes, even the Martian Manhunter. And the Endless. You read Ultimate Origins, too, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sealemon2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon2.0)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/89 "2009-05-22T04:50:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Lumpy > Have Bruce Wayne get married. Never mind how jarring this is to the character’s established personality. He meets some woman at a social function, decides she’s the love of his life and three months later marries her. Without telling her he’s the Batman, and then for a year or two (realtime) have stories about how he manages to conceal his double life from her. Then she finally finds out, and turns into a whiney bitch who’s constantly begging him to give up being the Batman. She becomes the most redundant and least-liked addition to the Batman mythos in history, surpassing even Jason Todd’s infamy. Then, after about ten years or so when for better or worse it’s become established that Bruce Wayne’s marriage is canon, THEN Mrs. Wayne gets killed off, in an utterly pointless and trivial story line, and from then on the fact that there was a Mrs. Wayne is completely ignored and never referenced again.\* Sooooo…I’m gessing you can’t stand Mary Jane then? OK, my well-thought out editorial fiat: The JLA decide to use their godlike powers to end hunger, end poverty (using Bruce Wayne’s massive financial resources, as well as Superman selling his Kriptonian artifacts to the government). They give up their costumes becuase it’s “A waste to be fighting crime in spandex”. They then procede to “fix” governments they don’t agree with, spreading democracy across the globe Dubya style. Every issue of every title following shows various brown skinned people thankful that they had democracy gifted to them…whether they asked for it or not. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/90 "2009-05-22T11:31:04Z")
> [@Sealemon2.0](#): > > Sooooo…I’m gessing you can’t stand Mary Jane then? > OK, my well-thought out editorial fiat: > > The JLA decide to use their godlike powers to end hunger, end poverty (using Bruce Wayne’s massive financial resources, as well as Superman selling his Kriptonian artifacts to the government). They give up their costumes becuase it’s “A waste to be fighting crime in spandex”. They then procede to “fix” governments they don’t agree with, spreading democracy across the globe Dubya style. Every issue of every title following shows various brown skinned people thankful that they had democracy gifted to them…whether they asked for it or not. Hell, if a pack of gods showed up and started making sweeping political change that would be violent if we were capable of opposing them meaningfully (and I knew full well that one of them could hear atoms dancing), I’d make a point of smiling and thanking them a lot, too. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/91 "2009-05-22T14:42:01Z")
> [@Sealemon2.0](#): > > The JLA decide to use their godlike powers to end hunger, end poverty (using Bruce Wayne’s massive financial resources, as well as Superman selling his Kriptonian artifacts to the government). They give up their costumes becuase it’s “A waste to be fighting crime in spandex”. They then procede to “fix” governments they don’t agree with, spreading democracy across the globe Dubya style. Every issue of every title following shows various brown skinned people thankful that they had democracy gifted to them…whether they asked for it or not. Also done, sort-of, in a recent non-canon miniseries, but by the opposite side: The hyper-intelligent, hyper-powerful villains of the world say, “Look, we’re sick of being the ones everyone hates, while the guys that beat us up get cheered on.” (And looking at it in a highschool sociology way, it makes sense). Luthor leads a team that puts together a veritable utopia in the deserts of Africa, and invites everyone in for free food, health care, etcetera (even to the point of regenerating limbs and eyes). Of course, it’s all a front for evil mind control, yadda yadda, but I did find the ‘Hey, we want to change the world and not get punched in the face by Superman’ thing sort-of interresting. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/92 "2009-05-22T15:29:46Z")
I would kill off sweet, innocent, beautiful Gwen Stacy. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/93 "2009-05-22T19:24:20Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > I would kill off sweet, innocent, beautiful Gwen Stacy. And all of her hot, nymphomaniac clones.😃 ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/94 "2009-05-23T02:44:12Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > You read Ultimate Origins, too, huh? Nope. The New Universe after Jim Shooter left Marvel. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/95 "2009-05-23T03:06:50Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Nope. The New Universe after Jim Shooter left Marvel. Ultimate Origins did pretty much the same thing - all the superhumans on Earth - _including the mutants_ - can be traced back to the Super-Soldier project. (Although, at least they were a different splinter than the one that created the SS Serum.) ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/96 "2009-05-23T04:35:37Z")
> [@ArrMatey](#): > > Also done, sort-of, in a recent non-canon miniseries, but by the opposite side: The hyper-intelligent, hyper-powerful villains of the world say, “Look, we’re sick of being the ones everyone hates, while the guys that beat us up get cheered on.” (And looking at it in a highschool sociology way, it makes sense). Luthor leads a team that puts together a veritable utopia in the deserts of Africa, and invites everyone in for free food, health care, etcetera (even to the point of regenerating limbs and eyes). > Of course, it’s all a front for evil mind control, yadda yadda, but I did find the ‘Hey, we want to change the world and not get punched in the face by Superman’ thing sort-of interresting. Actually, Norvell W. Page’s story “But Without Horns” (published in 1940) is kind of similar. The protagonist is a detective, and the villain has mind-control powers and sets up a communist utopia. ---
**Author:** ![Anduinel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Anduinel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anduinel)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2009, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/97 "2009-05-23T06:03:43Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Is it sick that I would dig this? Yes. Not so much for wanting to turn one of Marvel’s few gay males straight, but for wishing to inflict Nurse Annie on readers again in any capacity. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/98 "2009-05-24T20:20:49Z")
> [@Anduinel](#): > > Yes. Not so much for wanting to turn one of Marvel’s few gay males straight, but for wishing to inflict Nurse Annie on readers again in any capacity. 😛 Hey, it gets her off of Alex! ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/99 "2009-05-24T21:39:46Z")
> [@Apollyon](#): > > Going with the OP, and freely borrowing from an idea suggested by **Love Rhombus** : have Superman get religion. I mean in the real evangelical, declaiming biblical passages (and not in the cool Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction, Ezekiel sense). That should offend and drive away some of the fans (while pleasing some of the others)… and then… have him decide – given his amazing abilities – that he **is** God… and that should heartily offend and drive away the previous supporters. Having the writer slang off at any detractors in a letters page would be icing. 😃 That sounds a little like [Ethan Edwards](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethan_Edwards), also known as Virtue and later as The Tiller. Another idea: Have Firestorm basically butt into every other character’s series and use his powers to make them look like fools. “The Joker has pumped poison gas into an elementary school? I’ll just turn it into oxygen then encase his head in steel. Problem solved!” and he flies away. And Batman should be forced to have someone fly him everywhere piggy-back. In Marvel, we discover that the [Apeverse](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvel_Apes) is the real one. Marvel drops all current continuity to make everyone into monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845/100 "2009-05-24T22:13:28Z")
> [@](#): > > You have no idea how many female fen/Dave Cockrum fen would seriously go for that. Heck, I have no idea what a female fen/Dave Cockrum fen even is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-comic-editor-in-chief-make-us-angry/496845.md?page=6)