# You're not a mama tiger. You're a smothering cow **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2006, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816 "2006-09-07T19:10:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/21 "2006-09-08T12:56:50Z")
Keep us updated, **Tove**. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/22 "2006-09-08T14:31:46Z")
Not much too update, though. I’ve always been on the “lest said, soonest mended” school of conflict resolution, and anyway, this kid is ultimately his own problem, not mine. At this point, I don’t think there’s a real threat of his unrequited love going to the danger levels that other SDMB’ers have reported in threads on the topic of stalking. Also, I’m glad this thread didn’t veer into an obesity flame-war. Yes, this kid is fat, but that isn’t the main reason he’s not pitching woo with the girl next door. Do I think his mom’s own obesity as well as her overfeeding her son indicitave of her overall attitude? Yes. But I’m not here to blow that up into a blanket indictment of American eating habits. Thank you all for “not going there” I am not bigoted against the heavy, in fact, I recommend a man should marry a tatooed fat woman (OK - I won’t tell the rest of that dumb old joke.) Too bad this didn’t happen a couple of months ago. I responded to a blind ad for fathers raising daughter alone. It turned out to be for a start-up talk show, the host of whom was a writer for _Sex in the City_ and the author of “Maybe He’s Just Not Into You” (sic?). The scheduler was very nice and not at all phoney about her sympathy for my wife’s death, but she left me with a faux-confirmation that I’d be a guest, which I’m sure she knew that I knew was a brush off. I’m fairly certain what they really wanted were wacky guys trying to get laid while jealously guarding their daughter’s hymens, like the hypocritical petty-nobleman in an opera bouffe. Oh **FordPerfect** , for Northern transplants to Georgia, “the talk” consist of “It’s is almost impossible to find a pharmacist who’ll dispense the morning-after pill, much less an abortion clinic down here.” So in my overstuffed medicine cabinet are condoms which she tacitly pretends are for my use, although they’re really not; and I tacitly agree not to count until the box is empty. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/23 "2006-09-08T14:45:22Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Oh **FordPerfect** , for Northern transplants to Georgia, “the talk” consist of “It’s is almost impossible to find a pharmacist who’ll dispense the morning-after pill, much less an abortion clinic down here.” So in my overstuffed medicine cabinet are condoms which she tacitly pretends are for my use, although they’re really not; and I tacitly agree not to count until the box is empty. [/QUOTE] _wild applause_ ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/24 "2006-09-08T15:22:16Z")
That’s a good start but condoms are unreliable. If she’s responsible enough to start having sex perhaps you should bring up the topic of obtaining hormonal birth control from a doctor with her? ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/25 "2006-09-08T15:59:15Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] The pudgy kid down the block seems to have had a crush on her, though, and didn’t take it too well. I had “Fuck Niggers” painted on the street and on the wall of the church next door. These were all promptly painted out. [/QUOTE] Not to sound too pollyannish but what makes you think this kid with a crush actually did this? Are his parents racist? Perhaps there is just rampant racism in your community and someone else objected to the miscegenation. Maybe the mom did it. You seem to think he did it merely because he likes your daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/26 "2006-09-08T16:00:27Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Oh **FordPerfect** , for Northern transplants to Georgia, “the talk” consist of “It’s is almost impossible to find a pharmacist who’ll dispense the morning-after pill, much less an abortion clinic down here.” So in my overstuffed medicine cabinet are condoms which she tacitly pretends are for my use, although they’re really not; and I tacitly agree not to count until the box is empty. [/QUOTE] How old is she? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/27 "2006-09-08T16:03:21Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve actually been pitted twice, once because of a misunderstanding and once because I was apparently an elitist asshole for approving of a mother encouraging her children to get a good education to get a good job. But this time I’m innocent, I promise! My son is neither pudgy nor still living at home! But I’ve noticed Smothering Cow hasn’t posted here with any denial. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/28 "2006-09-08T17:12:49Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Oh **FordPerfect** , for Northern transplants to Georgia, “the talk” consist of “It’s is almost impossible to find a pharmacist who’ll dispense the morning-after pill, much less an abortion clinic down here.” So in my overstuffed medicine cabinet are condoms which she tacitly pretends are for my use, although they’re really not; and I tacitly agree not to count until the box is empty. [/QUOTE] You ever get this far north, I’m buying you a beer. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/29 "2006-09-08T18:41:59Z")
[QUOTE=col\_10022] Not to sound too pollyannish but what makes you think this kid with a crush actually did this? Are his parents racist? Perhaps there is just rampant racism in your community and someone else objected to the miscegenation. Maybe the mom did it. You seem to think he did it merely because he likes your daughter. [/QUOTE] We think it’s him because the night before the painting, when the boyfriend was dropping Angela off, Robert was yelling “Nigger! Nigger!” As far as the ramapant racism - well, the city did show up promptly and paint-out the graffitti. The parents had never said anything racist to me (if someone truly is a racist, they tend to drop clues into casual conversation pretty fast). Is it really racist down here? Institutionally, I don’t think so. A few month ago a Black kid abducted and raped a white girl at the nearby mall. The cops went to his house and dragged him to jail. Imagine would have happened to him if this really were the racist South that people up North sometimes still think it to be! On the other hand, down here you do run into a strange logical twist: "Racism exists up North also, therefore racism is not unique to the South; _therefore rasicm doesn’t exist in the South._ For evidence of cultural as opposed to institutional racism hanging strong down here, go to CraigsList, to the Rant & Rave section. Look at what they’re ranting about in your city’s R&R, then look at Atlanta’s: “niggerniggerniggher…” **treemae** (#24) She’s 16, going on 35. The issues with her mother caused her to grow up pretty fast, so I have to pratice stealth parentling. I couldn’t slip a trip to the gyno in under the radar as easily as a box of Trojans into the cabinet. I could really be the wacky talk-show fodder single dad though Day one: Girlfriend: Angela, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost! Angela: worse! My dad took me to get birth control pills. And he insisited on coming in and talking to the doctor! I guess he meant well, so I didn’t kill him. Day two: Girlfriend: Now what? Angela: I should have killed him! Today he decided to further my sex education by describing how a woman can get pregnant after anal sex! Really, I just won’t feel clean now until he’d dead! ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816/30 "2006-09-08T19:20:15Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Oh **FordPerfect** , for Northern transplants to Georgia, “the talk” consist of “It’s is almost impossible to find a pharmacist who’ll dispense the morning-after pill, much less an abortion clinic down here.” So in my overstuffed medicine cabinet are condoms which she tacitly pretends are for my use, although they’re really not; and I tacitly agree not to count until the box is empty. [/QUOTE] Nice! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/youre-not-a-mama-tiger-youre-a-smothering-cow/371816.md?page=1)