# You're An Adult, And Someone Farts In Church
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [December 8, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389 "2010-12-08T07:53:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/1 "2010-12-08T07:53:54Z")
Can you stifle your laughter?
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### Author:  [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/2 "2010-12-08T08:05:51Z")
Me, I can’t and am definitely a #2 choice. Of course when you run out, everyone may think it was you. 🙂
Quasi
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### Author:  [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/3 "2010-12-08T08:28:34Z")
What the hell am I doing in church?
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### Author:  [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/4 "2010-12-08T08:34:23Z")
Also, I need to add that this is a regular church sermon only.
Thanks
Q
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### Author:  [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/5 "2010-12-08T09:13:54Z")
Nope. I cackle, and leave.
My grandma, would, at times during Mass, let 'er rip. Then, she’d turn to the person(s) on either side of her, and say, “Better out than in!”
OMG. Between wanting to die of embarrassment, and running out of there laughing my ass off, it was sheer hell.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/6 "2010-12-08T09:39:19Z")
I’d just sit silently in the pew.
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### Author:  [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/7 "2010-12-08T10:17:27Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#):
>
> Can you stifle your laughter?
Not a chance.
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### Author:  [@nonacetone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonacetone)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/8 "2010-12-08T10:21:13Z")
> [@cochrane](#):
>
> I’d just sit silently in the pew.
Bawahahaha!
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### Author:  [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/9 "2010-12-08T11:16:13Z")
Even as a child bodily fluid humor was lost on me.
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### Author:  [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/10 "2010-12-08T14:22:06Z")
No offense to anyone, but it seems to me that when you reach adulthood, certain jokes should no longer be rip-roaringly hilarious. Flatulence jokes top that list.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/11 "2010-12-08T14:29:03Z")
> [@JThunder](#):
>
> No offense to anyone, but it seems to me that when you reach adulthood, certain jokes should no longer be rip-roaringly hilarious. Flatulence jokes top that list.
Yah. But some people find them never-endingly funny, and laugh and laugh and laugh.
The polite thing to do is pretend it never happened, and I am a subscriber of Miss Manners’ way of doing things.
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### Author:  [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/12 "2010-12-08T14:39:21Z")
This scenario is exactly why I stopped going to church.
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/13 "2010-12-08T14:59:00Z")
I enjoy a nice fart as much as the next person, but what really used to kill us in church were my mom’s stomach gurgles. The noises would start off with a few “???” as though her stomach was awakening from sleep, surprised to find itself in church, and then proceed to make enthusiastic comments on the sermon such as “!” and “wha wha wha wha wha”.
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/14 "2010-12-08T15:19:14Z")
I thought that was why they had loud organ music & burned incense at funerals.
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### Author:  [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/15 "2010-12-08T15:22:26Z")
I thought that people who fart in church get to sit in their own pew-
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### Author:  [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/16 "2010-12-08T15:46:16Z")
> [@Khadaji](#):
>
> Even as a child bodily fluid humor was lost on me.
I’m sorry, what?
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/17 "2010-12-08T15:52:52Z")
> [@Khadaji](#):
>
> Even as a child bodily fluid humor was lost on me.
Wait, there’s _fluids?_ Because that tips the balance - I’m not sure if it tips it towards laughing or not laughing, but it certainly changes the equation. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/18 "2010-12-08T15:59:20Z")
I will cry the day I no longer find farts funny.
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### Author:  [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/19 "2010-12-08T16:01:01Z")
I don’t think I would run screaming in laughter, but I don’t think I could suppress a smile or even a snicker.
So I didn’t answer the poll.
And yeah … _liquid_ is a whole 'nother ball game. Or depth of pew.
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### Author:  [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)
#### Post date: [December 8, 2010, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-and-someone-farts-in-church/563389/20 "2010-12-08T16:14:16Z")
[Fluid](http://www.av8n.com/physics/vapor.htm)
> [@](#):
>
> The word “fluid” is a very important technical term. **It encompasses both gas and liquid**. That is, any gas is a fluid and any liquid is a fluid. Above the critical temperature and/or critical pressure, “fluid” is the preferred term, because there is no meaningful distinction between liquid/vapor/gas. But this is not an if-and-only-if proposition; the term fluid may perfectly well be applied to liquids and gases at temperatures and pressures below _T\*\*c_ and _P\*\*c_.
Bolding mine.
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