# 'You're calling to tell me my goats were having sex' **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061 "2009-12-05T02:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/41 "2009-12-07T13:03:05Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > Nope. Fly masks are a simple screen mesh. I cheerfully explain that it’s like looking through a screen door close up; you don’t notice the mesh pattern and can see through it just fine. Ditto my mare (note how she finds her food just fine and isn’t running into the fences). It’s far better than those flies laying eggs in the corners of her eyes…ick. Thanks for the info. I’ve seen those masks before. I vaguely recalled cataracts being a problem for elder horses, and so I thought they were blindfolds or sunglasses of some sort to protect their eyes from long-term UV exposure. I suppose the flies are a more immediate threat… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/42 "2009-12-07T13:14:41Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Come to think of it, my friend had gay dogs. I have a gay cat. Every time I turn around, he’s coming out of the closet. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/43 "2009-12-07T13:45:56Z")
> [@Joe Frickin Friday](#): > > Thanks for the info. I’ve seen those masks before. I vaguely recalled cataracts being a problem for elder horses, and so I thought they were blindfolds or sunglasses of some sort to protect their eyes from long-term UV exposure. I suppose the flies are a more immediate threat… Some models of fly masks have UV protection, too. ---
**Author:** ![Textual\_Intercourse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Textual\_Intercourse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Textual_Intercourse)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/44 "2009-12-07T16:24:36Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I have a gay cat. Every time I turn around, he’s coming out of the closet. You forgot to duck and run. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/45 "2009-12-07T16:35:18Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > By the way, this jackass _grooms_ roughly 7 acres of lawn and woods. There is no undergrowth in his woods, it is all mulched with redwood [looking] chips. No shit, he gets a yard crew out there weekly. I would be willing to bet he lays out what we pay a month in mortgage for lawn service. **Didn’t stop me from roundup-ing fuck you asshole in it in huge letters after he poisoned my dog**. :mad: What a worthless piece of crap - hope he dies from something as painful as what your dog died from. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/46 "2009-12-07T17:45:31Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Didn’t stop me from roundup-ing fuck you asshole in it in huge letters after he poisoned my dog. :mad: He poisoned on purpose or because dogs don’t know what little white flags on the lawn mean? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/47 "2009-12-07T18:19:46Z")
> [@horsetech](#): > > Congodwarf, one of my friend’s ponies (who was waaay too smart for his own good) did get out of the pasture, wander in to the kitchen of the house on the property (it was a nice day and the door was open for ventilation) and eat the bacon that was sitting on the stove. Ponies can eat bacon? Sorry for the hijack, but can horses digest meat? How about cows? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/48 "2009-12-07T18:25:13Z")
This is an appropriate time to bring up **The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals** : > **[Society for Indecency to Naked Animals](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_for_Indecency_to_Naked_Animals)** > > The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, or SINA \[pronounced "sinna"\], was a satirical hoax concocted by serial prankster Alan Abel. The group used the language and rhetoric of conservative moralists for the ostensible aim of clothing "indecent" naked animals, including domestic pets, barnyard animals, and large wildlife. The society and its aims were then largely presented in the public arena on news and talk shows by comedian/improviser Buck Henry (in the guise of SINA president "G. Cliffo... [http://artruch.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/the-society-for-indecency-to-naked-animals/](http://artruch.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/the-society-for-indecency-to-naked-animals/) > **[The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals](http://hoaxes.org/archive/permalink/the_society_for_indecency_to_naked_animals/)** > > G. Clifford Prout was a man with a mission, and that mission was to put clothes on all the millions of naked animals throughout the world. To realize his dream, Prout founded an organization, the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals (abbreviated as... [http://www.thecourse.us/Students/Society\_for\_Indecency\_to\_Naked\_Animals.htm](http://www.thecourse.us/Students/Society_for_Indecency_to_Naked_Animals.htm) (And I agree that the title is obviously messed up, but that’s what they called it. Probably deliberately.) ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/49 "2009-12-07T18:58:57Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Ponies can eat bacon? Sorry for the hijack, but can horses digest meat? How about cows? _Most_ ponies don’t eat bacon! I’m not sure if they can digest it or not, only that one strip of bacon is not going to upset the balance too much. This is usually one of those quirks you only see once or twice! Like my friends horse that liked Egg McMuffins… (mine liked french fries and ginger snaps, but those are made of plants). When I taught riding on the edge of a fairly upper-middle class suburb, you couldn’t count the number of parents who dropped their kids off with the admonition: “don’t get dirty!” WTF? How are you going to not get dirty at the BARN?? (and BTW, this was not some flash show barn, just a neighborhood place). One mom would require her daughter to hose off her boots, then mom would literally wipe them off with baby wipes before daughter was allowed back in the Lexus. This was not a problem when I taught riding in a more rural area. They had some idea that handling livestock is a dirty job on the best of days, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/50 "2009-12-07T19:05:09Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Kids are pretty resilient and accepting. Hey now as far as I know all goats in the story were of age. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/51 "2009-12-07T19:08:11Z")
I believed that goats and sheep were the same species (the sheep were the girls and the goats were the boys) for an embarrassingly long time. Your goats may be providing necessary educational services for children who are under the same assumption. Goats fucking is a good thing! ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/52 "2009-12-07T20:08:26Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I believed that goats and sheep were the same species (the sheep were the girls and the goats were the boys) for an embarrassingly long time. Your goats may be providing necessary educational services for children who are under the same assumption. Goats fucking is a good thing! Sheep are simply the “Larval” stage of goats, all goats start out as sheep, then they grow a wooly cocoon and enter the “Pupa” stage, eventually shedding the wooly cocoon and emerging as goats… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/53 "2009-12-07T22:38:13Z")
Just like all ponies “grow up” to be horses. Even the ones that haven’t gained an inch in 30 years. If all goats are boys and you saw two goats going at it, would you be surprised at the goats coming out of the closet? ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/54 "2009-12-07T22:54:17Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Ponies can eat bacon? Sorry for the hijack, but can horses digest meat? How about cows? Horses can be pretty indiscriminate about what they eat. There’s a video out there of a guy who trained a pony to sit in his convertible while he (the guy) drives. At one point, they head to the local burger joint where everyone gets (and consumes) a burger, including the pony. I don’t know if a cow would eat meat if you just put it in her feed bucket, but weren’t the remains of cattle carcasses routinely recycled into cattle feed in the days prior to Mad Cow Disease? ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/55 "2009-12-07T23:27:28Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > 1\> “Stop watching my goats, you pervert!” (hang up) I like this one - she could go on the offensive, and report this person to the police and/or the town hall meeting. “I’m being harassed by a pervert who watches my goats all day, and then calls me with disgusting details about them having sex!” ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/56 "2009-12-07T23:28:13Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Horses can be pretty indiscriminate about what they eat. There’s a video out there of a guy who trained a pony to sit in his convertible while he (the guy) drives. At one point, they head to the local burger joint where everyone gets (and consumes) a burger, including the pony. > > I don’t know if a cow would eat meat if you just put it in her feed bucket, but weren’t the remains of cattle carcasses routinely recycled into cattle feed in the days prior to Mad Cow Disease? There was an outbreak of trichinosis in Italy some years back that was traced to contaminated horsemeat. The only way to get trichinosis is to eat the flesh of an animal carrying in its muscles the microscopic worm that causes the disease. (Usually this is pork, only because pigs are uniquely tolerant of trichinella worms and can carry a load without appearing sick.) Therefore, the horse had to have chowed down on at least a small quantity of meat at some time. ---
**Author:** ![Hirundo82](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/919ad9/32.png) [@Hirundo82](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hirundo82)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/57 "2009-12-07T23:42:56Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > One relevant point was that Bear was an oversized Samoyed - A SIBERIAN SLED DOG. They hate heat, love cold and snow, and were developed in conditions much more harsh than you would ever see in suburban Boston. He hated being inside during the winter and he pined for the Siberian tundra. Dumb bitch. Some older women just go off the realism rails sometimes. I think there should be a special prison for them. This happened to a friend of mine last week. A neighbor came to his door to complain that their dogs–a husky and a Samoyed–were being left out in the cold. The kicker is that this is Houston. When people here talk about “cold” they mean lows in the 30’s and highs in the 50’s. The coldest it got that entire week was 27. Those dogs were probably the most comfortable they have been all year. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/58 "2009-12-08T00:46:59Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > He poisoned on purpose or because dogs don’t know what little white flags on the lawn mean? He has this [well known to animal control who has been dealing with the asshole for years] of putting down inadequate poison levels, so the moles/voles/whatever poor rodent he is after gets dosed, and wanders around convusling until some animal it twitches near eats it because it is exhibiting injured prey actions. My dog, happily enclosed in my yard which is adjoining this jackasses yard ate a twitchy critter, which I found out when she came back in the doggie door, and promptly went into convulsions in my living room. One fast visit and several hundred dollars, a necropsy and a box of ashes later, I contact animal control to be told that there is no law that mandates you have to poison rodents until they drop dead instantly and this jackwad has bagged over a dozen dogs and 3 cats _known_ with unknown numbers of ferals. None of the neighbors within our group of 7 I have spoken with have ever poisoned rodents [going by the distance animal control says is a normal rodents range] we all use kill traps as we are all pet owners. This fuckwad has no pets, and does not therefore care to make sure that the rodents are instantly dead. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/59 "2009-12-08T00:55:17Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Not quite Lake Wobegone, but charming nonetheless. You absolutely kill me sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/60 "2009-12-08T01:01:04Z")
**aruvqan** , that’s horrible! Geez…I’ve never been annoyed enough at pests to almost guarantee poisoning local pets… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061.md?page=4)