# You're going to fight a duel- what weapon do you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 20, 2018, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744 "2018-04-20T01:06:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2018, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/61 "2018-04-21T01:12:12Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > M1 Abrams. I was intrigued, so I looked it up: 12 feet wide and 26 feet long not counting the gun, so two wouldn’t fit in the square. Which is a shame, because I am now picturing neither party able to bring a gun to bear and just slamming their barrels into one another’s turrets. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2018, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/62 "2018-04-22T07:36:33Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > 30 lb dead fish. Pike, lake trout, catfish maybe. Just because it would be amusing to have two people beating each other with fish. Ooohh! The fish slapping dance. ![](https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExem9pcHJ1cWhuODhyajhoeXVob3o5b3dobzkxbWI0cGsyYWpjYWw5NCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/aq30DUFeQjpmw/giphy-downsized-large.gif "Dance Fish GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY") It’s animals but not live so just weapons!? If not. Golf balls at twenty paces. I have never missed even a small tree trunk at that distance. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2018, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/63 "2018-05-05T07:20:39Z")
When these threads come up, I tend to brag about my martial arts training – who’s to know better anyway 😃 But, given the conditions, I’ll throw a twist in the pattern: Teeth/Biting. I’m going to assume the challenger will therefore choose _first blood_ – because most people of my size/strength/endurance/mentality would simply be grossed-out by the thought of trying to chew on a person until he/she is incapacitated (or dead!) :eek: and a lot of people would be pretty grossed out just by the thought of trying to bite someone else to intentionally draw blood. –G! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2018, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/64 "2018-05-05T11:35:20Z")
> [@Dr.Crap](#): > > I would bring my kindness. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > And I would _kill_ you with my kindness. And I would bring my song. If you think “killing me softly with his song” is merely metaphorical, you haven’t heard me sing. Even my wife and son tell me to STFU. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/65 "2018-05-06T01:06:41Z")
Dicks. Our duel will be a dickfight. An awesome dickfight. The other guy had better be careful not to step on his dick. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/66 "2018-05-06T01:25:34Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > The person who accepted chooses the weapons both parties will use. There appears to be nothing in the rules that requires both parties use the SAME weapon. So I choose a hand grenade for me, and a throw pillow for my opponent.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/67 "2018-05-06T02:42:17Z")
Slings, à la David and Goliath. Living in this hypothetical universe I would be aware of the possibility of being challenged to a duel and would have become proficient in an unconventional weapon. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/68 "2018-05-06T04:42:48Z")
(TLDR, so shrug) Duelling pistols. I can hit the broadside of a barn with a handgun and a lotta guys can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/69 "2018-05-06T13:58:11Z")
Either unarmed combat or single sticks. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2018, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/70 "2018-05-06T16:07:30Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > There appears to be nothing in the rules that requires both parties use the SAME weapon. So I choose a hand grenade for me, and a throw pillow for my opponent.😃 Wouldn’t a hand grenade be barred as an explosive? (That is not stopping me from imagining you being suffocated with the throw pillow while you fumble with the pin on the grenade. :)) ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/71 "2018-05-07T02:27:46Z")
If I’m the challenged party I get to choose the weapons, right? He gets a water balloon filled with pure dihydrogen monoxide. I get a full auto Thompson with the vertical foregrip and loaded with a 100 round drum magazine. And 2 spare drums. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/72 "2018-05-07T02:58:20Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Wouldn’t a hand grenade be barred as an explosive? (That is not stopping me from imagining you being suffocated with the throw pillow while you fumble with the pin on the grenade. :)) Fine, then I’ll go with \*\*Ranger Jeff’\*\*s fully automatic machine gun and extra ammo:p. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/73 "2018-05-07T04:51:13Z")
Food fight. Even in loss, everyone wins. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/74 "2018-05-07T05:17:12Z")
a .45 automatic. One round in a clip, clip not loaded. Safety’s on. I give it a 80/20 he wont figure how to load, chamber, take safety off and fire before i will. Or a sword and shield, unless a shield counts are armor. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/75 "2018-05-07T05:18:16Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > If I’m the challenged party I get to choose the weapons, right? He gets a water balloon filled with pure dihydrogen monoxide. I get a full auto Thompson with the vertical foregrip and loaded with a 100 round drum magazine. And 2 spare drums. You both get the same weapons. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/76 "2018-05-07T14:14:42Z")
> [@3trew](#): > > Machetes. The space is too small for rapiers, I have about a 50/50 shot of getting off first, and fully accept that victory in a knife fight means you made it to the ER. It’s a 20 foot square. A fencing piste is only 6 feet wide (though it’s more like 40 feet long). I’ll take a rapier. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/77 "2018-05-07T14:56:58Z")
I would choose [mu-fois](http://www.tv.com/shows/love-american-style/love-and-the-duel-63477/). ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2018, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744/78 "2018-05-07T17:34:23Z")
[A lirpa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JJdyp7GPuc&t=47s) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-going-to-fight-a-duel-what-weapon-do-you-choose/812744.md?page=3)