# You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246 "2011-06-03T21:27:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![samjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@samjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samjones)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/1 "2011-06-03T21:27:46Z")
…and see a tortoise It’s crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/2 "2011-06-03T21:28:57Z")
I’m Vorbis. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/3 "2011-06-03T21:31:40Z")
What’s a tortoise? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/4 "2011-06-03T21:35:20Z")
I am programmed to help tortoises, so I have NO idea why not. Perhaps a malfunction in an error-trapping routine. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/5 "2011-06-03T21:36:50Z")
I’m a roadrunner, and I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Damfino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Damfino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damfino)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/6 "2011-06-03T21:37:05Z")
One flip per tortoise. That’s the rule. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/7 "2011-06-03T21:42:12Z")
My mother? You wanna talk about my mother? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/8 "2011-06-03T21:46:05Z")
You’ve been reading _Small Gods_? In that case, the answer is: because Vorbis is a jerk. That’s why. Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but “Vorbis is a jerk” will suffice. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/9 "2011-06-03T21:46:17Z")
The tortoise killed my daddy. Turning him on his back in the dry hot sun is the closest you can get to waterboarding him. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/10 "2011-06-03T21:46:59Z")
Don’t wanna. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/11 "2011-06-03T21:48:52Z")
I’m gazing into the sun. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/12 "2011-06-03T21:55:11Z")
I’m a replicant. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/13 "2011-06-03T21:55:23Z")
There’s some good eatin’ on a turtle. ---
**Author:** ![samjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@samjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samjones)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/14 "2011-06-03T21:55:32Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > My mother? You wanna talk about my mother? Close. The correct answer is: “What desert?” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/15 "2011-06-03T21:59:38Z")
What’s for dessert? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/16 "2011-06-03T22:03:51Z")
What desert are we talking about? High desert? Low desert? Sonoran? Mojave? The Gobi? ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/17 "2011-06-03T22:05:01Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > I am programmed to help tortoises, so I have NO idea why not. Perhaps a malfunction in an error-trapping routine. See, I’m programmed not to harm tortoises, but they neglected to also program me to not allow tortoises to come to harm through inaction. So, I was capable of flipping the tortoise over because I knew that I could flip him over again immediately with no harm done. However, once the tortoise was flipped over, I had no obligation to not allow the tortoise to come to harm through inaction on my part. \* - Full credit to whatever Asimov short story this was from…something about robots working in an environment with some minor radiation ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/18 "2011-06-03T22:13:05Z")
> [@Folly](#): > > See, I’m programmed not to harm tortoises, but they neglected to also program me to not allow tortoises to come to harm through inaction. > > So, I was capable of flipping the tortoise over because I knew that I could flip him over again immediately with no harm done. However, once the tortoise was flipped over, I had no obligation to not allow the tortoise to come to harm through inaction on my part. \* > > - Full credit to whatever Asimov short story this was from…something about robots working in an environment with some minor radiation https://www.youtube.com/embed/VvpmxY4dc4c?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque ---
**Author:** ![wintertime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c68b51/32.png) [@wintertime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wintertime)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/19 "2011-06-03T22:19:49Z")
Were you sent back from the future to protect John Connor, **Folly**?\* * * * - The Sarah Connor Chronicles, season 2 ep 9, Complications ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246/20 "2011-06-03T22:40:06Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvpmxY4dc4c](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvpmxY4dc4c) I really gotta see that movie at some point. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-in-a-desert-walking-along-in-the-sand-when-all-of-a-sudden-you-look-down/584246.md?page=2)