# 'You're calling to tell me my goats were having sex' **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061 "2009-12-05T02:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/61 "2009-12-08T01:17:59Z")
Sorry for your loss **aruvqan**. And yes, your neighbor really does sound like a big douche. But him having no pets does not excuse nor explain his douchey behaviour. There are plenty of decent people (me included ;)) who don’t have pets. Your neighbor’s just an inconsiderate asshole, and I’m sorry that you have to deal with him. As for the OP, I hope Santa brings the caller a large bottle of clue musk! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/62 "2009-12-08T01:39:18Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Ponies can eat bacon? Sorry for the hijack, but can horses digest meat? How about cows? As I understand it plenty of herbivores can and will eat meat if they get the opportunity; its just that they usually don’t. I recall reading of an incident where a flash flood stranded large numbers of smallish fish on the shore of a river, and a multitude of deer came out of the woods to suck them down like so much spaghetti. Meat’s easy to digest; it doesn’t take as much specialization as eating plants does. > [@cwthree](#): > > I don’t know if a cow would eat meat if you just put it in her feed bucket, but weren’t the remains of cattle carcasses routinely recycled into cattle feed in the days prior to Mad Cow Disease? Sheep too as I recall. IIRC, that’s apparently where they got mad cow disease from. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/63 "2009-12-08T02:18:27Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Ponies can eat bacon? Sorry for the hijack, but can horses digest meat? How about cows? Sorry, somehow I skipped over a bunch of posts on the first page. :smack: Yes, there are horses and ponies who are more adventurous than others and will try anything they can get their lips on. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/64 "2009-12-08T05:51:11Z")
I know a Samoyed who likes to sleep outside in the winter. She does have shelter from the wind but given a choice, unless it’s really horrible and awful outside, she prefers it that way. Also, your average lab can handle sitting in the car for five or ten minutes in the winter. Really. Labs originated in Newfoundland. Cold is not a problem for them, within reason of course. And this is Idaho. We have fairly serious winter here. Especially this week. Gaaaaaah! ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/65 "2009-12-08T05:52:46Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Meh … my jackass neighbors in the blue house to the right complained to the local magistrate that our lawn was unmowed. The lawn in question is about 60 feet by 15 feet [between the house and the road] and is less than 5% of the total property. We live in a light industrial [ie farming zone] So I explained to the magistrate about what a tiny percentage of the property the lawn actually is, and that it was a farm zone. It is not ‘in town’ at all. The magistrate agreed that there was absolutely no impact to rodent control by mowing such a small area when the balance of my property is woods and pasturage. So when mrAru got home from sea, I had him fence in the front yard so I could put the sheep there. > > The jackass had a holy shit fit, standing on my front porch screaming at me about sheep in the front yard, looking like petticoat junction hillbilly hicks and making him look like a hick 😕 and bringing down property values. he then tried to get the magistrate involved again and was told to suck it up, we lived in a farm zone. > > By the way, this jackass _grooms_ roughly 7 acres of lawn and woods. There is no undergrowth in his woods, it is all mulched with redwood [looking] chips. No shit, he gets a yard crew out there weekly. I would be willing to bet he lays out what we pay a month in mortgage for lawn service. Didn’t stop me from roundup-ing fuck you asshole in it in huge letters after he poisoned my dog. :mad: What a frickin #%$@! lop!! You know, this kind of thing is a real pet peeve of mine – people who are scared/disdainful of Nature; as if it must be groomed and clipped and managed and sanitized, all the time, in every situation. _Of course_, you want your brain surgeon’s hands to be clean. And your food server’s, etc etc. But I was reading an article in _New Scientist,_ something to the effect that IBS may be caused by an underactive immune system. And I surely wouldn’t be surprised if an underactive immune system comes from an overly sterile environment. “Weeds,” decay, fungi, deadwood, bugs and all are part of a lovely natural place, prettier than we could ever make it. (but no spiders in the house, OK?) ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/66 "2009-12-08T06:55:46Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > And I surely wouldn’t be surprised if an underactive immune system comes from an overly sterile environment. A nitpick, but it’s an _over_active immune system that is thought to come from an overly sterile environment. The child’s immune system does not develop a tolerance to foreign substances, because it was underexposed. When it is exposed, the immune system goes all Yosemite Sam producing allergic reactions and anaphylaxis. It’s called the “Hygiene Theory” and the NIH has an interesting abstract [here](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17935569). And don’t even get me _started_ on how bad an idea antibacterial soap is for everyday use. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/67 "2009-12-08T09:55:11Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > the immune system goes all Yosemite Sam Apologies for the threadjack, but thanks for the funniest mental image I’ve had all week! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/68 "2009-12-08T10:15:00Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > What a frickin #%$@! lop!! You know, this kind of thing is a real pet peeve of mine – people who are scared/disdainful of Nature; as if it must be groomed and clipped and managed and sanitized, all the time, in every situation. _Of course_, you want your brain surgeon’s hands to be clean. And your food server’s, etc etc. > > But I was reading an article in _New Scientist,_ something to the effect that IBS may be caused by an underactive immune system. And I surely wouldn’t be surprised if an underactive immune system comes from an overly sterile environment. > > “Weeds,” decay, fungi, deadwood, bugs and all are part of a lovely natural place, prettier than we could ever make it. (but no spiders in the house, OK?) I like underbrush, you get pretty plants like trillium, forget me nots, violets, ground ivys … you see wild fowls and deer in our woods, but rarely over on his property. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/69 "2009-12-08T14:55:58Z")
Years ago, I gave our miniature horse a blanket clip. Minis get a winter coat like a woolly mammoth, and in the mild SoCal winters, she was miserable. She’d get soaked in sweat after a gallop or two in turnout. A blanket clips trims the hair around the hottest part of the body–the chest and belly–while leaving a furry blanket on the back and legs. Immediately after clipping her, you could see how much better she felt–she’d buck, kick, snort and play in turn out and resume her bossing-the-big-horses-around task. Here’s [a pic of her after I finished the clip](http://www.deathllama.com/Firefly/Trace%20clip.jpg). She’s such a cute thing. Once, while leading her to a turnout, a nonhorsey observer (they come all the time with their kids to show them the pretty horseys; I don’t mind) struck up a conversation about Firefly. One of her questions: “Does her hair naturally grow like this?” :dubious: Really? Do people think that about poodles, too, when they have their over-the-top show clip? Oh…kay. This reminds me of when hubby had blue hair for fun one summer. He went to an open mic and was asked, I’m not kidding, “Oh, I like your hair. Is it natural?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/70 "2009-12-08T18:33:08Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > As I understand it plenty of herbivores can and will eat meat if they get the opportunity; its just that they usually don’t. I recall reading of an incident where a flash flood stranded large numbers of smallish fish on the shore of a river, and a multitude of deer came out of the woods to suck them down like so much spaghetti. Meat’s easy to digest; it doesn’t take as much specialization as eating plants does. Interesting! I always thought ruminates \*couldn’t \*eat meat, rather than just limiting themselves to meat that’s easy to catch. Thanks for the education, everybody. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/71 "2009-12-08T19:51:29Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > Years ago, I gave our miniature horse a blanket clip. Minis get a winter coat like a woolly mammoth, and in the mild SoCal winters, she was miserable. She’d get soaked in sweat after a gallop or two in turnout. A blanket clips trims the hair around the hottest part of the body–the chest and belly–while leaving a furry blanket on the back and legs. Immediately after clipping her, you could see how much better she felt–she’d buck, kick, snort and play in turn out and resume her bossing-the-big-horses-around task. > > Here’s [a pic of her after I finished the clip](http://www.deathllama.com/Firefly/Trace%20clip.jpg). She’s such a cute thing. > > Once, while leading her to a turnout, a nonhorsey observer (they come all the time with their kids to show them the pretty horseys; I don’t mind) struck up a conversation about Firefly. One of her questions: “Does her hair naturally grow like this?” :dubious: > > Really? Do people think that about poodles, too, when they have their over-the-top show clip? Oh…kay. My inlaws have two minis, and they’ve had looky-loo skukes (who are trespassing, and who they DO mind being there) come pound on their door and complain that the minis are being mistreated because they’re too hairy. In the middle of a Massachusetts winter. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/72 "2009-12-08T20:02:19Z")
Yes, [herbivores](http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/sheep-and-deer-eat-meat-in-wild-to-boost-diet-661077.html) can and do eat meat. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/73 "2009-12-09T20:35:48Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > On > > Really? Do people think that about poodles, too, when they have their over-the-top show clip? Oh…kay. I would bet money there are plenty of people who think a poodle’s hair grows like that naturally… ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061/74 "2009-12-09T21:59:26Z")
1. (or is it 7?) “Oh, thank you for telling me. They were scheduled to go on in the sex show in the barn at 4 p.m. Now I know to put in their understudies. If you come by for the show, I’ll see if I can get you comps.” or 1. “OK, so the costumes fooled you? You really thought they were goats?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-calling-to-tell-me-my-goats-were-having-sex/520061.md?page=3)