# You're not a doctor, stop freaking my wife out! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 27, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836 "2005-08-27T04:43:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/61 "2005-08-29T04:04:18Z")
> [@PinkMarabou](#): > > Also, keep this in mind . . . my best friend is pregnant for the third time and it’s fairly early in her pregnancy. She ovulated the same weekend as her birthday. It’s right on a change from girl to boy, so she doesn’t know. If ovulation also occurs around the beginning of the month where there is a change, it can also be hard to tell. It’s wrong for my daughter. I ovulated almost exactly in the middle of the month, so that excuse doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/62 "2005-08-29T06:18:19Z")
For my kids, one right, one wrong - what a surprise! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/63 "2005-08-29T11:06:51Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > And just who decides that someone has the right to tell you horrific and tragic tales that you have no interest in knowing? Pregnant women don’t worry enough on their own? I think a big “fuck you” (not you personally, just anyone who thinks that they have the right to “prepare” someone for a terrible outcome) is in order for all these “helpful” people. I have enough nightmares thank you. Society. Human nature. Its the way it works. Someone asked why. It serves a purpose. Perhaps without any stories (by the way, ever damn pregnancy manual works the same way - although they tend to be more factual. So does, probably, your OB - “don’t drink!” Despite their being NO evidence that occational slight comsumption has any ill effects (regular drinking of three or more drinks, sure. Any one instance of binge drinking, sure. Correlation all over the place. A sip of champagne at your sisters wedding - no proven effect) you wouldn’t have the nightmares. And if nightmares are bad now, it only gets worse once your child is no longer literally attached to you. When you can convince yourself that because they are out of sight they’ve been eaten by dingos. Sometimes being a parent really sucks. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/64 "2005-08-29T11:45:22Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > And if nightmares are bad now, it only gets worse once your child is no longer literally attached to you. When you can convince yourself that because they are out of sight they’ve been eaten by dingos. Sometimes being a parent really sucks. And after that brief phase, you enter the “I _wish_ my kid would get eaten by a dingo” stage. Fun times all the way down. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sutremaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sutremaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sutremaine)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/65 "2005-08-29T13:47:34Z")
Bolding mine. > [@PinkMarabou](#): > > You’re funny! > > Also, keep this in mind . . . my best friend is pregnant for the third time and it’s fairly early in her pregnancy. She ovulated the same weekend as her birthday. **It’s right on a change from girl to boy,** so she doesn’t know. If ovulation also occurs around the beginning of the month where there is a change, it can also be hard to tell. Eh? 😕 What’s changing fom what now? ---
**Author:** ![La\_Llorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@La\_Llorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/La_Llorona)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/66 "2005-08-29T14:02:16Z")
Hey, I know I’m not a doctor and therefore don’t have any right to freak your wife out, but honestly, tell the lady to brush her teeth. Googling pregnancy + teeth will produce more information than you ever wanted to know about the dental difficulties of ladies in the family way. Suffice it to say that pregnancy can wreak havoc on the mouth/teeth/gums, and that it’s really, really important to have exquisite dental hygiene during (and following!) pregnancy. Anyone who’s had “all their teeth fall out” (although I’m frankly skeptical about that one 😉 ) most likely had it happen _in spite of_ their oral hygiene routine, not _because_ of it. Sorry to have climbed on my high horse there, but listening to an old wives’ tale like that could really have a negative impact on your wife’s dental health. Good luck with the bambino! ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/67 "2005-08-29T16:20:43Z")
> [@Sutremaine](#): > > Bolding mine. > > Eh? 😕 > > What’s changing fom what now? Let me see if I can explain this in further detail so you understand. If you look at the chart, you will see some months are boy months, some are girl. If you ovulate near the beginning/end of a month where it changes from boy to girl or vice versa, it could be right on the line. Same thing with my friend who’s pregnant. She ovulated around her birthday (she doesn’t track her temperatures or use a ferning microscope or an OPK, and really unless you do, you have NO idea when you ovulate). If she ovulated BEFORE her birthday, she’s having a girl because her age will still have been 25. If she ovulated on or after her birthday, it’s a boy month. It changed mid-month for her because of this. > [@ENugent](#): > > It’s wrong for my daughter. I ovulated almost exactly in the middle of the month, so that excuse doesn’t work. “Excuse”? Aren’t we snippy. Unless some of you reading-impaired missed it before, I never said I believe it to be as accurate as it says. I have no idea. I have no time to interview every single person on earth to see how accurate it is. The majority of people I know match up . . . doesn’t make it true, doesn’t make it false. This is a thread about old-wives tales and other silly things women look at when they’re pregnant and I thought this would be something fun for the OP to pass along to his wife. Get a grip people. The world doesn’t revolve around you. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/68 "2005-08-29T16:35:44Z")
I tried this yesterday, and my post was eaten. Re Chinese Chart I find it interesting that the chart uses the months of the Gregorian calendar rather than the Chinese lunar calendar, especially since they don’t match up. Due to drift, the degree to which the months don’t match up and in what direction they don’t match up also changes from year to year. I have no idea how the Chinese calendar corrects for leap year (Though I know that it does) or how often. This further complicates things. I also can’t see why such a chart would be buried. The concepts of yin and yang goes back a few thousand years. The idea that the age of the mother and the month determine a baby’s sex fits both Daoist and Confucianist thought. The only movement I can think of that would be opposed to the chart is the ‘cultural revolution’ of Mao. My pregnancy and infant superstitions may be stupid, but they can be traced in an unbroken line back to annoying Jewish relatives who were being irrational and overprotective shortly after the fall of the Sumerians. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/69 "2005-08-29T16:52:37Z")
**DocCathode** , try [this link](http://www.thelaboroflove.com/chart/pred.html) which does a conversion for Gregorian into Chinese Lunar. It’s more “right,” in my silly experience. For example, it (correctly) interprets my age at WhyBaby’s conception as “Chinese Age 31 at Lunar month 7”, even though I was 29 and it was August (the eighth month, Gregorian). It’s right for me, my two kids, my mother, and my husband’s whole nuclear family (three kids, one mom, one dad). ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/70 "2005-08-29T17:32:52Z")
I really hate it when idiots predict all sorts of shit for someone’s pregnancy that has a 99.9% chance of never happening. When my SIL was pregnant, one stupid cow that she worked with told her one day, “Oh, I have a bunch of old baby clothes that I was going to bring for you today, but I thought I’d wait a couple more months because you’re still not out of danger of miscarrying yet.” :eek: what the HELL?? ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/71 "2005-08-29T17:34:52Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Society. Human nature. Its the way it works. Someone asked why. It serves a purpose. Perhaps without any stories (by the way, ever damn pregnancy manual works the same way - although they tend to be more factual. So does, probably, your OB - “don’t drink!” Despite their being NO evidence that occational slight comsumption has any ill effects (regular drinking of three or more drinks, sure. Any one instance of binge drinking, sure. Correlation all over the place. A sip of champagne at your sisters wedding - no proven effect) you wouldn’t have the nightmares. > > And if nightmares are bad now, it only gets worse once your child is no longer literally attached to you. When you can convince yourself that because they are out of sight they’ve been eaten by dingos. Sometimes being a parent really sucks. Well society can kiss my ass then. Hey! A friend has a teenager who is getting their driver’s license. I think I’ll wait until the first time they go for a drive alone and go visit. I’ll be sure to regale their mother with stories of how their daughter could be dead at this very moment, plowed into by a drunk driver or an inattentive idiot. I’m sure mom will thank me, right, for “preparing her”. I’m sure she wasn’t already worried and hadn’t given it a moment’s thought. If _I_ don’t tell her, how will she be prepared if a police man knocks on her door? Oh, I believe there is a purpose to “friends” and so-called well intentioned strangers telling pregnant women catastrophic tales – to let us know that they are self-important, inconsiderate assholes. There is a big difference between getting information from a medical professional (or a factual pregnancy manual) and assvice from some self-appointed prophet of doom. FTR, my doctor has never said “don’t drink”. He said, “We don’t know how many drinks are safe to have during pregnancy.” See how that’s different than “OMG! Your baby is going to have fetal alcohol syndrome because there’s alcohol in your mouthwash!” At this point, I don’t feel the least bit bad if these assvice givers think I’m rude. People really shouldn’t poke the (angry / exhausted / terrified / sick) bear. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/72 "2005-08-29T18:00:26Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > I really hate it when idiots predict all sorts of shit for someone’s pregnancy that has a 99.9% chance of never happening. > > When my SIL was pregnant, one stupid cow that she worked with told her one day, “Oh, I have a bunch of old baby clothes that I was going to bring for you today, but I thought I’d wait a couple more months because you’re still not out of danger of miscarrying yet.” :eek: what the HELL?? I’ve heard the same crap. First, everyone was telling me stories of miscarriage. Lately, people like to tell me about stillbirth and birth trauma and birth defects that can’t be detected by ultrasound. I’ve been told that I’m asking for something to happen because I ordered a crib before there was a baby. Well, that’s their stupid-ass suspicion, not mine. No fucking reason for them to share their ridiculous viewpoint with me. ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/73 "2005-08-29T21:38:54Z")
> [@PinkMarabou](#): > > Here’s one for you. It’s supposed to be 93% accurate. So far, I’ve only found one person who didn’t match up. Have fun and enjoy this time with your wife, pregnancy is a beautiful thing. > > [Chinese Birth Chart](http://www.chineseastrology.com/wu/birthchart.html) :rolleyes: We’re supposed to be _fighting_ ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/74 "2005-08-29T22:04:20Z")
> [@micahjn](#): > > :rolleyes: We’re supposed to be _fighting_ ignorance. Since when is having fun with an admitedly dubious game antithetical to fighting ignorance? Nothing in **PinkMarabou** ’s post can be demonstrated to be false or ignorant. The entire _raison d’etre_ of the thread was silly superstitions around pregnancy, and she provided one example. So did lots of other posters. The fact that she had a link somehow makes her more wrong? WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/75 "2005-08-29T22:52:42Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Since when is having fun with an admitedly dubious game antithetical to fighting ignorance? Nothing in **PinkMarabou** ’s post can be demonstrated to be false or ignorant. The entire _raison d’etre_ of the thread was silly superstitions around pregnancy, and she provided one example. So did lots of other posters. The fact that she had a link somehow makes her more wrong? WTF? Fair enough, I probably mistook the tone of the post. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/76 "2005-08-29T22:54:09Z")
If this were a thread about silly superstitions about pregnancy, it would have been posted in MPSIMS. Instead, it’s a thread about credulous, ignorant folk tormenting pregnant women with tales of terror from the womb. I don’t know how this thread got so far off track, but I’m glad somebody brought it up. ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/77 "2005-08-30T11:49:34Z")
> [@micahjn](#): > > :rolleyes: We’re supposed to be _fighting_ ignorance. Reading and comprehension impaired - check. Thanks **WhyNot** , doesn’t seem to matter what you put in your posts sometimes. There will always be those who cherry-pick and take things out of context. For the last fucking time . . . \*\*It is a game, an old wives tale. I have no scientific backing to it. I never claimed I did. The subject matter seemed fitting for this. If you still have an issue, I suggest going back to grade school so you can learn how to read. Don’t put words into my mouth and flame me for something I NEVER SAID. \*\* Rest assured though, you look like the ignorant one here. Maybe [this](http://www.hop.com/prod_select/prod_select_read.jhtml;jsessionid=HCXGWC4UD4M5LQFIZBSCFEQ) will help you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/96bed5/32.png) [@Cat\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/78 "2005-08-30T12:26:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **sj2** > I just remembered that last night my girlfriend told me that she heard that drinking Guinness during pregnancy and _especially_ while breastfeeding is not only not harmful…but healthy. Note that she specified Guinness not any old ‘beer’ (Guinness is not a beer BTW). Guinness contains a lot of iron and that is why some people, doctors included, will suggest it has medicinal benefits. A friend of mine with some ‘female problems down below’ (ie almost constant bleeding) was told to drink at least half a pint a day, while they were trying to solve the problem, seeing as she didn’t like liver or spinach. ---
**Author:** ![Stringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Stringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/79 "2005-08-30T13:50:53Z")
> [@PinkMarabou](#): > > For the last fucking time . . . > \*\*It is a game, an old wives tale. I have no scientific backing to it. I never claimed I did. The subject matter seemed fitting for this. If you still have an issue, I suggest going back to grade school so you can learn how to read. Don’t put words into my mouth and flame me for something I NEVER SAID. \*\* This is what made me think you actually believed that the chart was legit: > [@PinkMarabou](#): > > My husband and I are gonna use this to try and get a boy the first time around. Novemebr and December, here we come Like I said, I probably mistook your tone for earnestness. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836/80 "2005-08-30T14:07:24Z")
> [@Cat Jones](#): > > (Guinness is not a beer BTW). 😕 Someone might want to tell the folks at [Guinness](http://www.guinness.com/us_en/beer/default.aspx) that. (It has barley and hops - of course it’s a beer!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-doctor-stop-freaking-my-wife-out/318836.md?page=5)