# You're Hitler. When do you call it quits? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 21, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482 "2011-01-21T19:05:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Amazing\_Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/977dab/32.png) [@The\_Amazing\_Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Amazing_Hanna)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/1 "2011-01-21T19:05:41Z")
A counterfactual scenario: You’re Hitler. It’s 1933. One stormy evening a strange-looking machine materializes in your office and is instantly riddled with Sturmgewehr bullets from your attentive guards, killing its surprised-looking lab-coated passenger. In the trunk of the vessel, which unfortunately proves beyond repair or analysis, you find a paperback history book ostensibly printed in New York at the far-future date of 2011. After reading the book, your fiendish mind immediately starts scheming. Apparently, you can easily make some substantial gains early in a war, but eventually you will lose if you bite off more than you can chew. Given that you wish for as powerful a Reich as possible when the dust settles, what would you do? When would you stop attacking and concentrate on consolidation and defense? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/2 "2011-01-21T19:10:20Z")
For starters, you do not invade Russia, and hope like hell they don’t invade you…while fortifying your eastern border. Also, you now know when and where D-Day will happen, so you beef up defenses there. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/3 "2011-01-21T19:11:55Z")
Nice try Fuehrer. We know you captured the time machine intact and you’ll get no advice here. Although … everybody knows you should never start a land war in Asia. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/4 "2011-01-21T19:13:27Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Also, you now know when and where D-Day will happen, so you beef up defenses there. Well no, because absent Barbarossa, Overlord certainly doesn’t happen the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/5 "2011-01-21T19:13:28Z")
I’d skip attacking the Soviets and skip the Battle of Britain then consolidate power over Europe and the Med. Once those were well in hand I might go after Great Britain and once they were pacified think about the Soviets. Granted this gives Stalin room to become a bigger problem but frankly Russia under Stalin was a big mess. Not sure how much more of a threat Stalin could become. The Germans would then have better tanks at hand and could avoid some of the more obvious mistakes the book should point out. If the Germans welcomed Soviet troops who surrendered they’d have a much easier go of it (indeed at the start of the invasion into Russia many saw the Germans as liberators…when it became apparent the Germans would shoot them and their own side would shoot them if they didn’t fight they did the only thing they could…fought to the death). ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/6 "2011-01-21T19:13:34Z")
This must be some kind of Godwinizing record. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/7 "2011-01-21T19:15:36Z")
I would call it quits immediately after signing the peace treaty with Great Britain. I’m tempted to stop after the invasion of France, but in the end I’d probably play it safe. ETA: Make that after the invasion of the rest of Czechoslovakia. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/8 "2011-01-21T19:24:39Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > ETA: Make that after the invasion of the rest of Czechoslovakia. No, wait - Poland. I could get away with Poland. ---
**Author:** ![A.Selene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ec8ea/32.png) [@A.Selene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.Selene)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/9 "2011-01-21T19:27:16Z")
I’d push at Dunkirk and capture many more of the Allied soldiers, continue to strike at industrial centers in the Battle of Britain and hopefully force the British to accept a peace treaty, beef up my navy to discourage the British and the Americans, then prepare for the Soviets. I imagine that eventually there’s going to be a conflict between the Germans and the Soviets no matter what happens - but properly prepared and supported, perhaps the Germans could win. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/10 "2011-01-21T19:27:16Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > No, wait - Poland. I could get away with Poland. From there the Soviet Union is easy pickings. Just one good push and you’ll have all the room you’ll ever need. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/11 "2011-01-21T19:27:18Z")
Take and hold the continent. Ignore the Soviets. Consolidate and then take as much of the Middle Eastern oil fields as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/12 "2011-01-21T19:29:45Z")
Stop after the Sudetenland, at least for a while. Give Germany time to absorb the new territory she got and ratchet down the international tension and anti-German feeling. Improve relations with Hungary, Romania, the Baltics and Poland. Then, when things have calmed down, start trying to gain back Memel, the Corridor, and Danzing diplomatically. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/13 "2011-01-21T19:33:12Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > From there the Soviet Union is easy pickings. Just one good push and you’ll have all the room you’ll ever need. They are rather like potato chips, but no way am I gonna eat the whole dang bag. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/14 "2011-01-21T19:36:07Z")
[ul][li]Concentrate on developing radar before starting any wars.[/li][li]Stick strictly to military targets during the Battle of Britain.[/li][li]Follow up at Dunkirk. If I can capture those 300,000 Brits…[/li][li]Do not invade Russia.[/ul][/li]Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/15 "2011-01-21T19:38:00Z")
I’d double down on an atomic program and direct the military to develop a long range bomber. That way I could strike strategically at Russian industry and turn the parts of Russia I didn’t want into smoldering ruin. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/16 "2011-01-21T19:43:20Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > ETA: Make that after the invasion of the rest of Czechoslovakia. But after you’ve invaded the rest of Czechoslovakia, your reputation is ruined, none of your neighbors except for Hungary trust you, and Britain and France are gunning for you. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/17 "2011-01-21T19:49:36Z")
Don’t alienate the Jews. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/18 "2011-01-21T19:56:19Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > No, wait - Poland. I could get away with Poland. Eh - yes, probably, but that gives you a land border with aggressively expansionist Soviet forces that love you not even a little. This raises the specter of accidental war. You’re better off trying to convince Poland that the USSR is the real threat, and turn it into a client/buffer state. Form an alliance, bring in some German bases with the consent of the government, etc. Of course, this all requires you to be pragmatic, and not insane, racist evil personified. Which means you’re not really Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/19 "2011-01-21T20:04:56Z")
One. Thing. At. A. Time. 1. Go through with the Czech War. 2. Kiss up to Britain, make the argument that the Czech thing is ‘only fair’. 3. Slam France. Knock them down. 4. Kiss up to Britain. Don’t assault the Brits at Dunkirk. Make public statements that you don’t want war with Britain. Offer assistance to the Brits to get back across the channel. Anything. 5. Tell Poland “Man, those Soviets are bastards. Needs some help setting up defenses?” 6. Blink innocently 7. Set up defenses in Poland leaning towards the USSR. 8. Take the baltic states. You need the oil and such. 9. Look longingly at the middle east. Worry about pissing off Britain. 10. Take the Scandinavian countries. 11. Watch it go tits up as NOTHING goes as the book said. 12. Wonder who this ‘Turtledove’ guy is, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482/20 "2011-01-21T20:08:32Z")
I ignore the book as an obvious Jew plot to screw with my head, continue building the thousand-year Reich, and eliminate anyone who fails to grasp the genius of my vision. I’m Hitler, after all. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-hitler-when-do-you-call-it-quits/568482.md?page=2)