# You're a pompous, pretentious WHORE - go back to Italy! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344 "2006-06-27T13:37:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/122 "2006-06-27T17:00:41Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > How do these circumstances make my friends and I slobbering savages? I hope at least from my explanation you understand that I am not a moron. It may sound silly but make yourself a little note detailing your feelings and a copy of this threat, stick it in an envelope and open it in 20 years. With decades of relationship experience under your belt, the slobbering savages component will be more clear. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/123 "2006-06-27T17:01:53Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > It may sound silly but make yourself a little note detailing your feelings and a copy of this **thread** , stick it in an envelope and open it in 20 years. > > With decades of relationship experience under your belt, the slobbering savages component will be more clear. preview… ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/124 "2006-06-27T17:03:11Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > [Here it is!](http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34198) You mean the link at the top of this page? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/125 "2006-06-27T17:04:22Z")
OK, you know what? I’m SORRY I called her a whore. I’m sorry I judged her for her decisions. She is a modern 21st century woman who is free to do whatever she pleases. And my friends are all mature young men who have moved beyond their failed relationships with this girl. My knee jerk reaction was to call her a derogatory name and portray my friends as victims of her. However, our discussion here has showed me that I need to take other perspectives into account, and think about all of this from a less judgmental standpoint. So, I have effectively been convinced. I ask only that you read this and forgive me. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/126 "2006-06-27T17:04:23Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > I’ll say something else, too. Why? Why do you keep saying more things? It’s not helping. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/127 "2006-06-27T17:07:03Z")
Hey, look on the bright side: she could have slept with them, then come back and told them that her Italian men were so much better than they had been. So in a way, she was just being _nice_ by not sleeping with your American-coffee-drinking friends. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/128 "2006-06-27T17:09:26Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > So, I have effectively been convinced. I ask only that you read this and forgive me. Can’t … your piñataesque OP is simply too delicious to resist. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/129 "2006-06-27T17:09:56Z")
> [@Manda JO](#): > > In my experience, for some people “I’m saving myself ofr marriage” is the only reason they will accept as “good enough”, and so the other person puts it in those terms. Otherwise, saying no to sex leads to “why not?” and then you have to say “Well, I’m not ready” and then you have to deal with “Are you ready now? What about now? what can I do to make you ready? I’ll do anything. Just tell me. Ready now?” She could have just said, “I’m not sexually attracted to you and don’t want to have sex with you.” It would have hurt him, but lying to him and then shoving it in his face that she had sex with other people hurt him too. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/130 "2006-06-27T17:12:14Z")
> [@](#): > > The idea was that she was “saving herself for marriage.” This whole idea struck us as being incredibly bizarre, since this girl is the daughter of an atheist father and a non-practicing Jewish mother who dabbles in Eastern spiritualism… So, if I am interpreting this correctly, you think this girl is a hypocrite. She professed to be saving herself for marriage, and then she didn’t (and had the nerve to tell some people in her “liberal” circle about it). a) Changing one’s mind does not a hypocrite make. It is perfectly believable to me that she fully intended, as a teen, to save herself for marriage. Then she grew up a little, traveled, expanded her understanding of the world and herself, and decided that wasn’t something she needed to do. I think it’s ridiculous to hold someone to the same standards at 16 as at 21. Enormous personal change takes place over those years, some for the better, some for the worse. It’s part of growing up. b) Saving yourself for marriage does not have to be a religiously-motivated decision. She’s one of the rare cases whose parents DIDN’T tell her to save herself – unlike all the stupid Christian chastity vows that wind up getting broken by girls in the (gasp!) exact same age bracket. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/131 "2006-06-27T17:14:37Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > a) Changing one’s mind does not a hypocrite make. It is perfectly believable to me that she fully intended, as a teen, to save herself for marriage. Then she grew up a little, traveled, expanded her understanding of the world and herself, and decided that wasn’t something she needed to do. I think it’s ridiculous to hold someone to the same standards at 16 as at 21. Enormous personal change takes place over those years, some for the better, some for the worse. It’s part of growing up. No, no, she vowed to abstain until marriage FOUR MONTHS AGO. These relationships with my friends happened within this year and the later part of the last. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/132 "2006-06-27T17:16:04Z")
How long do you think it takes to change your mind? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/133 "2006-06-27T17:16:18Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > But it was a pretty tactless thing for her to bring it up with these guys. She ought to have kept it to herself. I get it…they’re the only ones who are allowed to discuss their sex lives (or lack of them…(snicker)) with other people? Mmm’kay. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/134 "2006-06-27T17:16:47Z")
> [@](#): > > No, no, she vowed to abstain until marriage FOUR MONTHS AGO. These relationships with my friends happened within this year and the later part of the last. Aahhhhh. I misunderstood that part, then. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/135 "2006-06-27T17:18:12Z")
In any case, I am doing the right thing and admitting that I am being too harsh on her. You can keep bashing my OP if you want but note that it is now not a very accurate representation of my thoughts, since my perspective has been significantly widened in this discussion. Really. I just want to make it clear that I am a mature young man who can be reasoned with, and not someone who will continue arguing a point that has been thoroughly established as wrong, digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/136 "2006-06-27T17:19:00Z")
Question: what exactly was the conversation leading up to her revelation regarding the Italian guys? If it included anything similar to the following lines, your friends got exactly what they asked for (i.e. the truth). “Meet anyone special?” “What did you get up to while you were home _wink, wink, nudge, nudge_?” “So, what are Italian guys like?” “Glad to be back with us American guys after those sleazy Italians?” “Hey, you seem really happy, want to tell us why you’re in such a good mood?” All you guys should just make your private lives a little more private from each other. Personally, I only know that two of my friends have sex, and that’s because one of them asked me if 3 days before her period was due was too early to take a pregnancy test, anf the other (she lived in the same apartment building as us) rang our doorbell one night because they’d run out of condoms and wanted to know if we had any spare! After about 16, it’s just not something you talk about with your friends. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/137 "2006-06-27T17:20:43Z")
None of us said ANYTHING about her sexual activity. She brought up her Italian sexcapade without any provocation whatsoever from us. ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/138 "2006-06-27T17:26:02Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > In any case, I am doing the right thing and admitting that I am being too harsh on her. You can keep bashing my OP if you want but note that it is now not a very accurate representation of my thoughts, since my perspective has been significantly widened in this discussion. Really. I just want to make it clear that I am a mature young man who can be reasoned with, and not someone who will continue arguing a point that has been thoroughly established as wrong, digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. I was hoping that this would be your response before the pile-on got out of control. A lot of people wouldn’t have the stones to admit they were wrong, good for you. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/139 "2006-06-27T17:29:00Z")
> [@Peak Banana](#): > > Then, one day, out of the blue, the previously pious ladies would suddenly turn on their heels, become party animals, and of course, seemingly without a care, boink a number of gentlemen. _Just like that_, apparently _without a moment’s thought_. Of course, the boinking would only commence in the company of \*other \*gentlemen. _Better looking_ gentlemen. Usually slightly \*older \*gentlemen, in their twenties or something. Not necessarily Italian gentlemen, but perhaps _guitar players_, or _bikers_, or whatever. \*Bad \*guys. Never the nice, decent young chaps who only wanted to care for the abovementioned girls, truly love them, bring them chocolates and flowers every morning. Go figure. Those older, better looking gentleman had figured out what we hadn’t yet. Men have something to offer as well. If she was not smart enough to see that, well maybe the next one will be luckier. Some of the most interesting times of my life involved adopting a “bad boy” look and outward attitude. I could shed it in a heartbeat for a job interview or meeting. As soon as I embraced the idea that I had something to offer and that her lack of desire to have sex with me was her loss not mine, suddenly it was as if someone had turned on a neon sign over my head that said “I have a huge cock and know how to use it” I rarely went more than a week without a date and had numerous little short term flings with many women over a 3-4 year period. Many of the women I dated liked the “looks like a biker but is actually a teddy bear” thing I had going on. They felt safe because I was big and dangerous looking to everyone but them. I was not by any means “sexy” by any traditional standard, and was easily 40-50 pounds overweight. Yet here I was getting more female attention than ever before, not by not caring or wanting it, but just by not forcing it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/140 "2006-06-27T17:30:08Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > None of us said ANYTHING about her sexual activity. She brought up her Italian sexcapade without any provocation whatsoever from us. It doesn’t matter. What matters is your dorky friends who think they’ve been horribly wronged by a girl who chose not to sleep with guys she didn’t want to sleep with! They’re idiots. Would they rather it be a mercy fuck? “Shit…I can hardly bring myself to do it, but OK. I’ll fuck ya. Just don’t tell anyone.” Yeah…how hot is _that_? They should be glad she didn’t do it. The shame would have haunted them forever. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2006, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344/141 "2006-06-27T17:32:25Z")
> [@micahjn](#): > > You mean the link at the top of this page? 😃 Dammit! :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-a-pompous-pretentious-whore-go-back-to-italy/362344.md?page=8)