# You're a meat eater and you're dining with a vegetarian... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 27, 2018, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246 "2018-04-27T23:36:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/61 "2018-04-30T17:52:30Z")
I’m a former vegetarian, and when I was, I didn’t care what people around me ate. I just asked that we go to a restaurant that had vegetarian options. Now, as a reaffirmed omnivore, if I’m eating with a vegetarian, and the vegetarian dishes look good, I’ll often opt to eat vegetarian. At some restaurants, the vegetarian dishes are afterthoughts and generally unappealing… but if I’m eating with a vegetarian and either of us chose the restaurant, that means it’ll have good vegetarian options. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/62 "2018-04-30T17:52:47Z")
I like to heckle people who eat out of dumpsters. > [@jtur88](#): > > Should I be more impressed with your logic, or your civility? You’re lecturing people on civility after posting the following: > [@](#): > > I even heckle vegetarians while they’re eating BTW, I’m no longer five years old, so I can eat whatever the hell I want. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/63 "2018-04-30T18:46:35Z")
If my vegetarian friend picked the restaurant, I will often take the opportunity to try a vegetarian meal. I assume they picked the place because the food is good, so I will try something new. If I know my vegetarian dinner partner will be uncomfortable with me eating meat (and yes, in the past I’ve asked people), I’ll pick something vegetarian, because the fun of dining out with friends is way more important that me having another burger for a meal. Friendship wins. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/64 "2018-05-01T01:47:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I like to heckle people who eat out of dumpsters. **[Jerry Seinfeld]** So are you saying you’re an Anti-Dumpsterite? **[/Jerry Seinfeld]** ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/65 "2018-05-01T02:26:37Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Is this my boss? Because that might change things. Otherwise I don’t even think I would bother to eat with a vegetarian. I mean we might do other things, but in general I’m not much into food as entertainment and I’m definitely a meat-eater. When I ate with my vegetarian boss, I ate meat. He once told me the only time he’d been bothered by what other people were eating was when a big pile of crabs was served, and everyone was grabbing whole crabs and breaking them open. “I nearly hurled”. I have lots of vegetarian friends. Most don’t care what I eat, so I just eat what I want. But when I eat with my vegan SIL, we are usually at a vegan restaurant and I eat something weird made of fake meat. Because that’s typically what they have. If we are at a ordinary restaurant, I’ll get something that’s not too blatantly meat, because I know it bothers her. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/66 "2018-05-01T02:59:56Z")
**Guin** , knock it off- I’ve already moderated hm about his posts, so no provoking him further. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > I like to heckle people who eat out of dumpsters. > > You’re lecturing people on civility after posting the following: > > BTW, I’m no longer five years old, so I can eat whatever the hell I want. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/67 "2018-05-01T03:06:38Z")
If I can find something on the menu that is vegetarian and both doesn’t sound unappetizing \*and \*doesn’t contain anything I’m allergic, I’d consider ordering it. I mean, my lunches are ovo-lacto vegetarian or even strictly vegetarian 75% of the time anyway, so it’s not like I can’t skip meat for a meal. However, my luck with vegetarian/vegan restaurants has not been great - the last place we ordered from for a meeting had **one** thing I could eat, given everything else on the whole freaking (limited) lunch menu contained basil, which I’m really allergic to; hives and hints of threatening anaphylaxis after a single bite kind of allergic - so I’d be unhappy to try yet another one. Let’s go somewhere that doesn’t _specialize_ in vegan food, and I’ll have a peanut butter and jelly panini and some fruit if it makes my vegan friend happy. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/68 "2018-05-01T03:16:06Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > **China Guy** , do not insult posters in this forum. > > No warning issued, but keep it polite around here. Apologies both to you and to jturr88, I should have worded that differently. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/69 "2018-05-01T03:22:59Z")
The way I look at it is if the person was bothered by others eating meat, they should suggest a vegetarian restaurant. If I feel like eating meat, I probably will. I won’t make a big production out of doing so, or do it out of spite. But if I see something I want that’s not vegetarian, I’ll get it. If it bothers the person, they need to speak up. > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > **Guin** , knock it off- I’ve already moderated hm about his posts, so no provoking him further. Sorry, I posted that before I read your post – won’t happen again. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/70 "2018-05-01T13:51:08Z")
I will order whatever I want that is on the menu. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/71 "2018-05-01T13:56:34Z")
BTW my wife and I have similar discussions when dining with people we know who don’t drink alcohol for religious reasons, especially if we invite someone to our home. She says we shouldn’t drink in front of them. I say that if I want to drink, and it’s available, I’ll drink. I wouldn’t deliberately offend anyone, but continuing my normal habits in a society where those habits are accepted should not be offensive. It’s not my job to protect other people’s sensibilities. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/72 "2018-05-01T16:16:04Z")
My husband is a teetotaler, and I drink in front of him. He is only bothered by people getting very drunk, not by light social drinking. Your religious friends probably know you aren’t saved. If they can live with that, I doubt it offends them too much if you have a cocktail. That being said, I rarely drink unless someone else is having a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/73 "2018-05-01T17:13:39Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > My best friend’s husband is like this. I can’t eat with him. He’s so vegan he’s even against products that are designed to mimic meat because he thinks that supports the concept of animals as food. Before I knew this about him we went to a carnival together and I got my most favoritest carnie food: meat-on-a-stick. He scowled and made really ugly comments about how some poor sweet cow died and had it’s flesh stripped from it’s body for my pleasure. I was embarrassed and it ruined my good time. If I’d known he felt that way I probably would have stuck with funnel cake because I don’t eat meat to upset anyone and he looked like he was about to break down in tears. This was at least 30 years ago and as many times as I’ve met with my best friend I will never dine with him. Funnel cake? You should have gotten the veal. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2018, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/74 "2018-05-01T18:00:41Z")
If I was dining with a _militant vegetarian_ I would probably make it a point to order the rarest meat I could. Truth be known, I can count all of the militant vegetarians I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing personally on one finger. Yes, he was a complete jerk. I’ve eaten with lots of other vegetarians who never once had a problem with me ordering whatever I wanted to (and vice versa) ---
**Author:** ![MarvinKitFox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MarvinKitFox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarvinKitFox)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/75 "2018-05-02T06:21:37Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > Will you order a dish that contains meat? Or will you order a vegetarian dish just in case they’re uncomfortable with sitting across from someone eating meat? ) _They_ are very likely to order something vegetarian, with no thought of upsetting me, so why should I be concerned with ordering some meat and upsetting them? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/76 "2018-05-02T07:55:12Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Apologies both to you and to jturr88, I should have worded that differently. Accepted. Not a problem. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/77 "2018-05-02T12:00:22Z")
> [@MarvinKitFox](#): > > _They_ are very likely to order something vegetarian, with no thought of upsetting me, so why should I be concerned with ordering some meat and upsetting them? While i have met one man who avoids eating grains and most vegetables and fruits, that’s extremely uncommon. What about a vegetarian meal would be likely to upset a meat eater? Don’t most meat eaters sometimes choose vegetarian meals from time to time? A vegetarian has no reason to worry that their meal will upset you, unless they know something specific about you. Now, if a vegetarian ordered a stinky stuffed pepper…I might order a whole quail or something to retaliatate, but in general, your equivalence is silly. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/78 "2018-05-02T12:33:08Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > If I’m eating with a vegetarian I’ll order the biggest steak the restaurant has - cooked blue. Then I’ll grab it with my bare hands and wring all the juices out on my plate.:eek: Holding plate to my mouth, I’ll noisily slurp up the juices along with a few burps. I’ll soak any remaining film up with the bread and devour it making dinosaur chomping sounds.😉 So… you don’t actually _eat_ the steak,then, just the vital bodily essences. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/79 "2018-05-02T15:13:57Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > I will eat whatever is best for me to eat, and let my dining companion do the same. I have my own issues, health and otherwise, with food, and I have learned that I need to worry about my own needs and let everyone else worry about theirs. > > I am not going to tell people to adhere to my personal dietary restrictions. I regularly eat with people who eat things I can’t eat. I would hope that they would extend me the same courtesy, and if they can’t or won’t, then I won’t be eating with them. My work wife & her wife are vegetarians, as is another of my best friends. It is never a problem. The nearest thing there is to any issue is that the work wife does not want to cook any mammal products in her cookware, so if I am having dinner at her house, any such products must be prepared separately. The other vegetarian friend abstain from meat for philosophical rather than health reasons. But she still likes meat, and sometimes when she really wants to partake meet for a brief time, I will abstain on her behalf for a specified time . So that no greater number of animals will have died ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2018, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246/80 "2018-05-02T15:54:29Z")
I usually ask if anybody has any specific dietary preferences or needs before picking the restaurant; going to an asador or a rodizio with a vegetarian would be just plain stupid, going to a pasta place with a coeliac isn’t a good choice either (danger of cross-contamination). If my tablemate has that much of a problem, we should begin by checking out possible vegetarian restaurants. Mind you: I’ll need one with non-soy options, since I kind of like being able to breathe. Middle-Eastern is also a choice which usually works well. So far none of my vegetarian or vegan coworkers have had any more of a problem than the coeliacs or the diabetics. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-meat-eater-and-youre-dining-with-a-vegetarian/813246.md?page=5)