# You're a fine example of a cop dude. Really. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 2, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669 "2010-06-02T17:11:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/281 "2010-06-11T17:17:45Z")
I’ve taken **Uzi’s** concerns to heart. In place of a beer at lunch, I did a coupla lines off my desk. Weeeeee. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/282 "2010-06-11T17:18:58Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > In that case, I was going to have a martini with my lunch, but in honor of Uzi I guzzled a pint of lukewarm gin instead. That’s still just one drink, though, isn’t it? Yup, and a very proletarian one at that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/283 "2010-06-11T17:32:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve taken **Uzi’s** concerns to heart. In place of a beer at lunch, I did a coupla lines off my desk. Weeeeee. Pfft. Lightweight. I did a coupla lines off my secretary’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/284 "2010-06-11T17:43:52Z")
Well as long as you secretary’s ass was not on the lunch table . . . ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/285 "2010-06-11T18:14:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Pfft. Lightweight. > > I did a coupla lines off my secretary’s ass. No, I’m just stingy. If you knew my secretary, you’d know she would be after her share and she’d demand to do _her_ lines offa _my_ ass. And they’d be big honkin lines.😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/286 "2010-06-11T18:24:27Z")
Someone in this thread \*needs \*a beer. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/287 "2010-06-11T18:39:27Z")
I don’t drink at lunch. However, when I went to go buy a salad at the deli, I was really tempted by the cookies. I got a big cookie. When I walked towards my car, a cop came over screamed, “IF YOU EAT THAT COOKIE, IT WILL MAKE YOU FAT!” It makes sense, because usually when I eat one cookie, I can’t stop and I just keep cramming them in there until I finally get tired and go to sleep. But damn, this salad wasn’t very filling. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/288 "2010-06-11T18:51:55Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > The only rabid insistence in this thread is what you have just posted with the implicit denial that it could never happen that someone would drink two beers rather than just one. Somehow those people who do drive drunk have had more than one beer. Can we agree on that? And the only way to get to two beers is if we drink one beer. Follow that logic? There are many accidents attributed to people drinking alcohol. Are they evil people who started out to drink more than one beer? Or, do only alcoholics drive drunk? This is the stupidest post I have ever read on this board. It should win a medal of some kind. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/289 "2010-06-11T18:53:04Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > I don’t drink at lunch. However, when I went to go buy a salad at the deli, I was really tempted by the cookies. I got a big cookie. > > When I walked towards my car, a cop came over screamed, “IF YOU EAT THAT COOKIE, IT WILL MAKE YOU FAT!” Haaa! Ya’ll are killing me today. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/290 "2010-06-11T18:55:48Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Do the forties I slam during my morning and afternoon commutes count? You are _so_ making me crave a OE right now. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/291 "2010-06-11T18:56:11Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#): > > This is the stupidest post I have ever read on this board. It should win a medal of some kind. How about buying Uzi a beer at lunch? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/292 "2010-06-11T18:56:55Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Well as long as you secretary’s ass was not on the lunch table . . . Let’s just say that some of the people eating lunch at the table were mighty annoyed. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/293 "2010-06-11T18:58:40Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > When I walked towards my car, a cop came over screamed, “IF YOU EAT THAT COOKIE, IT WILL MAKE YOU FAT!” It makes sense, because usually when I eat one cookie, I can’t stop and I just keep cramming them in there until I finally get tired and go to sleep. But damn, this salad wasn’t very filling. Personally, I think the cop should arrest your slow metabolism 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4bbf92/32.png) [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Hamsandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/294 "2010-06-11T18:59:40Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Let’s just say that some of the people eating lunch at the table were mighty annoyed. Yeah, but it’s not really an issue _per se_ since the secretary was wearing slacks over her Depends. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/295 "2010-06-11T19:05:37Z")
> [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](#): > > Yeah, but it’s not really an issue _per se_ since the secretary was wearing slacks over her Depends. The operative word here being “was.” ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/296 "2010-06-11T19:17:27Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Someone in this thread \*needs \*a beer. Ooh! Me me me! Pick me! > [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](#): > > Yeah, but it’s not really an issue _per se_ since the secretary was wearing slacks over her Depends. The real question is, was she declawed and circumcised? And is she an indoor or an outdoor secretary? ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/297 "2010-06-11T19:40:57Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > How dare you equate human interaction with the consumption of…_shudder_ alcohol? Especially the rearing of the next generation. If you can compare the basis of raising the future generation with alcohol, that should tell you of the futility of your analogy. > > Or, um, something. This is me deliberately choosing NOT to mimick a “childfree” advocate of the sort who uses words like “sprog” and “crotch dropping” in apparent seriousness. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/298 "2010-06-11T19:47:10Z")
> [@Omegaman](#): > > You are _so_ making me crave a OE right now. [Here you go.](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/__nAd50xTIYs/ShxD4nNJ8nI/AAAAAAAAA6w/CiHCFuG2pdA/s400/OE800.jpg) I even threw in a lil’ hot mama to pass it back and forth with. **apropos of absolutely nothing, a customer just told me, "you can stick it up your ass with a fist full of gravel** Hahaa! White folks got the most colorful cuss outs! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/299 "2010-06-11T20:01:44Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I even threw in a lil’ hot mama to pass it back and forth with. Nothing says “classy” like a padded bra, that’s for damn sure. Also, is wearing the tshirt of the malt liquor you’re drinking as gauche as wearing a band’s shirt to their show? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669/300 "2010-06-11T20:09:51Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Nothing says “classy” like a padded bra, that’s for damn sure. Also, is wearing the tshirt of the malt liquor you’re drinking as gauche as wearing a band’s shirt to their show? “Don’t be that guy!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-fine-example-of-a-cop-dude-really/541669.md?page=16)