# You're all a bunch of fucking masticators!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2002, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746 "2002-12-01T06:53:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/1 "2002-12-01T06:53:21Z")
Masticators!!! All of you. I bet some of you are doing right now as you’re reading this post! Sick, I tell you… SICK!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/2 "2002-12-01T06:54:36Z")
[embarassed]Um… I meant to say “doing it right now”. [/embarassed] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/3 "2002-12-01T06:56:50Z")
Well, I was about an hour ago…this chair’s too uncomfortable for that. ---
**Author:** ![Heloise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@Heloise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heloise)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/4 "2002-12-01T06:57:20Z")
And what do you do? Gum your food? Don’t be jealous of those with teeth. Buy your own! ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/5 "2002-12-01T07:06:37Z")
If the Gods hadn’t wanted us to chew, they wouldn’t have given us teeth! Go chew on that, eh! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/6 "2002-12-01T07:13:35Z")
I’m not masticating, really. I am quaffing, however. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/7 "2002-12-01T07:27:25Z")
_confesses_ I am doing it right now ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/8 "2002-12-01T07:35:47Z")
I’ve been masturbating … is that close enough? ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/9 "2002-12-01T08:28:02Z")
Now that we are confessing, I also matriculated. ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/10 "2002-12-01T09:05:09Z")
I’ve heard that some thespians even engage in the practice of philately. ---
**Author:** ![Gopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gopher)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/11 "2002-12-01T09:11:45Z")
I’m innocent for now…got my retainer on ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/12 "2002-12-01T11:09:51Z")
I spelunked once. But I didn’t inhale. I also tried defenestrating, but it was open and I was on the first floor. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/13 "2002-12-01T12:22:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doc Nickel \* > \*\*I also tried defenestrating, but it was open and I was on the first floor. \*\* Does it require the window to be closed? If so, I have not been doing it correctly.😕 With regards to the OP, not for several hours now. And I have not been a thespian since I matriculated many years ago. ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/14 "2002-12-01T12:53:52Z")
As a teenager I committed heterosexual acts. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/15 "2002-12-01T13:17:45Z")
Does imbibing count? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/16 "2002-12-01T14:23:11Z")
Not only am I masticating as I type this, I committed an act of thespianism this very morning! ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/17 "2002-12-01T14:36:47Z")
I have a habit of public osculation, which has caused me to be osterized by my friends and family. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/18 "2002-12-01T14:39:01Z")
Careful. If you make a Doper laugh while they are reading the Boards and masticating, they end up having to clean their computer screen. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/19 "2002-12-01T14:40:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scarlett67 \* > I have a habit of public osculation, which has caused me to be osterized by my friends and family. Osterized? That’s gotta hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2002, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746/20 "2002-12-01T15:06:47Z")
I heard you perambulated your infant son in public! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-all-a-bunch-of-fucking-masticators/139746.md?page=2)