# You're an adult male being attacked in a bar - Your last fight was in Jr High - What do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2012, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939 "2012-07-21T07:43:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/41 "2012-07-22T16:11:59Z")
Nobody else buys the aggressor a drink? I hang out in peaceful bars, like **Boyo Jim**. If someone gets in my face over a perceived slight, I laugh and offer to buy a round for us. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/42 "2012-07-22T16:37:57Z")
make a fist around my car keys and aim for the eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/43 "2012-07-22T17:00:17Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > What do you mean by “that guy”? Yes, if someone attacks me, I am going to stab them and I am well within my rights to do so. In most situations, no you are not. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/44 "2012-07-22T17:33:27Z")
Retreat, leave, say you don’t want to fight. Repeat. This ain’t kid stuff, two grown men can easily maim or kill each other. But if it does happen, I have a lawyer friend who does a lot of bar fight cases. He’s also a brown belt. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/45 "2012-07-22T18:19:35Z")
Get the fuck out, quickly. Nothing to be gained but oh-so-much to lose. I don’t get grown man fighting. Not if you are a professional with responsibilities. When you’re young it’s a suspension from school. When you’re over 18 it’s court, jail, and fines. And/or death, dismemberment, permanent injuries. Truthfully, I can’t see a scenario where I’d be in the kind of bar where this kind of shit could go down. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/46 "2012-07-22T18:25:22Z")
My strategy: 1. Look like a guy who most people would not approach to fight in the first place. 2. If someone still decides to approach me, and clearly has bad intentions, I’ll attempt to escape. 3. If that doesn’t work, I’m just going to go batshit crazy on his ass, biting and clawing and punching and kneeing and elbowing at face and throat and anything else soft until he stops fighting (at which point I’ll wait for the cops). ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/47 "2012-07-22T18:34:57Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Nobody else buys the aggressor a drink? I hang out in peaceful bars, like **Boyo Jim**. If someone gets in my face over a perceived slight, I laugh and offer to buy a round for us. I tend to agree with this. As you grow older and more mature, you should ask yourself why you are in a bar that requires a bouncer. You are sort of putting yourself into possible danger. When you go to Applebee’s, is there a big dude there ready to kick some ass? No. I think the police tend to cast a wary eye and put one strike against you for being in these types of bars and being in the fight. Most responsible people are able to stay out of those situations. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s a preconceived notion. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/48 "2012-07-22T19:00:49Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Run if possible; if not grab an improvised weapon and hit him until he’s disabled, _then_ run. You obviously don’t want to kill him, and you don’t want to find out he’s tougher than you think or has equally drunk & violent friends. Improvised weapons and objects in general can also be used during retreat. When a sober guy tried to pick a fight with me (as an adult- WTF?) placing my bicycle between me and him added a level of complexity that helped deescalate the situation. \* If somebody is becoming aggressive with you, [Rory Miller](http://www.betterworldbooks.com/9781594391187-id-9781594391187.aspx) notes that looking bored can sometimes help. It’s not clear whether all drunks will suss boredom though. In junior high saying “I don’t want to fight” repeatedly combined with a visual evidence that I’ll fight if I need to (mostly a matter of making eye contact) seemed to work for me. I was of extremely small stature at the time. I’m wary of physical confrontation among adult men. Maybe your opponent’s friend carries a knife. Or a gun. Or has heavy boots and can stomp you, even if you wrestle your adversary to the ground and apply an arm bar. Pondering deescalation and retreat strategies seems like the best preventative measure, at least relative to crude or fancy martial arts maneuvers. - Ok, the man never actually balled his fists. But I did feel threatened. More to the point, a witness from 20 feet away later told me, unprompted, that they were afraid there was going to be a fight. Me too: I wanted to avoid that. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/49 "2012-07-22T19:08:55Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Find every possible way to run including behind the bar if that is the only way of escape. Careful. I took a course in bartending on a lark years ago. The teacher, FWIW, maintained that the area behind the bar was private property and that entering it justified the use of force by the bartender. He recommended clocking the guy with a bottle, no questions asked. I was highly dubious of his advice (and still am) but the point here is that stepping into that zone can be dangerous. Yes, yes I acknowledge you said “Only way of escape”. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/50 "2012-07-22T19:15:04Z")
Whatever I’ve done, I’m sorry, let me buy you a beer. Works many many times. Ducking the punch if you see it coming and screaming loud including help me and I don’t want to fight works most of the other times. A kick to the shin is more likely to land than a kick to the balls and works really well, in fact just scraping your shoe down his shin will hurt like hell. I like headbutts but I know how to deliver one. If you do wind up fighting for your life you really will have to worry about his friends hopefully he has to worry about yours. Kick, bite, scratch whatever it takes to get the fuck up and get the hell out of there, the cops are coming, and the statement made that you will get arrested is very true. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/51 "2012-07-22T19:26:10Z")
My friends would not fight alongside me. They would scream in a horrified, yet dignified, manner. Or maybe they would ask the attacker why he was hitting me, and try to perform some kind of impromptu psychological assessment of him. Perhaps they would be so annoying that he would turn his attention from me and start beating them, but that’s the only real help I would get. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/52 "2012-07-22T19:31:25Z")
Pick up the nearest solid object and try to beat the guy down to parade rest. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/53 "2012-07-22T19:33:34Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Careful. I took a course in bartending on a lark years ago. The teacher, FWIW, maintained that the area behind the bar was private property and that entering it justified the use of force by the bartender. I’m nearly certain that this is incorrect and the bartender would be looking at a battery charge. Even if the area behind the bar is “private property” that is not a justification for force. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/54 "2012-07-22T19:41:42Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Careful. I took a course in bartending on a lark years ago. The teacher, FWIW, maintained that the area behind the bar was private property and that entering it justified the use of force by the bartender. He recommended clocking the guy with a bottle, no questions asked. I was highly dubious of his advice (and still am) but the point here is that stepping into that zone can be dangerous. Yes, yes I acknowledge you said “Only way of escape”. Only a fool steps behind the bar uninvited. There are rows and rows of weapons, not to mention the possibility of a sap under the bar. My father tended bar for about 30 years, and saw his share of brawls. The two times (that I heard about) that someone came behind the bar, the outcome was seriously detrimental to the intruder. One guy who tried to jump over the bar after him got face-planted into the hardwood. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/55 "2012-07-22T20:19:35Z")
Wot’s all this about coppers, then? No matter what you choose, don’t stick around for the cops. Quick and out. Pay cash in dives for just this reason. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/56 "2012-07-22T22:58:47Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > I’m nearly certain that this is incorrect and the bartender would be looking at a battery charge. Even if the area behind the bar is “private property” that is not a justification for force. Thank you for the clarification and I agree. IANAL though. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Only a fool steps behind the bar uninvited. There are rows and rows of weapons, not to mention the possibility of a sap under the bar. My father tended bar for about 30 years, and saw his share of brawls. The two times (that I heard about) that someone came behind the bar, the outcome was seriously detrimental to the intruder. One guy who tried to jump over the bar after him got face-planted into the hardwood. Thank you. I wanted to establish a point about the beliefs and practices of bartenders, be they based upon the law, wishful thinking, or something else. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/57 "2012-07-22T23:35:33Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > If you have your car keys with you, I always figured that was what the “panic” button was about. I’m not sure the panic button would do much good. Unless, of course, the altercation began with you driving your vehicle into the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/58 "2012-07-23T00:07:23Z")
Good thread. I found a friend in my condo complex who fights with me for fun when he gets drunk and I call him a redskin Tonto motherfucker. Even if you don’t go for the nutshot, the patella can be brutal getting the sinew of the thigh worked in. I happen to like to fight, but if you don’t and don’t have dental insurance, just back away while preserving your manhoood. If you have to fight to defend yourself, you’re probably screwed unless you go practice that shit every day or at least have some good ideas and experience. I’d go eyes on the bartender or bouncer and let them know what’'s going on. And then don’t go back there unless you have a posse. You sound kind of young – maybe just sit this one out. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/59 "2012-07-23T00:19:23Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > A kick to the shin is more likely to land than a kick to the balls and works really well, in fact just scraping your shoe down his shin will hurt like hell. Hey is this for real? I practiced some good shot up the shins with my psycho buddy, and I know for sure it hurts. You got to really grind the shoe in, though, right? FWIW my boy left hematomas about 4x4 inches on the upper arm and thigh, but I can easily believe a shin cut hurts like shit. Stories? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939/60 "2012-07-23T00:25:38Z")
Kicks to the 'nads have a very low success rate. The actual target is much smaller than you think; you can easily receive a kick to the groin that has no effect at all on the plums. Also, as previously pointed out, you put yourself in an extremely unbalanced and vulnerable position. Finally, the recipient has a decent chance of grabbing/clenching down on your leg, at which point you will end up on the floor with a quickness (and, because your legs are splayed, _your_ boys are now at risk). My advice: size up the length of your aggressor’s arms. If yours are longer, plant your palm on his forehead, stiffen up your arm, and let him flail away, cartoon-style. mmm [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-an-adult-male-being-attacked-in-a-bar-your-last-fight-was-in-jr-high-what-do-you-do/628939.md?page=4)