# You're an adult male being attacked in a bar - Your last fight was in Jr High - What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2012, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939 "2012-07-21T07:43:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/21 "2012-07-21T12:25:41Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > Place your forearms crossed upon your forehead as if to ward off a blow, duck a little, let him get a little close then scream “Dont hurt me!” or “I don’t wanna fight!” and then force yourself forearms first, up and forward hard. Run through him, it will be _easy_ as this simple maneuver overbalances pretty much any human’s center of gravity. This will allow you to bull directly through your opponent, and unless he _massively_ outweighs you you can easily knock him over. _ **Then run away** _. If however, you are in serious fear for your life, once he’s on the ground, kick the ever living hell out of him. Do not stop until he is sufficiently disabled. Then call the police for assistance. This is excellent advice for the untrained person. I would add[ul][li]If you don’t bowl him over, grab him by the back of the neck with both hands and head butt him a couple of times. Sort of pull his face down onto the top of your head. [\*]If you have to kick him when he is down, don’t kick. Stomp. [/ul]Also, accept that you are going to get hit, and that it will hurt. This might help with the panic every reasonable person feels in a street fight. [/li] In a street fight between two untrained persons, the angrier person usually wins. Unless you correctly define “winning a street fight”, which is correctly defined as “getting out with minimal damage and without getting arrested.” FWIW, most bar fights start with posturing and yelling, then a verbal threat, then a push on your chest, then a big swing at your head, usually with the right. You want to summon the bouncer as early in that process as possible. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/22 "2012-07-21T12:59:24Z")
I carry a knife with me everywhere I go. Anyone that tries to assault me is going to get stabbed/slashed, and yes, it is in fact self-defense. People die all the time from a simple punch to the head. That’s not happening to me if I can help it. If I go to prison over it, oh well. At least I’m alive. My kids can always visit me and I don’t think I would be sent away for very long because I’m a really sympathetic kinda guy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/23 "2012-07-21T13:05:25Z")
> [@dam0](#): > > I agree with almost everything but this. Faced with a situation in which you want to escape quickly, taking into account the person being attacked has no fighting skills, a kick to the balls may be more successful than a uneducated strike. > > Its self defense 101 IMO, fairly big area to hit with a long blunt object (your leg). And my disabled the attacker longer. I agree that trying to kick someone, a moving target, in the balls throws you off balance. Ducking and punching to the balls maybe not so much. I spent years in bar bands and managed to avoid fights , but I always thought if it came to that eyeballs and groin are fair targets. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/24 "2012-07-21T13:09:32Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > That last sentence is a doozy. I agree. I advise running if possible, and if not take your punches while getting to a position where you can run. I study the most practically useless martial art there is, historical swordfighting. Give me my sharpened Del Tin smallsword or Fierra’s scary katana designed for short people, and I can seriously fuck someone up in seconds. And I’ve been trained in 2-on-1 and 3-on-1 defense/attack, and a small amount of knife fighting as well. But without that, I’m just a girl who can run really fast when she needs to.\* - I’m assuming I’m not carrying my Glock, of course. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/25 "2012-07-21T13:12:13Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > This is excellent advice for the untrained person. I would add[ul][li]If you don’t bowl him over, grab him by the back of the neck with both hands and head butt him a couple of times. Sort of pull his face down onto the top of your head. [\*]If you have to kick him when he is down, don’t kick. Stomp. [/ul]Also, accept that you are going to get hit, and that it will hurt. This might help with the panic every reasonable person feels in a street fight. [/li] > In a street fight between two untrained persons, the angrier person usually wins. Unless you correctly define “winning a street fight”, which is correctly defined as “getting out with minimal damage and without getting arrested.” > > FWIW, most bar fights start with posturing and yelling, then a verbal threat, then a push on your chest, then a big swing at your head, usually with the right. You want to summon the bouncer as early in that process as possible. > > Regards, > Shodan The Winner, written by Shel Silverstein , sung by Bobby Bare [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/JRWlnv0_svU/hqdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCOADEOgC8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-BIAC4AOKAgwIABABGGUgUShDMA8=&rs=AOn4CLCl-f31rN8GCzSh-_pRngfwAolFlQ "THE WINNER by BOBBY BARE") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRWlnv0_svU) ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/26 "2012-07-21T13:14:45Z")
Run. I have two acquaintanes, one has brain damage and the other is paralyzed from the waist down, courtesy of bar room fights. It isn’t like there are rules. It isn’t like on TV and in the movies, with balsa wood furniture flying everywhere, and later everyone laughing and sharing drinks all around and boasting. It’s an ugly assault with far-reaching implications, not just a tussle to tell your friends about, and nobody ‘wins’, no different than being attacked by a mugger on the street. Run. ---
**Author:** ![aesop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f8ce5/32.png) [@aesop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aesop)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/27 "2012-07-21T13:20:39Z")
I took karate many moons ago and my (really excellent, multiple national-championship winning) instructor offered the following advice: 1. If at all possible run away. This goes for any fight, not just bar fights. 2. If there is no opportunity to run away and the fight hasn’t started yet, step into the aggressor and shove him away from you hard while shouting, “Don’t push me!” His rationale was that that would get the attention of people nearby and give them a chance to intervene, and if asked later they would attest you were the one who got pushed. Crowded, noisy bar, everyone half in the bag, sudden altercation – I agree the witnesses would “remember” the facts in your favor. 3. If the situation is hopeless (no escape, no hope of intervention/deescalation) then as a last resort you need to hit first, hit hard, and keep hitting as long as necessary until you can get away. Don’t try anything fancy. No spinning kicks to the head, etc. If the fight is inevitable you need to seize the initiative. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/28 "2012-07-22T06:13:16Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > This is such a non issue. > > First, bar fights rarely if ever last longer than a minute before employees or other patrons break it up. > . Don’t get too complacent by believing this. One time, I was in a bar fight with a friend of mine. When I saw the bartender coming around the counter, I actually stopped, thinking that he was intervening. Ha! BF Joke! He just came out to piss and moan about it…end result, not good for hh and friend. AND, it lasted longer than an Errol Flynn action scene! Point being, don’t count on bar staff/other patrons. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/29 "2012-07-22T07:03:18Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I carry a knife with me everywhere I go. Anyone that tries to assault me is going to get stabbed/slashed, and yes, it is in fact self-defense. People die all the time from a simple punch to the head. That’s not happening to me if I can help it. If I go to prison over it, oh well. At least I’m alive. My kids can always visit me and I don’t think I would be sent away for very long because I’m a really sympathetic kinda guy. > > 😃 So you’re gonna be the guy that stabbed someone? That always ends well. Good thing prison isn’t that bad for you. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/30 "2012-07-22T07:11:21Z")
Something like this, I expect: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5wPcXByfY8) (bar confrontation scene from Withnail & I - action starts at about 1:50) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/31 "2012-07-22T09:04:33Z")
Does anyone actually teach effective barroom brawling skills? Would [Krav Maga](http://vimeo.com/9116506) be a good bet? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/32 "2012-07-22T12:29:38Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > So you’re gonna be the guy that stabbed someone? That always ends well. Good thing prison isn’t that bad for you. What do you mean by “that guy”? Yes, if someone attacks me, I am going to stab them and I am well within my rights to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/33 "2012-07-22T13:28:50Z")
An early response got it right. Grab something that will fucking hurt if it hits him. Pool cue, pool ball, bottle, whatever you can find. Hit him once. If he doesn’t back off or go down, hit him again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/34 "2012-07-22T13:57:45Z")
When I was 25, a younger fellow at a hotel bar took a swing at me in the mens room. I can’t punch worth a damn but I did play football in high school. I dived for his mid section and drove him up and back into the wall with everything I had (I was scared). whereupon the assailant slumped to the floor. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Cornholio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Cornholio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Cornholio)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/35 "2012-07-22T14:33:30Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Does anyone actually teach effective barroom brawling skills? Well, not quite teaching how to bar-room brawl, but how to survive proper real-life violence - Geoff Thompson (an ex-bouncer, now a successful author) runs “Animal Days” where you learn what a real fight is about (and like said above somewhere, it’s not like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse). The worst thing you can do is to go to ground with your attacker, unless you are a cage fighter, you are most likely to sustain serious injury whilst on the ground. The vast majority of brawls in boozers are “3 second fights” where someone uses some verbal to give them the excuse and opportunity to clatter you: “Did you just spill my pint?” “Pardon? I have no idea what y..” BANG. Lights Out. There isn’t much you can do about that sort of attack, apart from avoid it in the first place. There will have been danger signs, had you been aware of them, no matter how much you think the attack was out of the blue. You can find online for free one of Geoff Thompson’s publications, “The Art of Fighting” which shows how you can avoid being in a position where you are fighting in a bar, whether you are a fighter or not. Sounds like the best policy to me… ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/36 "2012-07-22T14:53:53Z")
Sounds like a good book to read, I spent way too many years hanging out in rowdy bars and have had more than my share of bar fights almost always with drunks and often over someone much smaller or a lady getting picked on. The majority are very short and not real damaging although a broken nose is common. If you are dealing with a guy in good shape and his body language makes you feel he is bad news it might be a good idea to get the bartenders attention. You really have to size the guy up, if you are stronger but really can’t fight you can often just grab him and hold him till someone intervenes. Your own intincts may surprise you, I have seen many many non fighters flat kick ass when it got down to it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/37 "2012-07-22T15:16:18Z")
The kind of bars I go to don’t have or need bouncers, and I wouldn’t expect a waiter or bartender to step between us, but I sure as hell would expect one of them to be calling the cops. Which only makes a difference is the attacker knows the cops are on the way and splits rather than spends time beating you until the cops show up. My first thought on reading the OP was to just grab a bar stool and use it as a pole (more or less) to keep him from getting too close. If we get into a tug of war over the stool, if he tries to pull it out of my hands so he can get at me, great, anything to keep the clock running without absorbing damage. Would it be illegal to grab other patrons and shove them in between us, hoping he’ll decide to pound on one of them instead of me? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/38 "2012-07-22T15:40:42Z")
To quote Arnold Schwarzenegger, “Get Out.” If you need help getting out, drop ice on the floor behind you. Knock chairs/tables over behind you that they have to get past. Throw money away from you for a distraction. Roll. Hurdle. Dodge. But keep moving towards an exit. If you do Anything back, you will be arrested, you will have to hire an attorney, and you may spend that night in jail. You’ll have to explain that to family. You’ll have to explain that to people you know who may work in the justice system. You’ll have to tap-dance that past your job, which may be one where you can’t have a criminal record to remain employed. You will almost always have to explain yourself in a courtroom surrounded by the sour smell of sweat, sawdust, and fear. Just. Run. The cops don’t care; you’ll both go to jail. Your only choice is bruised or not bruised. The DA doesn’t care: if the case is easy enough for them to win, They Will Bury You. The judge sees 8 hours of A-holes a day. If witnesses/evidence looks like you gave it back, you’re DONE. Job? Family? Jail? _RUN!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/39 "2012-07-22T15:41:25Z")
The problem with the above advice (except the “run” advice) is that you don’t know where this guy’s buddies are hiding waiting for you to get the best of him before they pounce. The above advice is very good for one on one combat, but as soon as you topple this guy, you get hit in the back of the head with a beer bottle from asshole #2 who was just watching but now jumped in when you took the upper hand. And even if it turns out to be legit, chances are you will be arrested while the cops sort out what happened. Especially if you beat the guy’s ass. That would look great for current and future employers even if charges were dropped. Find every possible way to run including behind the bar if that is the only way of escape. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/40 "2012-07-22T15:45:27Z")
Smash the balls. If for some reason the knee is easier to smash, smash the knee. If your opponent can’t stand up without excruciating pain, then all options are basically yours. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939.md?page=3)