# You're a mad scientist -- what animal do you breed for human intelligence? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 12, 2015, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656 "2015-08-12T14:13:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/41 "2015-08-14T16:40:12Z")
Not cats. Self awareness is something they already have far too much of-if you teach them to talk there will be only one subject. I’d go with rats. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/42 "2015-08-14T22:39:29Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Polar bears. Sure they may hate us but they’re close enough to extinction that we could take them in a fight. There are only two conservation classifications of less threatened species than the one polar bears fall into, so they’re not particularly close to endangerment. They are also one of the few species that enjoys hunting humans, so are you sure? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/43 "2015-08-15T12:53:20Z")
What part of “Planet of the Bears” was unclear? ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/44 "2015-08-15T18:01:29Z")
Don’t you need to start with an animal with a large enough area in their skull for a human sized brain, and similar enough genetics to humans that you can use crossovers? Do humans without hands still develop intelligence… ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/45 "2015-08-15T19:09:31Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > I’m going with an octopus. They’re pretty darn smart already and it would be interesting to have an invertebrate intelligence in the world. (Just imagine the political correctness issues! No more telling people to get a spine, stop being thick-skulled, etc.) I came to propose octopuses : intriguingly intelligent and so alien. So, seconded. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/46 "2015-08-15T19:11:20Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > They are also one of the few species that enjoys hunting humans, so are you sure? We’re talking “mad scientist”, here. So, enjoying hunting humans is most definitely a plus. ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/47 "2015-08-15T19:14:42Z")
Alpacas, because the apocalypse would be both cute and hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/48 "2015-08-17T19:47:07Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Don’t you need to start with an animal with a large enough area in their skull for a human sized brain, and similar enough genetics to humans that you can use crossovers? No. Birds, for example, organize their brains differently. They require less brains to achieve the same intelligence as mammals. > [@](#): > > Do humans without hands still develop intelligence… :rolleyes: Yes. People born without hands are no less intelligent than people born with hands. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656/49 "2015-08-17T20:12:14Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Having said that, I’m going with naked mole rats. Because I’m _mad_, innit? Dammit, that was going to be my choice. Human-intelligent hive animals that can chew through concrete and are absolutely _hideous_. What could go wrong? The possibility for mad-scientist yuks are endless. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-mad-scientist-what-animal-do-you-breed-for-human-intelligence/727656.md?page=2)