# You're Bin Laden. How would you have hidden? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970 "2011-05-06T15:33:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/21 "2011-05-06T19:57:12Z")
I woulda been in ur base, killin ur doodz. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/22 "2011-05-06T19:59:15Z")
Shave the beard, put on some Western attire, move to, well, anywhere. Done. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/23 "2011-05-07T00:43:51Z")
> [@](#): > > You’re Bin Laden. How would you have hidden? “I’m goin’ to Disneyland!” Which, if he shaved his beard off, would have been a good choice. He could get a job there. Wearing a Mickey Mouse suit & giant head. He’d be disguised, & in a place no one would look for him. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/24 "2011-05-07T03:24:41Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > In a cave. In Sardinia. Sigh… No one gets this, right? ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/25 "2011-05-07T03:35:23Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Sigh… > No one gets this, right? Sorry man. I’m usually pretty good with obscure references but all I hear is a whooshing sound. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/26 "2011-05-07T03:39:13Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Sigh… > No one gets this, right? I feel like it’s a _Count of Monte Cristo_ reference, but I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/27 "2011-05-07T05:04:02Z")
Live in a really congested area where there’s no room to land a helicopter nearby. Live in the US among a bunch of paranoid rednecks. Have your bodyguards use empty bottles of Jack as targets for shooting practice. Ask your neighbors to help you and your men empty the bottles before practice. Invite them to join you in shooting up shit, and make some vague reference to the gub’mint being after you about the bombing of an abortion clinic, which you had absolutely nothing to do with. Then giggle. If black helicopters appear, your neighbors will take them out. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/28 "2011-05-07T05:38:42Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Moving is dangerous, though. You could run into a border crossing. Or a police checkpoint. Or get pulled over for speeding. Or for not-speeding, but the cop is bored and looking for yucks. It’s much easier to come to a cop’s attention while moving than while staying in your home. And if the local police are honest and law-abiding, it’s also much easier to them to have a pretense to search your car than your home in most countries. > > OBL lasted ten years with many of the world’s best intelligence services doing their level best to find and kill him. Give the devil his due, it certainly seems that he either made some very good choices, hired advisors who made very good choices, or was extraordinarily lucky. That last option may have had something to do with it, but isn’t really a satisfactory explanation for such an extended period of time. While moving is dangerous, staying put was his downfall. Indian intelligence reported in 2007 he was in Abbottabad but we didn’t listen. Moving in small areas of Pakistan would’ve been optimal. Using different couriers and constantly changing personnel, would’ve kept his exact location “iffy.” OBL got complacent he should’ve know that someone in G’tmo knew his staff and would turn him in. He shoud’ve examined who was over there, as best as he could and eliminated any possibility of being turned in ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/29 "2011-05-07T07:40:07Z")
I would have passed the Osama bin Laden name off to my protege, who’d I’d been slowly teaching the ways of terrorism and threatening death every night before bed. Then, I would take my millions of dollars and gone to live like a king in Patagonia. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/30 "2011-05-07T08:26:14Z")
Well for one thing, I wouldn’t have a boatload of wives and kids to tote around with me. Staying highly mobile is a pre-requisite to remaining undetectable. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2011, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/31 "2011-05-07T09:01:25Z")
I would have hidden as a lampshade in the Oval Office. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/32 "2011-05-09T04:50:27Z")
His location was pretty optimal if he wanted to still driect things, but once they had his courier tagged it was only a matter of time. If he didn’t insist on being connected to what was going on he would probably still be safe today. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/33 "2011-05-09T05:08:33Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > I really don’t think any intelligence agency thought that, almost all of the major Al Qaeda operatives have been caught in cities, Khalif Sheikh Muhammad was caught in Rawalpindi IIRC. You can disappear in a city, in the wild areas, human habitation is fairly obvious. You can disappear in a city if no one knows what you look like - he had a pretty well-known mug. And I don’t think ditching the beard was an option for a fundamentalist Muslim like him. So I think he could have lived years in a city as long as he was content to be a prisoner in his domicile. Also if he had cut ties to Al Queda, I don’t think he’d have been found. But obviously that was not an appealing option for him either. I was always surprised that Ted Kazinski was found in a remote cabin. I had assumed he was an anonymous face in a crowd holed up in a little dump of an apartment in a big city. He might never have been caught either if his brother hadn’t ratted him out. The common thread is the associates lead to the big man. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/34 "2011-05-09T05:54:38Z")
I see him on a beach in the south Pacific. Lots of sexy women sweating in burkas. Wait, they wouldn’t work too well would it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/35 "2011-05-09T06:31:28Z")
The “shave your beard” angle _sounds_ good, but Osama was the same height as me, 6’5". When I go to the mall, my friends find me, not the other way around. 😛 In any case, it wasn’t his physical features that got him located, it was his aide. I think they did pretty well to evade notice as long as they did, and replacing his aids on a regular basis would have been counter-productive. I can’t really think of anything I could do that wouldn’t spill me in to Bond villain territory. (Volcano lair with anti-aircraft missiles, entourage of doubles, secret space station, etc). Moving between a few residences with short / no notice to my lackeys is about the only improvement I can imagine. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2011, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/36 "2011-05-09T09:58:07Z")
the key to remaining undetected is to cut existing ties and form new ones --each time you move. so you have a circle of functionaries who are just hired and discover it’s you they’re taking care of. you eventually seal their loyalty to you. your only contact from previous base of operations (for things like maintenance communication and financial requisites) will have a new control (one of your new functionaries.) if your enemies disover your old links, you can ditch them, as well as your erstwhile control. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/37 "2012-03-10T07:54:53Z")
My theory long before Osama’s whereabouts became publicly known was that he was “in some mansion in Pakistan under guard of the CIA”. There’s no way Osama could survive in a mountain cave with his health problems for the amount of years under consideration, so the “hunt for Bin Laden” in the border mountains became increasingly preposterous over the years. He was once a CIA operative, and “once a CIA operative, always a CIA operative.” His house turned out to be close by a Pakistani military compound, so it looks like he was living under guard. The Bush administration kept him alive there simply because his continued existence provided justification for the Afghanistan war, and somehow or other, the Iraq war as well. When Obama attained the presidency, he called for the end of the wars, which were not of his making, so there was no longer any political reason to keep Osama alive. So Obama fulfilled his pledge to find and capture Bin Laden, although he didn’t actually have to find him first. ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/38 "2012-03-10T12:20:11Z")
> [@Nanoda](#): > > The “shave your beard” angle _sounds_ good, but Osama was the same height as me, 6’5". When I go to the mall, my friends find me, not the other way around. 😛 _ding ding ding_ we have a winner! I’m a hiccup under 6ft (female) and everyone recognises me from somewhere (swimming, gym, horse riding) when they see me in my ‘civvies’, due to my height - I usually haven’t got a clue who they are and take great delight in crying “oh I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on!!”. OBL might have done well to take a leaf out of Queen Amidala’s book and hire several look-a-like bodyguard/decoys, then send them out around the world to live and work among society, till he became that guy who came third in an OBL look-a-like contest. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/39 "2012-03-10T12:28:19Z")
7-11 clerk in the San Fernando Valley. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970/40 "2012-03-10T13:05:42Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I would have shaved my fucking beard. …worn a suit, hidden in Texas, and have run for congress as a [Libertarian](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Paul)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-bin-laden-how-would-you-have-hidden/580970.md?page=3)