Bring Uncle Ben back.
Hire Rob Liefeld.
All superhero books are canceled, until I get pitches for them that honestly do something wholly new with decades-old characters. In the interim, we publish only anthology series.
Or:
Each page of a book is now a single giant panel.
The illustration is boringly representative. I’m hiring only abstract expressionists from now on. For instance, the next issue of Spiderman will be rendered entirely as a blue triangle in every frame.
Ooh, that’d work. I like it.
I’d reduce the entire Marvel stock down to 4 teams - X-men, Avengers, Spiderman/Daredevil and Fantastic 4. That’s it. Use those or nothing.
No bringbacks. If someone’s pronounced dead in frame by a competent authority (a doctor, someone with medical training, a god), that’s it, they’re dead. Not withstanding fake announcements for deceiving opponents like in a recent superhero film, I mean. Oh, and the standard “Wolverine cannot really die - until Christ returns” rider.
The Anti-Life Equation can be used to revive the comatose?
So…you wouldn’t do anything, then?
I would answer this, except that only I remember that we did this already and the winner was (Doper at that time) Mike Straczynski,* who was transported back to implement his idea.*
The reincarnations of everyone who’s died and come back are rescinded . . . almost. They are gathered together in Team DEAD, a collection of zombie superheros. There will be much gnashing of teeth.
Come on, there’s at least three Avengers teams right now, not to mention the whole Initiative shenanigans.
Exactly my point - 3 Avengers, 2 X-Men and at least 5 spinoffs thereof, a weekly Spiderman…
Runaways is about the only major 616 book that’s not tangled up in one of the named groups…everything else is tangled up in Dark Reign, which is all tied up in Avengers/X-Men/F4/Spiderman…
Send in the clones!
That was the theory Calculator was operating under. It’s not what woke Wendy, though…he never got to use his anti-life device.
Ah, my mistake. I thought you meant a single instance known as The Avengers.
This actually sounds like a pretty interesting story…except that the readers would have to believe that he could physically come back from alcoholism and be Batman again. It worked for Iron Man, since the tech was really doing all the cool stuff, but to go from being a drunk to the World’s Greatest Gymnast/Martial Artist in a big hurry might stretch credulty.
I’d kill Superman. Permanently. No gimmicks.
Instead of being an existing character that (almost) nobody can be better than, he’ll be an ideal for the remaining heroes to aspire to without editors worrying about anybody’s powers being too powerful.
Maybe he’d have to forgo that and “simply” be the world’s best detective.
And gnawing of braaaiiinnnss.