# You're Going to be Executed- How do you want it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 12, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330 "2005-12-12T23:00:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/21 "2005-12-13T00:45:26Z")
Bullet to the back of the skull. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/22 "2005-12-13T00:48:36Z")
Just toss me naked into freezing water. The shock would keep me calm until the drowning really set in, then it would be all peaceful and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/23 "2005-12-13T00:53:57Z")
I second the guillotine. Either that or a firing squad. Could I request they be Marines in dress blues? With a drummer? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/24 "2005-12-13T01:01:57Z")
Guillotine for me, too, complete with a tumbrel ride up Broadway and a speech on the step of the scaffold. Then, just as the blade fell, I’d make a funny face so I’d get a laugh when the executioner held my head up for the crowd. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/25 "2005-12-13T01:15:40Z")
Postponed ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/26 "2005-12-13T01:27:35Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > This is something that I have, oddly enough, put some thought into. > > Let’s say you are going to be executed for some reason; you did the crime and have exhausted all means of attempting to show otherwise. The judge decides that you are going to be put to death, but you can choose the way. Any way you want, 'cept naturally of course ;). > > What do you pick? Guillotine, as long as the blade’s REALLY sharp. I’ve always wondered how long a head can stay alive sans a body. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/27 "2005-12-13T01:37:01Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > Guillotine, as long as the blade’s REALLY sharp. I’ve always wondered how long a head can stay alive sans a body. I’m fairly certain Cecil did something on this. Yup, here it [is](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_262.html) . ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/28 "2005-12-13T01:42:03Z")
My choice would be to drink hemlock from a cup made of the hollowed-out skull of the judge who condemned me. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/29 "2005-12-13T01:44:46Z")
I think I’d go with a good old-fashioned beheading. As long as the blade is extremely sharp. I’m inclined to think it would be almost completely painless, despite how it looks. Although I have no doubt the brain is “alive” following decapitation for at least several seconds, I imagine the sudden, extreme drop in blood pressure will cause nearly instantaneous unconciousness. Works for me. Off with his 'ead! ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/30 "2005-12-13T01:48:10Z")
Wasn’t someone in England drowned in a vat of his favorite wine? That sounds like a fun way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/31 "2005-12-13T02:21:57Z")
I’m cool with any method that involves me, three beds, massive amounts of vitamin E and sildenafil citrate and at least 40 nubile teenage female virgins. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/32 "2005-12-13T02:29:39Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > I’m cool with any method that involves me, three beds, massive amounts of vitamin E and sildenafil citrate and at least 40 nubile teenage female virgins. Darling, you don’t want virgins- virgins expect you to do all the work. What you want are WHORES. See, you’re gunna die before the infections really set in anyway. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/33 "2005-12-13T02:31:50Z")
When I was younger and angrier, my typical response was, “Give me two pockets full of pennies and a skyscraper and we’ll all come down together.” I revised it to guillotine, but now I see it’s not very original, so I’ll have to revise it again. For those worried about the sharpness of the blade, don’t. The weight and momentum are enough to make up for any dullness. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/34 "2005-12-13T02:41:54Z")
Death by either alcohol or caffeine poisoning for me, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/35 "2005-12-13T02:46:07Z")
> [@soulmurk](#): > > When I was younger and angrier, my typical response was, “Give me two pockets full of pennies and a skyscraper and we’ll all come down together.” Freefalling pennies have a very low terminal velocity. Too low to hurt anyone. They aren’t stable falling edge-on and wind up tumbling instead. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/36 "2005-12-13T02:46:40Z")
Highly elaborate and ceremonial death by firing squad :). ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/37 "2005-12-13T02:49:21Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Darling, you don’t want virgins- virgins expect you to do all the work. What you want are WHORES. See, you’re gunna die before the infections really set in anyway. Hmmmmmm. That’s a startlingly good point. Okay. HALF whores! ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/38 "2005-12-13T02:52:22Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > Freefalling pennies have a very low terminal velocity. Too low to hurt anyone. They aren’t stable falling edge-on and wind up tumbling instead. 😛 Hey, I don’t go around smashing your old angsty teenager dreams, do I? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/39 "2005-12-13T02:52:53Z")
> [@MaddyStrut](#): > > Wasn’t someone in England drowned in a vat of his favorite wine? That sounds like a fun way to go. George, Duke of Clarence, brother of Kings Edward IV and Richard III, was supposedly drowned in a butt of Malmsley wine. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330/40 "2005-12-13T02:54:04Z")
I think the most painless way to go would be to be at ground zero of a nuke. Of course, it wouldn’t be terribly safe or cost effective for society, but one millisecond you’re just fine, and in the next millisecond you’re nothing but vapor (or is it plasma?). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-be-executed-how-do-you-want-it/335330.md?page=3)